Hi Zoss, I'd like to commend you for having the courage to disclose this struggle that you are going through. A lot of healing can come from being able to tell your story and being heard. Even though you have gotten back into this habit, and it may feel difficult to work through, there is part of you that wants to overcome it. If you didn't, you wouldn' have made the effort to share your story.
My concern is the nature of the habit you are referring to. I will not request any details, since I respect your privacy and boundaries, but I would suggest, if this has not already happened, to tell someone you know and trust, such as family/friends, or a counsellor about this coping mechanism that you have come back to. If your coping mechanism involves self-harm, drug-abuse/misuse, eating issues, or any other risky behaviors, sometimes family and friends-though with the best intentions, may not be able to tactfully handle it. In that case I would highly recommend seeing a trained professional, such as a social worker, guidance counsellor, or doctor. A simple google search could help you find someone like that.
But with this said, I also pray that God strengthens and protects you from the inner push to seek relief in unhealthy ways. He sees you in your pain, in your moments of weakness, and wants to provide you with a way out. "The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure.: 1 Corinthians 10:13
Feel free to send me a private message if you need someone to talk to.
Your sister in Christ
