Forgiveness

[stanshall2003]

I appreciated the reply regarding my older brother. You stated "the devil had him" and I am supposed to pray for him. I have COPD and once he finds out, he will make a beeline to my place, since I live alone, to try to get e free place to stay and abuse me, like he did my parents. Where does it say I have to submit myself to future abuse from a family member? Where does his free will come in if the devil has deceived him and he willingly lives a life of wickedness? I am paraphrasing but didn't Paul, when he discovered a member was sleeping with his mother-in-law, tell the church to remove him and let him go to the devil? Do I not have the right to cut all ties to a brother who hates me and my other siblings guts?
And regarding salvation, I have heard radio ministers preach there are a lot of Christians who think they are saved who instead are going to hell. Is that also the devil at work? Or is this true?

 

[Gigiloveslife]

I used to believe that forgiveness meant you continue to take abuse and be a doormat and fake a good relationship as best you can. God has blown all those beliefs away for me now though.

The short answer is that I believe it is absolutely necessary to have boundaries to protect yourself from this kind of relationship. No, you do not need to let him live with you. It iis not your job to enable him. That is not loving for him or for yourself.

You will need a lot of wisdom as you navigate how to draw boundaries. So many things I could speak about here. If you want to hear more, I'll give more thoughts but I don't want to overwhelm you.

You will need to work on forgiveness which will be a process. Ask God to give
you His wisdom as you move forward and learn to forgive and love from a distance.

It sounds like a very painful situation.

 

[stanshall2003]

I thank all who took the time to read my thoughts. I know I can not change my brother. But with God nothing is impossible.

 

[Dave M]

I used to believe that forgiveness meant you continue to take abuse and be a doormat and fake a good relationship as best you can. God has blown all those beliefs away for me now though.

The short answer is that I believe it is absolutely necessary to have boundaries to protect yourself from this kind of relationship. No, you do not need to let him live with you. It iis not your job to enable him. That is not loving for him or for yourself.

You will need a lot of wisdom as you navigate how to draw boundaries. So many things I could speak about here. If you want to hear more, I'll give more thoughts but I don't want to overwhelm you.

You will need to work on forgiveness which will be a process. Ask God to give
you His wisdom as you move forward and learn to forgive and love from a distance.

It sounds like a very painful situation.

@Gigiloveslife this is about exactly what I was going to post after reading the OP I can so relate especially thinking I was supposed to be a door mat, and how God has let me what I believe to be the right way like you say boundaries for sure.

 

[leahmariepierce]

I used to believe that forgiveness meant you continue to take abuse and be a doormat and fake a good relationship as best you can. God has blown all those beliefs away for me now though.

The short answer is that I believe it is absolutely necessary to have boundaries to protect yourself from this kind of relationship. No, you do not need to let him live with you. It iis not your job to enable him. That is not loving for him or for yourself.

You will need a lot of wisdom as you navigate how to draw boundaries. So many things I could speak about here. If you want to hear more, I'll give more thoughts but I don't want to overwhelm you.

You will need to work on forgiveness which will be a process. Ask God to give
you His wisdom as you move forward and learn to forgive and love from a distance.

It sounds like a very painful situation.

I appreciated the reply regarding my older brother. You stated "the devil had him" and I am supposed to pray for him. I have COPD and once he finds out, he will make a beeline to my place, since I live alone, to try to get e free place to stay and abuse me, like he did my parents. Where does it say I have to submit myself to future abuse from a family member? Where does his free will come in if the devil has deceived him and he willingly lives a life of wickedness? I am paraphrasing but didn't Paul, when he discovered a member was sleeping with his mother-in-law, tell the church to remove him and let him go to the devil? Do I not have the right to cut all ties to a brother who hates me and my other siblings guts?
And regarding salvation, I have heard radio ministers preach there are a lot of Christians who think they are saved who instead are going to hell. Is that also the devil at work? Or is this true?

The main thing we must remember is to always help the poor and this includes sinners. Jesus wants you to help anyway you can. I promise you. You can show someone the right way to live by helping him or her out and being a beaken of light to truly reflect Jesus. We are here on earth to save as many people from hell as possible.