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Girlfriend who doesnt believe in the Bible

Discussion in 'Seeking Jesus' started by ljoha, Jul 6, 2009.

  1. Hey fellow christians : )

    I'm 21 and my girlfriend is 18. We just got together. She's perfect for me in every way but we recently sat down and talked about everything. She believes in God and that Jesus died for our sins. But she says that she doesnt believe in the Bible. I asked her why she believed that Jesus died for us if she didnt believe in the Bible, cause those 2 kinda go together. But she didnt have any answer to that. She says she cant trust the people who wrote the Bible. And since she doesnt believe in the Bible she doesnt see life as I do. She just wants to have fun and enjoy life. She just believes in God and Jesus and that's it.

    She's really stubborn about it, and she gets a little angry it seems when we talk about it cause I guess I pretend to know it all. In this case I do hehe. I dont know what to say to her. This makes me really sad and I dont know what to do. Can you guys give me some advice? How should I approach this?

    Thank you so much : )
  2. Brother, what I'll say you won't like, but since you seem like you care and you're asking, I must try to explain it to you.

    You can't be with someone who have different beliefs, it will always get in the way, one day you'll be happy and the next you'll be questioning yourself, while you're supposed to have peace at a relationship, that if it's from God.

    You may try to discuss it with her again, or pray for her, but don't fall for her, my last ex was agnostic and when I first met him I thought by time he would come around and believe, it never happened, and we had the worst break up, it took me a year to get over it.

    Maybe if I asked Christians before dating him, they would have told me what I'm telling you now, and I would have gotten upset too, but they would have been correct.

    Trust me, you'd be alot happier if you have a GF who believed in everything you believed, it would make you alot happier, and it will last.

    God bless.
  3. I have thought about what you are saying but I'm not ready to go there quite yet. I know that christians shouldnt mix with non believers but I feel like she's not that far away. She just needs some guidance. She believes in God and Jesus. I wanna know how I can introduce the Bible to her : )
  4. It is interesting how she can't trust the people who wrote the Bible...BUT she believes in God and Jesus. Because as far as I know and believe, the people who wrote the Bible weren't just writing anything. The Bible is God-inspired. You can't believe in God and Jesus and NOT the Bible. I wonder if someone told her something about the Bible she didn't like.

    Sure, the Bible has things in it that we don't like, but it is STILL God's Word.

    I don't know how to get her to believe in it...

  5. Hi brother. Sounds like she's not sincerely a believer. It is not logical nor possible in the sincere sense of it - to be a believer in Jesus Christ / GOD and yet not believe in the validity and Divinity of the Bible. Honestly, that is very contradicting beyond belief in itself. That is why I say she is likely not a genuine believer. How is it possible for her to even know who GOD is and the character of Him when she refuses to believe in the Bible?

    Don't be deceived and don't waste your time with her. GOD makes it very clear not to be unequally yoked with an unbeliever. Too many label themselves as Christians, but do they walk with Jesus?

    2 Corinthians 6:14-15 (English Standard Version)

    <sup id="en-ESV-28896" class="versenum" value="14">14</sup> Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? <sup id="en-ESV-28897" class="versenum" value="15">15</sup> What accord has Christ with Belial? Or what portion does a believer share with an unbeliever?

    Clearly, she had no answer to your question. That pretty much says all you need to hear. She gets angry when you discuss GOD and the Bible? That says volumes as well. Which genuine believer who loves GOD would get angry like that?

    Pray for her, but don't be unequally yoked. I learned this the hard way about 5 years ago myself. Don't waste your time.
  6. If you're going to stay together then she might swing over to the bible. Consider a movie maybe. I found Passion of Christ / In the Beginning quite interesting and they started me reading.

    It's so addictive but don't force it. Just talk about it and if she give's you the, 'It's a load of rubbish' Remember she needs to respect your beliefs as much as hers (mistake intended) :D
  7. My testimony states otherwise. I was an non believer when I found my wife (a believer). Now I live for God and my heat is his. My wife get's every now and then and I love her so much... she's amazing. I thank God every day for my wife, new found faith, and life. Everything is amazing but I pray for Child. What blessing would be higher if the Lord would open my wife's womb. I wait... pray for me.
  8. Amen. My friend wasn't saved when she started dating her husband, who was saved. She accepted Christ, and they are now a happily married Christian couple with 5 children. Who knows what God will do with someone's heart.

