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From Darkness to Light: Understanding Sexual Sin

Staff Member
Shame over sexual sin drives us into darkness. And when we remain in darkness, Satan’s lies enslave us – lies such as, “Nobody can forgive what you’ve done,” “You’ll never change,” “You need to fix this problem on your own,” or “You’ll lose the respect of your friends, family, and acquaintances if this ever gets out.” Once enslaved, our desperate desire to hide from the truth sends us spiraling down into ever deeper levels of shadowy self-deception. It’s a vicious and destructive cycle.

If this is your situation, you can combat the darkness by clinging to the light of God’s Word. The Bible has an answer for every single one of the devil’s discouraging lies:

1) Lie: “Nobody can forgive you.”
Response: “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9)

2) Lie: “You’ll never change.”
Response: “Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.” (2 Corinthians 4:16)

3) Lie: “You’ll lose the respect of your friends, family, and acquaintances.”
Response: “Humble yourself before the Lord, and He will lift you up.” (James 4:10)

4) Lie: “You need to fix this problem on your own.”
Response: “Encourage one another daily… so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness.” (Hebrews 3:13)

Coming into the light isn’t solely a matter of conversion. On the contrary, this transparent lifestyle is the only way to overcome addiction or any kind of perpetual sin. Light isn’t just the destination. It’s also the path out of darkness.
If you’re married, you and your spouse can create a specific plan for remaining vulnerable with each other and keeping your relationship in the light. Simply draw up a covenant that includes:

1) Open communication. Talk about boundaries and breaches, temptations, feelings, and needs.

2) Maintain oneness. Make it your policy that you won’t come together sexually as long as there is unconfessed sin.

3) Ongoing recovery. Each of you should establish daily accountability with Christian friends of the same sex.

4) Honor humility. Create a safe place where you can both confess sin or share hurts.

“Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that their deeds will be exposed. But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what they have done has been done in the sight of God." ‭‭John‬ ‭3:20-21‬ ‭

For more help, visit Pure Intimacy or Focus on the Family’s main website. You can also call the ministry’s Counseling Department for a free consultation at 855-771-HELP(4357).