Dear God, please bless these words to your people. May all who read this be drawn closer to you by receiving an intimate knowledge of your love. In Jesus name we pray. Amen.
Relationships are one of our most valuable treasures, therefore for many of us; it is important to maintain healthy and positive relationships. You may be one of the more than 15 million people who have already improved their relationships by learning about the 5 love languages by Dr. Gary Chapman . In his book titled the 5 love languages, Dr. Chapman, renowned author and senior associate pastor at Calvary Baptist Church in Winston-Salem North Carolina, helps people to identify their unique love profile. The 5 love languages he identifies are, words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch. Dr. Chapman states, “Your love language profile will explain your primary love language, what it means, and how you can use it to connect to others.” The idea behind this relationship revolution that has saved many marriages, and has strengthen many relationships, is that we all have a special way in which we receive love. When both partners in a relationship are aware of each others love language, this allows love to be more effectively shared and received.
Let us look for example at a husband who may enjoy showing his wife love by giving gifts. Unfortunately if his wife’s love language is quality time, she may never receive his love through the gifts he gives her. It is only when he is able to understand what his wife’s unique love language is (quality time in this example), that he will be able to better communicate love to her in a way that she can receive it, such as through taking her out of dates or giving her time to share her feelings.
GOD DESIRES A RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU
Knowing the love language of another person is wonderful because it allows us to focus on what the other person needs, not just what we want to give them. In light of the importance that we put on our intimate earthly romantic relationships, as Christians, I wonder if we have ever cared to wonder about God’s love language? At times we may be prone to think of God as some distant and all power being that we can never truly know or have a relationship with, but this is not the God of the Bible. The God of the Bible is a God that wants to be in a relationship with us, instead of just ruling over us. This is why in the old testament God’s presence dwelt in the Garden of Eden with Adam and Eve, and this is why in the new testament the presence of God once again dwelt with us in the person of Jesus. And this is why today God’s presence dwells in every believer in the person of the Holy Spirit living in us. God could have stayed at a distance, ruling us with an iron fist and barking orders at us, but this is not his personality. God desires a relationship with us; since he already knows everything about us, He desires for us to get to know Him. This is why Jesus described eternal life in a prayer to God the Father by saying, “And this is life eternal, that they might know thee the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom thou hast sent.(John 17:3)“
JESUS POINTS THE WAY
For us in these present days, knowing God comes only through a relationship with Jesus, for in Jesus lies the two love languages of God. Yes, it is true that we love God only because He first loved us (1st John 4:19), but the love that he initiates(first) is in hope that we will freely respond back(reciprocate) in His love language. Unlike Dr. Chapman’s 5 love languages, God’s love language is neither words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch, though at times they may be beneficial in drawing us closer to God(James 4:8). These two love languages of God can both be found clearly in the person of Jesus the Christ. If we understand that God wants a relationship with us and that Jesus was sent as the revelation of God to mankind, then looking at Jesus should show us the nature of God. Remember Jesus said, “I and the Father are one(John 10:30)”, and “For I did not speak on my own, but the Father who sent me commanded me to say all that I have spoken(John 12:49).” Many are looking all over and seeking a revelation from God, but God has already revealed Himself to us in the person of Jesus. In determining God’s love language, look no further my beloved friends but to Jesus and remember what Jesus told Philip in John 14:9. Jesus said, “Don't you know me, Philip, even after I have been among you such a long time? Anyone who has seen me has seen the Father. How can you say, 'Show us the Father'”
NUMBER ONE (OBEY ME )
Through Jesus we see that the first love language of God is obedience. Jesus told His disciples in John 14:15, “If ye love me, keep my commandments.” Jesus was speaking directly to them about love and how He receives their love from them. In the book of 1st John, John confirms that this is indeed one of God’s love language. John write, “In fact, this is love for God: to keep his commands. And his commands are not burdensome, for everyone born of God overcomes the world. This is the victory that has overcome the world, even our faith.” Yes, these are new testament verses, and for my friends who love to drink from the living waters from the Old Testament scriptures, we also see this stated numerous places in the old testament. For example Moses writes in Deuteronomy 11:1, “ Love the LORD your God and keep his requirements, his decrees, his laws and his commands always.” And in Ezekiel 20:19-20 it reads, “I am the Lord your God; follow(obey) my decrees and be careful to keep my laws. Keep my Sabbaths holy, that they may be a sign between us. Then you will know that I am the Lord your God.” We see over and over in scripture from new testament disciples like John(the Elder) to old testament prophets like Ezekiel, to the Old testament law giver, Moses, and even Jesus himself, that obedience to God is a primary love language of God. To drill the point even further in case there was any doubt in your mind, Jesus put it even more directly, He said in Luke 6:46, “Why do you call me, 'Lord, Lord,' and do not do what I say[obey me]?” ,and; In Matthew 7:21 Jesus said, “Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven.” Friends, loving God means obeying God.