    Now, if there is an absolute refusal to believe; if the unsaved person has staunchly closed the door, then there should be some hesitation on the part of the Christian about continuing with the relationship. Use a little wisdom.

  9. My friend :
    Rom 10:17 So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.

    Bring your friend to a good bible believing church and let the Word of God do it's work. Lot's of exposure and much prayer can move that mountain. BTW that unbelief is more than likely the product of hearing the foolish talk of unlearned folks and with lots of repetition it may seem credible to her. The antidote is to hear the truth.
    I will be praying for your friend.
  10. Although it worked with some of you, it doesn't have to work every time, cause it's not what God wants us to do, it may have worked because God had mercy, people don't change people, God changes people, respect God's words, do not be unequally yoked, it is as simple as that.

    If you believe in God, you believe in Jesus, and you believe in His word, save yourself the heartache, the only thing you can do is pray for her, do not decide to be with her now.
  11. That's GOD's grace. Keep in mind there are 6+ billion people on this planet and the handful of unequally yoked are certainly facing unnecessary trials due to poor decisions. The Bible is very clear.

    2 Corinthians 6:14-15 (English Standard Version)

    <sup id="en-ESV-28896" class="versenum" value="14">14</sup> Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? <sup id="en-ESV-28897" class="versenum" value="15">15</sup> What accord has Christ with Belial? Or what portion does a believer share with an unbeliever?
  12. I totally agree with Chad, I know feelings can be intense and hard to control, but believe me, you'll fall much deeper for a believer, it will feel right, you'll be truly happy! You'll have no worries cause both of you are walking the same walk! I feel obligated to keep telling you that, I was where you were before.

    The only greatest relationship I ever had was with a guy who truly was after God's heart, it was really from heavens, although we let the devil get in the way later on,

    I've seen believers fall in love more than non believers, they fall for real, and most of the time, it lasts, you can really have something that beautiful, God gives us more than we deserve and more than we expect.
  13. Some people have their hearts and minds closed to God and there isn't much you can do about it. However, if you wanted to show her the Bible is in fact the wholly inspired Word of God, you could guide her through the prophecy of the Bible. Give her a quick rundown on the history of the writing of the Bible (when the Old Testament and New Testaments were written). Then, start with the Old Testament prophecy declaring the coming of Jesus. Then talk about the signs of the times from the New Testament. Then tie it all together with Old and New Testament scripture prophecy about the birth of Israel, the new world government system, the River Euphrates drying up (which it did for the first time this last month). I dunno, she may think you're nuts for believing all of this despite the fact that the Bible is a proven accurate prophetic guide. Some people just don't want to see it.
  14. :handshake: I AGREE.

    I want to share a cute story on how one of my closest friend had been save, and it involves dating a non Christian too.

    So she was not a Christian and we were classmates at college, we had been really close but shes not sharing much about her lovelife.

    One day we are walking home and she asked me..
    "So, what is Christianity anyway?" I was puzzled that it came out of nowhere, she knows Im a Christian because Im sharing the Gospel to her, but I was not aware she had a previous situation. She started asking me whats the difference of being a christian, why are christians like this or that. Until she finally revealed that she was dumped by a Christian guy, but it was not in a harsh way.
    She says "One day, he just called me and told me, 'I cannot handle both of you.." She didnt know what it meant. Two weeks gone by and so on. She realized that it was because of Christianity. Everything was going well with them, but she didnt understand why he had to left him because of being a Christian. Although he was sharing the gospel to her too and she listens all the time(but still shes not a believer). She knew his guy loved God more than he loves her. And now she is a Christian too... for almost 4 years now and is happily committed to a Christian guy too.

    As I look back to it, I was always inspired that she was saved because she was dumped by a Christian guy, she wondered so much why... until she herself believed.

    You see we have no idea how God will work, even the genius of our minds will never know God's plans in the future. But when we do whats right, everything follows.

    I think my advice for those who are yoked with unbelievers, is make a choice. And choose God.

    Just like that guy who dumped my friend, he said, "I can't handle both of you." And both includes the girl and God. He knows in his heart that he is making a sin for being with her and he have to do the right thing. And that right thing resulted in another right thing, because she eventually become a Christian anyway.

