Gifts from Children

[Chad]

Gifts from Children - January 03, 2007

I was doing an errand when the beautiful strains of a symphony came over the airwaves from NPR. I don't usually have my radio on NPR, choosing instead to listen to a local news station. All of a sudden I realized it had been over a year since I had heard the richness of a really good orchestra creating live stirring music all around me.

Now that our middle daughter has graduated from the school of music at the state university in our town, we are no longer attending the frequent recitals and orchestra programs we made time for (let's face it) just because she was in them.

And that realization made me suddenly aware of all the many gifts our children gave us.
I know Christmas is over but perhaps January is a good time to revel in the continuing glow (we hope) of the holiday season: remembering times with family, children, feasting. What gifts did your children give you? I'm not talking about the store-bought kind.

Without my children, I would never have experienced what marching band was all about and all that went with thatthe running to cities hither and yon to attend competitions, see parades, or go to the football games where they were playing in the bandincluding a high school state championship game and a college national championship gameas well as the Macy Thanksgiving Parade in New York City. I would never have run alongside to keep up with the band during a parade, and then wept silly sentimental tears for each one's very last parade, or leaped (in a very undignified manner) high off my seat in the grandstand with other parents when finally, finally the band achieved their first "first."

I would never have experienced keeping eyes peeled to my children on stage in musicals, choir and band concerts, recitals, plays, elementary school pageants, graduations.

I would never have experienced sucking in my breath when a fast ball was hurdled at them in girl's softball, or an elbow was thrown rebounding a basketball, or the shared embarrassment of one coming in last in the long jump or the 440.

Without my children, I would never have gotten to relive the drama, pain and proffered bouquets of roses thrust into awkward hands during teenage dating.

I would never have had the privilege of chaperoning sleepovers and birthday parties; and eavesdropping on tales of other kids' first kisses and guys' roaming hands if I hadn't driven carpools and vanloads of adolescents.

These are the gifts of childrenand that's just the beginning. I know I wrote at one time about the many gifts children give when they are smaller. Tight hugs and wet kisses. Candy they held tightly in their hands for an hour but now want you to eat. Already-been-chewed hamburger or French fries. Sweet bed and mealtime prayers. Innocent questions like "Why did God make the clouds so high?" After you've grasped for a decent answer, you gape in wonder at the answer they had already formulated, waiting to test it with you: "Maybe it's so we don't mess with them."

Children bring the rediscovery of how fun it is to watch ants scurry on the sidewalk, butterflies emerge from a cocoon, or experience the peacefulness of observing crawdads in a rippling creek.

Many times the gift children give us is just to make us laugh. A ten year old was helping his mother at our office one day when he saw one guy's desk stacked high with many messy papers. "Looks like he's got lots of work to do," Owen observed. I got a good laugh out of that. It brightened my day.

Whether they are two, twelve, 22 or more, thank God for the gifts children have brought to your lifewhether they are yours or someone else's!

Contributed by Melodie Davis: [email protected] Melodie is the author of eight books and writes a syndicated newspaper column, Another Way

 

[Sweet Violet]

Amen to that Chad, what a wonderful thought to start off the day!!

I always see children as young people in their own right, and should be treated as such. I feel my role as a parent, although hard sometimes, is to give my kids the tools they will need to survive in the world, and offer them guidance when needed. Although I am lone parent, I try to provide for my kids a safe, secure and stable home - so, although I have my bad moments just like anyone else - they know what they are coming home to at the end of the day.

Although I don't pretend to be mother of the year, I believe that it is appropriate to apologise to my kids when necessary...and in return I expect the same from them. I also think it is appropriate to share in their fun...whether that's giggling at SpongeBob SquarePants while under a blanket on the sofa or having lightsaber duels in the dark.

For me, my best ally as a parent is The Holy Spirit - instead of blowing my top, I try to walk into another room and mutter to myself, 'please Lord, I don't know the best way to handle this situation - show me what to do'. And the answer always comes.

Recently, another mum of young children came into my life, and I genuinely like this person - but, rightly or wrongly, I find it disturbing the way that she lashes out physically and verbally at her two little girls. She will whack them to take out her own frustration and stress on them, and it hurts me to see the pain and confusion in their eyes, and when the two girls beg to come over to my house night after night, because they know they won't be screamed at or hit for the slightest thing. I am quite a private person, and it would, selfishly, drive me crazy to have a houseful night after night! I'm not trying to get into a debate about smacking here, as some parents believe it is ok to smack to discipline their kids, and they grow up to be quite balanced individuals. But this lady really does hurt her kids, and naturally the kids are rebelling against their mum. They find it strange that my little daughter doesn't get hit, and she is not spiteful or distructive (but boy, is she miserable in the mornings!) :star:

I know it is not my place to lecture this lady about her treatment of her kids, but I pray that, if I can be of any help at all, The Holy Spirit will show me how.

As adults, would we tolerate the kind of verbal and physical abuse that is a part of some children's daily lives? Would we tolerate being barked at, instead or spoken to with the respect we expect as human beings? Or just being told to shut up day after day? (anyone can make a mistake or have a bad moment) No wonder these kids rebel...I know I would go out of my way to get back at the person in every subtle way I could get away with!!!

Surely the keyword here is respect...for both parents and children.

May you all have a happy and blessed day,

From your friend,

Rachel xx