MatthewFive
Member
- Joined
- Jan 16, 2012
- Messages
- 31
I didn't know where else to post this, so please forgive me if it's in the wrong section.
For years I've heard God speaking in my head, not necessarily in spoken voice, but in vision and emotion. An answer to a question I haven't even asked yet floating around inside my head and driving me crazy because I couldn't ignore it and couldn't get it out of my head.
I began to get angry and upset at the world around me because of the things I saw happening in it. The cruel ways of man and the punishment people put on themselves. The crowd at the shopping center battling each other over a piece of fabric with some fluff inside, or the honking of horns from impatient people at an intersection. Just the daily routine of oblivious and angry people going about their mundane rituals with no compassion for anyone.
These are the things I saw. These are the feelings I felt each and every day. I would wake up in the morning and find myself surrounded by ugliness, then I would step outside my door. My surroundings became a bother to me and even my own family became a nuisance to me. I couldn't find love or happiness in anything because of what I saw.
Then I cried as I knelt beside my bed. I created a pool of tears in front of me as I cried out for the Lord to help me, to forgive me, and to accept me.
But I still cry. I cry both because I know God is real, and I know that he's been screaming to me for years. But I also cry because I am so sorry for ignoring him. So sorry for doing all the wrong things that I did, even though I KNEW it was wrong. And every time, I ask of His forgiveness in Jesus name. So much guilt is piled on me and I feel so ashamed in his presence, but I cry also because I know he forgives me and that's not something that I take lightly.
Thank you God. Thank you for sending your only son to die for me. Thank you for accepting me into your arms even though I have done such atrocious things, and thank you for giving me each and every day to realize how much you forgive me. I love you, God
For years I've heard God speaking in my head, not necessarily in spoken voice, but in vision and emotion. An answer to a question I haven't even asked yet floating around inside my head and driving me crazy because I couldn't ignore it and couldn't get it out of my head.
I began to get angry and upset at the world around me because of the things I saw happening in it. The cruel ways of man and the punishment people put on themselves. The crowd at the shopping center battling each other over a piece of fabric with some fluff inside, or the honking of horns from impatient people at an intersection. Just the daily routine of oblivious and angry people going about their mundane rituals with no compassion for anyone.
These are the things I saw. These are the feelings I felt each and every day. I would wake up in the morning and find myself surrounded by ugliness, then I would step outside my door. My surroundings became a bother to me and even my own family became a nuisance to me. I couldn't find love or happiness in anything because of what I saw.
Then I cried as I knelt beside my bed. I created a pool of tears in front of me as I cried out for the Lord to help me, to forgive me, and to accept me.
But I still cry. I cry both because I know God is real, and I know that he's been screaming to me for years. But I also cry because I am so sorry for ignoring him. So sorry for doing all the wrong things that I did, even though I KNEW it was wrong. And every time, I ask of His forgiveness in Jesus name. So much guilt is piled on me and I feel so ashamed in his presence, but I cry also because I know he forgives me and that's not something that I take lightly.
Thank you God. Thank you for sending your only son to die for me. Thank you for accepting me into your arms even though I have done such atrocious things, and thank you for giving me each and every day to realize how much you forgive me. I love you, God