    We cannot say one is almost a Christian or 99% almost a Christian.
    We cannot assume they will become too (because that would mean we put the decision in our hands instead of God's will)
    We can only Pray, Share and put the Trust in God.
  15. Here's my 2 cents. She sees verses like Leviticus 20 and doesn't see how the Bible can still be a source of Holiness. Mention to her that there is no evidence of the Israelites stoning people to death for being gay, maybe that would open her up more.
  16. #16 Clara, Jul 24, 2009
    Last edited: Jul 24, 2009
    in my point of view the most hypocritical thing is 2 believe in Jesus and don't believe in his book

    But oh well u should try 2 convince her again

    but if she insists ,then u should find another one :p

    P.s sorry 4 my bad English =)
  17. Agreed. At this stage I probably would put a fair amount of effort into introducing her to Christ but eventually if she did not want to come I would move on to another relationship.
  18. Something to think about...

    You've been quoted the passage about how you are not to yoke yourself unequally to an unbeliever. I fully agree you should not be in a hurry to *marry* this young woman, but you just met her so that shouldn't be an issue anyway.

    But I am surprised that no one quoted to you the many scriptures that declare that one MUST read and believe the book we call the Bible, in order to be Saved.

    Oh wait....that's because there aren't any.


    Don't get me wrong, I think the Bible is a great book, and it's the only record we have of the eye-witness testimonies of those who had the honor of living in the days when Christ walked the earth incarnate the first time. But do we worship the book or the God who inspired it?

    All through those very Scriptures we see the pattern over and over of people who "get it" telling other people about what they "get" until those people are moved by that *living* testimony to start *really* asking and seeking. But we *don't* see Paul suggesting people read up on what James had already written, or John saying "You can't possibly be Christian until you've read the Torah...(which would have been the only easily collected works available in his day).

    The average converted Christian hears the testimony of the *living* Christians around him. He reaches a point where he wants the relationship with the Lord that they have and he finally says some version of the sinner's prayer, accepts Jesus, and is Saved. He then *starts* developing his relationship with the Lord.

    Most converted Christians *start* seriously looking into the Scriptures at that point...very few read first and get converted that way.

    I'm willing to *bet* that this woman hasn't actually read the Bible, or that she started at Genesis, got wrapped up in the Law, and didn't make it any further because she'd broken enough of the laws to feel wholly worthless and overwhelmed at the end of reading them. She's probably heard a dozen "quotes" that aren't actually IN the Bible, from other people who haven't actually read it, which are also messing her up. And like most people today, she's exposed to the VAST "resources" that go on and on about how the Bible is broken or just literature or whatever.

    But you *have* apparently read the Bible and it's important to you. So start with that. Grab your favorite Bible story...the one that reaches out to you and really speaks to you. Ask her to read it with you. Share with her how it touches you or how you see God reflected in it. Even if she takes the Bible as pure mythology, she ought to be able to do that much with you. Read the words of Jesus and ask see if she thinks the words recorded there come close to anything He would say or teach. At best, you'll get her to realize the worth of the Bible. At worst, you'll start reading and she'll start running like her ears are on fire...either way you will know the truth of her nature.

    As for trust....

    Your girlfriend mentioned that she doesn't trust the men who wrote the Bible. Why does she think she *needs* to trust them. She says she believes in God...doesn't she trust HIM? It's not like He didn't know they were writing a Bible ;)

    But which Bible? There are over 100 translations of the Bible available just in English. That's nifty, but there are a LOT of people on this planet who are never going to learn English and there are many bibles that went directly from Greek and Latin to languages other than English. Even if you learn Hebrew, Aramaic, and Greek, you have over two dozen extant manuscripts to choose from and some of those do not agree for one word in five!

    The bible isn't a just book, it's a battlefield. The 66 book KJV that many hold as the "final say" on all things biblical had EIGHTY books in it even as published in the US till the late 1800's. Satan's always publishing the "next best translation" with this or that messed up in an attempt to stumble people. There was even a movement to strip the entire OT from the record, and you can still find copies of "abridged" bibles, or bibles adding in "newly found" texts that were never before a part of any book called a bible, etc.

