By: Jeanne Mayo
Some fascinating detective work conducted in a Wisconsin second-grade classroom offers insight into how youth leaders can create positive change in young people’s lives.
Two counselors in the back of a classroom recorded the behavior of the teacher and students. Every 10 seconds, the researchers recorded how many children were out of their seats. In every 20-minute period, at least one child was standing 360 times and the teacher was saying, “Sit down!” seven times. (That probably makes you feel better about any restless kids in your group.)
When the counselors suggested the teacher increase her commands to sit, it had a definite impact on students’ behavior—but in a negative way. Increased commands (27.5 times per 20-minute period) increased the negative behavior 50 percent. The more the teacher focused on negative behavior, the more constant it became.
Here’s the zinger: Near the end of the study, researchers asked the teacher to totally stop saying, “Sit down!” Instead, she quietly complimented children who stayed in their seats and worked. As a result, their roaming behavior decreased 33 percent, the most positive response of the entire experiment.
So what’s the takeaway for leaders of teenagers? People unconsciously increase whatever behavior gets them attention, even if it’s negative attention. Wise leaders train themselves to “catch” kids doing something positive and reinforce it with authentic encouragement.
Human nature, inside youth ministry and out, gravitates toward things that need improvement. And obviously, there’s a scriptural place for correction and discipline. But we give kids the emotional energy to change when we sincerely help them first know what they’re doing right. As Romans 2:4 says, God’s kindness leads us to change.
As I type this, I’m heading into my weekly youth service. Five minutes ago, I hugged a guy who came to us last year as a drug dealer. Tonight, he’s helping his small-group leader run a meeting. What spiritual formula was the catalyst for his transformation? His leader stuck with him, constantly telling him: “You’re amazing. Your life is meant to be more than this.” And those encouraging words drew out the best, helping to create that Christ-honoring reality.
All of us crave someone who believes in us, focuses on our strengths, and helps unleash the hero in our own lives. So get going—and start “drawing”! Lots of young people need your positive influence.
Some fascinating detective work conducted in a Wisconsin second-grade classroom offers insight into how youth leaders can create positive change in young people’s lives.
Two counselors in the back of a classroom recorded the behavior of the teacher and students. Every 10 seconds, the researchers recorded how many children were out of their seats. In every 20-minute period, at least one child was standing 360 times and the teacher was saying, “Sit down!” seven times. (That probably makes you feel better about any restless kids in your group.)
When the counselors suggested the teacher increase her commands to sit, it had a definite impact on students’ behavior—but in a negative way. Increased commands (27.5 times per 20-minute period) increased the negative behavior 50 percent. The more the teacher focused on negative behavior, the more constant it became.
Here’s the zinger: Near the end of the study, researchers asked the teacher to totally stop saying, “Sit down!” Instead, she quietly complimented children who stayed in their seats and worked. As a result, their roaming behavior decreased 33 percent, the most positive response of the entire experiment.
So what’s the takeaway for leaders of teenagers? People unconsciously increase whatever behavior gets them attention, even if it’s negative attention. Wise leaders train themselves to “catch” kids doing something positive and reinforce it with authentic encouragement.
Human nature, inside youth ministry and out, gravitates toward things that need improvement. And obviously, there’s a scriptural place for correction and discipline. But we give kids the emotional energy to change when we sincerely help them first know what they’re doing right. As Romans 2:4 says, God’s kindness leads us to change.
As I type this, I’m heading into my weekly youth service. Five minutes ago, I hugged a guy who came to us last year as a drug dealer. Tonight, he’s helping his small-group leader run a meeting. What spiritual formula was the catalyst for his transformation? His leader stuck with him, constantly telling him: “You’re amazing. Your life is meant to be more than this.” And those encouraging words drew out the best, helping to create that Christ-honoring reality.
All of us crave someone who believes in us, focuses on our strengths, and helps unleash the hero in our own lives. So get going—and start “drawing”! Lots of young people need your positive influence.
