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Fostering a Positive Outlook - June 06, 2007
Have you heard of the book, 14,000 Things to be Happy About? The best-selling book by Barbara Ann Kipfer (Workman Publishing), is simply a 611-page list of one item after another of things she celebrates or brings to attention. They are small tiny things to bring a smile, as well as huge bigger things that can make a life-changing difference in how you look at life.
The cover calls it "mesmerizing" and it is; one wonders if there can possibly be anything that she has left out.
Here's a small sampling: hayrack rides, soft robes to settle into, trouser pockets chortling with change, fondue sets, the bus arriving on time and with empty seats, free makeup samples, dogs leaning against your legs, pink-cheeked faces in knit hats, the sense of promise inherent in the start of a new year, remembering when jeans were only for play, egg-in-the-hole and bacon, a tractor inner tube (to float on), a trout pond, playing kick the can, children at recess, bowling leagues.
It is interesting the memories or thoughts a list of this kind conjures up. Some are profound: the silence of close friendship, smile lines, a quiet observer, 100-watt eyes, saying yes, facing the truth.
Some instantly bring a smile: when your fingertips have shriveled to prunes, and you're clean enough to put on fresh pajamas. While we're on that topic, clean sheets have also got to be on that list, I'm sure. And licking off a dasher of homemade ice cream.
The book makes me think of a statement made recently at the memorial service of another dearly loved woman from our church. Some called Connie a saint (for putting up with the pastors while she served as secretary of the church). But the most remarkable thing I heard was Connie's daughter saying she never heard her mother criticize anyone, or say a critical word about them. I know my daughters would never be able to say that about me.
This daughter took care of her mother for the last couple years of her life in her own home, so this comment is particularly laudable: anyone who has ever done that knows how difficult but also how rewarding and close you become in that daily, 24-hour-a-day relationship and rub.
How do you manage to never voice a critical word or analysis of something or someone? But what an ideal to aspire to!
Where do critical, negative thoughts and attitudes come from? Often from jealousy or our own feelings of inadequacy. I remember a time I criticized a young performer on TV and Mom said something like "Why are you so critical?"
Sometimes a tendency to be critical or negative just comes from our genetic make up I suppose, or life's experiences, or our own internal chemistry. Wherever it comes from, you can use "happy" thoughts to help turn that attitude around. Dwell on the positive, the possibilities, the beautiful experiences and memories.
And start your own list: picking up a daughter or son at the airport, a candle burning, fresh coffee or tea, tearing open a paycheck envelope, a houseful of sleeping family members, the holy hush when everyone quiets and a service of worship begins.
Contributed by Melodie Davis: [email protected] Melodie is the author of eight books and writes a syndicated newspaper column, Another Way
Have you heard of the book, 14,000 Things to be Happy About? The best-selling book by Barbara Ann Kipfer (Workman Publishing), is simply a 611-page list of one item after another of things she celebrates or brings to attention. They are small tiny things to bring a smile, as well as huge bigger things that can make a life-changing difference in how you look at life.
The cover calls it "mesmerizing" and it is; one wonders if there can possibly be anything that she has left out.
Here's a small sampling: hayrack rides, soft robes to settle into, trouser pockets chortling with change, fondue sets, the bus arriving on time and with empty seats, free makeup samples, dogs leaning against your legs, pink-cheeked faces in knit hats, the sense of promise inherent in the start of a new year, remembering when jeans were only for play, egg-in-the-hole and bacon, a tractor inner tube (to float on), a trout pond, playing kick the can, children at recess, bowling leagues.
It is interesting the memories or thoughts a list of this kind conjures up. Some are profound: the silence of close friendship, smile lines, a quiet observer, 100-watt eyes, saying yes, facing the truth.
Some instantly bring a smile: when your fingertips have shriveled to prunes, and you're clean enough to put on fresh pajamas. While we're on that topic, clean sheets have also got to be on that list, I'm sure. And licking off a dasher of homemade ice cream.
The book makes me think of a statement made recently at the memorial service of another dearly loved woman from our church. Some called Connie a saint (for putting up with the pastors while she served as secretary of the church). But the most remarkable thing I heard was Connie's daughter saying she never heard her mother criticize anyone, or say a critical word about them. I know my daughters would never be able to say that about me.
This daughter took care of her mother for the last couple years of her life in her own home, so this comment is particularly laudable: anyone who has ever done that knows how difficult but also how rewarding and close you become in that daily, 24-hour-a-day relationship and rub.
How do you manage to never voice a critical word or analysis of something or someone? But what an ideal to aspire to!
Where do critical, negative thoughts and attitudes come from? Often from jealousy or our own feelings of inadequacy. I remember a time I criticized a young performer on TV and Mom said something like "Why are you so critical?"
Sometimes a tendency to be critical or negative just comes from our genetic make up I suppose, or life's experiences, or our own internal chemistry. Wherever it comes from, you can use "happy" thoughts to help turn that attitude around. Dwell on the positive, the possibilities, the beautiful experiences and memories.
And start your own list: picking up a daughter or son at the airport, a candle burning, fresh coffee or tea, tearing open a paycheck envelope, a houseful of sleeping family members, the holy hush when everyone quiets and a service of worship begins.
Contributed by Melodie Davis: [email protected] Melodie is the author of eight books and writes a syndicated newspaper column, Another Way