    Left solely to the belief that we have to depend on MEN to get a complete accurate picture of GOD, we're pretty much doomed. It can't be done. You are left with a scattered, badly translated, badly interpreted, incomplete collection of myths and taboos absolutely no better than any other religion's collection of myths and taboos. One man's word is not guaranteed to be any more truthful than another.

    God doesn't ask us to trust the men He inspires.

    God asks us to trust Him.

    Do you think He just ignores what men try to do?

    The miracle of the Bible is that you can have that much variation and STILL end up with the same overriding Message. God has his hand on every translation of the Bible on earth. He rains on the just and the wicked alike.

    He knows there are versions of "Bibles" out there that have little to nothing to do with His word, and if that's where an honest seeker starts, He will get them from those words to His Word safely. I'm living proof of that.

    He also knows there are people digging around in valid texts for loopholes. They'll have their reward in time too. But NO ONE who is genuinely seeking the Lord is left unanswered or lost.

    This girl apparently believes in God and believes in you. Ask her why her God would lead her to fall in love with a guy who so deeply believes in the worth of the Bible, if the Bible had no value.
  19. I know this post is a little old, but for future readers with a non-believing partner, I hope this will give you some confidence & encouragement.

    I do have a gripe with this responder however.

    With all due respect, what this girl says is a little bit quick to judge & therefore act. The person asking this question wanted to know how to get his girlfriend to believe in Jesus.. And you respond, If she does not believe.. Dump her? Even if there was little hope, this would not be the answer.

    If we had this kind of attitude regarding all non-believers then how would you expect to bring anyone to Jesus? Christians would be seen as uncaring, isolating people who do not accept anyone who is not Christian.

    The majority of non-believers are not easy to convince that Jesus is real, let alone change their lives in accordance to the bible. It is usually more often than not a slow & hard task.. And since this is regarding someone you love & care for I urge you to persist. Do not break up & lose someone you love for the reason outlined above. You have been given an opportunity to bring someone into the kingdom.

    So how do we do this? God can give you strength, patience, wisdom etc but you need to set an example, you need to be the living example of Christ. I'll share with you one example from my own life.

    My girlfriend is from South Korea, her mother & father are Buddhists but she is agnostic. For the first few months of our relationship, we did not talk much about religion or Jesus, we were finding out if we were right for each other simple by dating, (Worldly compatibility is just as important as faith compatibility for a lasting relationship). As time went by we became more serious, she met my Christian parents, we said our grace, ate our meals, talked & chatted and eventually because she loved me, she followed me to church. I did not even have to ask her, she wanted to go.

    Naturally she had her own opinions on the sermon, disagreeing and explaining to me her reasons. I would explain to her my own reasons & why the bible influences them. By pure example of daily Christian living, her heart became willing. She, slowly after one year started to ask me to pray for her, to ask me questions about the reality of Jesus & the bible, to put Christian music in her phone & again to pray for her. When a willing heart opens God can speak through us to change her life.

    Now imagine if I had decided to dump her because she was not Christian. She would have not even given Christianity a chance. If a non-believer becomes a Christian.. angels rejoice. If we lose a potential Christian, what would angels do?

    She also stated that love between a believer is more real than that of non-believers. I love my girlfriend because she is the most amazing woman to me, not because I am Christian. And I would say if I was not Christian I would love her the same way. But because I am Christian I want to see her saved, I want her to experience the same joy I do when I worship God, I want my children to grow up with Christian morals.

    So consider this a God given opportunity to bring her to Jesus. Do not force or condemn her opinions, simply acknowledge and then present your own. 90% of the time, if done correctly, a Christians view always makes more sense. Be patient, do not bible bash her but live your life according to the bible & eventually I promise you.
    She will see the bible through you.
  20. Although I certainly do, I must ask where does it say "You must believe in the Bible to be saved!" Faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word of God, not by reading it. Remember of the first 100s of 1,000s of SPirit filled saved Christians most could not read a single word. The essence is you must believe that He is and that He is a rewarder of those who seek Him, and that Jesus died for our sins and bodily rose again on the third day....does she believe these things? If so, over time she will come around...just let the word be heard (Preaching, Christian radio, in your words and testimony, and so on)

    In His love

    Brother Paul

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