NUMBER TWO( LOVE OTHERS )
The second love language of God is love for our fellow human beings. Like the first love language, this love language is all over the scriptures as well. 1st John 4:20 reads, “If a man say, I love God, and hateth his brother, he is a liar: for he that loveth not his brother whom he hath seen, how can he love God whom he hath not seen?” John, who shared with us God’s first love language of obedience now also shares God’s second, which is loving our brothers and sisters in this world. For more support let us look at Peter’s encounter with Jesus after the crucifixion, having denied Jesus three times after claiming that he loved Him. John 21:17 reads, “The third time he said to him, "Simon son of John, do you love me?" Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, "Do you love me?" He said, "Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you." Jesus said, "Feed my sheep.” Jesus often referred to Himself as the Good shepherd (“I am the good shepherd” - John 10:11), and referred to His followers as sheep. By telling Peter to feed His sheep, Jesus was speaking of taking care of those in the body of Christ. Jesus wanted Peter to love the people and take care of their spiritual needs just as Jesus had. Jesus was telling Peter directly, this is what it means to love me, take care of those that I love.
Loving God means loving people and we see Jesus blast the Pharisees over and over because they were too focused on legalism and rituals and were not truly loving people. This was shown clearly in the parable of the unmerciful servant in which a servant was forgiven but refused to forgive someone else who owed him money (Matthew 18:21-35). We also see this in the parable of the sheep and the goats, Jesus said in Matthew 25:36 “I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.'” Bewildered by when they did these things for Him, Jesus says in Matthew 25:40, “ The King will reply, 'Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.'” Once again we see that the scriptures connect our love for God with how we treat others here on earth. Friends, loving God means loving others.
LOVE GOD IN HIS LOVE LANGUAGE
Brothers and sisters in Christ, let us remember that God has a personality, though He is not a flawed person like we are. God is the perfect person, our perfect heavenly Father. As awesome and powerful as He is, God still desires for us to have a relationship with Him. He does not want us to be scared of Him, which is why Jesus came down to earth to show us that His love for you. He played with children(Matthew 19:14), cried at funerals (John 11:35), had social drinks(responsibly) with the common folks(Matthew 11:19), and even suffered a brutal death on the cross serving as our mediator to God(1 Timothy 2:5). Jesus did all this to let us know that God wants a relationship with us. That is why the scripture tells us in Hebrews 4:16, “Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.” All of this tells us that if we are to have a relationship with God, knowing God’s love language is important, and now you know. God’s love languages are obedience to God and love for our fellow brothers and sisters in this world.
The natural way is to try to work to please God, but like the husband giving gifts to a wife whose love language is quality time, God will not recognize our works as love. For God to receive our love we must speak his love language as the Bible tells us, all of our righteousness is like filthy rags before God. Isaiah 64:6 reads, “All of us have become like one who is unclean, and all our righteous acts are like filthy rags; we all shrivel up like a leaf, and like the wind our sins sweep us away.” I’ll be the first to testify that I too am a chief sinner and have caused much grief to people along the path of live due to the deception of sin and evil desires that lie in the human heart. With all this in mind, how can unclean sinners as ourselves truly love others or be obedient and righteous before a Holy God? Simply put we cannot on our own power and strength. It is only through faith in Jesus by the grace of God, that we can be declared righteous before God; in our flesh we will never be able to keep God’s law perfectly or love people perfectly.
Yes, God’s love language is obedience to God and love for others, but this is not something that we do ourselves. Loving others only comes after we first receive the love of God(through Jesus), and being obedient to the laws of God will only comes if we believe in faith in the righteous of Jesus given as a free gift to us. If you want to speak God’s love language obey God and love others, to do this just relax and trust Jesus to lead the way.
-Your Brother in Christ WNL
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