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Finding love is hard.

Member
lol. I'm inpatient yes, but I want the right guy to come along! Alot of people have claimed to be the right one, but you have to love them right? I mean seriously, I would be miserable if a guy gave me everything in the world, and I didn't "love" him love him. I mean of course I would love him with compassion, but that's different. Then there are the guys that look sooooooo dreamy... and they are aweful! Then you have the control freaks, the eccentrics, the overly emotionals, the rebounds, the mysterious/boring ones... and I try to accept our differences, but they always expect me to change for them. If it's character flaws, then sure I will change them. But changing me is not going to happen. I'm just not willing to change for someone else. Nor do I expect someone to change for me. I guess that's the real problem. Guys that like me end up telling me later that they worship the ground I walk on. And they get so obsessed and all in my business 24/7. And then they say, "why don't you love me? I give you everything?" And I'm thinking.. well its not that I'm not grateful, but you're not the one I want "everything" from. There isn't a chemistry. It's so frustrating. And I don't think it's wrong not to love them. I don't expect my true love to be perfect. And I am sure he will drive me crazy. But I think that when you find the right one for you, you can sort of deal with imperfections and learn to love them. It's like the imperfections make them perfect. I think, a person is prepped for you by God, but I think he makes you compatible with others as well. I'm not sure about the whole soulmates belief. Then again I haven't really studied up on it either. lol. I just seem to recall a pastor saying that the belief of one soul being torn apart and seperated is a pagan belief. But like I said, I haven't researched it. I just hope that I find the right guy for me. A moral guy would be great. I hate it when guys pressure me to do immoral things with them. It makes them look so ugly in my eyes, no matter how attractive they may be. I think, this generation needs to focus on morality again. That way, even if we can't find love, our future generations can. lol. Anyway.. right guy? Wherever you may be... come find me soon ok? :embarasse
 
Member
Oh wow this thread is empty. Um, feel free to say whatever. I guess I'm not asking for advice, more like ranting. I'm sorry.
 
Member
Love takes time and is not always based on first impressions.

Love doesn't mean compromise of your walk with God but when you meet the person of your dreams, your heart softens and you do find your heart knitted to your true love.

Feelings can mislead but patience brings its reward in time.

I agree that a person is prepared for another as Jesus mentioned that it is God's plan that a man should leave his parents and meet a woman to become one.

God bless
 
Member
No need to Look!!

Hi SilentHero,I understand how you feel..but you do not need to "find"someone..realize that God does already have him picked out for you and you need to let him bring you together when it is His Timing!!If you search for someone it will not work and you may give into the wrong person God has for you.Ill share with you..after my husband died I told the Lord..I didnt need anyone as he is my husband and he is the one who fulfills me..but I also said I didnt want to grow old alone and Im very romantic and I want a husband to do his work and will with!!Well as plan as day he said to me "When you see him you will know him!!Well the next nt went to church and a woman I hadnt seen in a month called me over and said she had a dream(vision) of my next spirit filled hubby..and we are going to do Gods work together!!And he loved me dearly and we are gonna be so happy!!And she also explained what he looked like tall.dark and drop dead handsome!!Now..the Lord really knew me well,ha cause I do like taller dark men as thats the kind I always went for as I am very fair skinned(Irish).So thru the yrs I dated 2 men and the first one the Lord told me not to see him anymore and he wound up falling back into old life of drugs and died a year and half later!!Then tried dating again and the Lord told me to guard my heart!!And so soon after that the Lord showed me in the spirit I was "cheating" on the one he had for me!!So since then no looking!!And recently 3 poeple have confirmed in the spirit that my hubby is on his way!!Within this year,even months away I expect to meet him.So,its always Gods ways and Gods timing!!And I know I will know him as soon as I see him cause its by the spirit that we will know eachother.God is always in control if we obey!!And even if we dont..but you want him to bring that special one to you as he knows what you like,and it will be for His Glory!!Hope this helps!!GBU,Love,Sister.
 
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Member
I quite understand what you're going through.

Real love as always been difficult to find. It requires a lot of sacrifice, testing, patience, praying and watching.

Remember that even when two people love each other, they might still hurt themselves. Perfect love comes from God alone.

Try not to get desperate because wrong decisions are always made in situations like this.

Rely on God to help you see beyond the outward appearance

God bless
 
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Member
You have been given some really good advice.

I only had two relationships in all my life (not counting the one I have with God!). Both men I met online. One was a well a jerk and the other not. lol

The first guy, I didn't have sex with him, but it might as well have been :-S And then, months into the relationship he called it off. Saying, we were too far apart. He lived in Tennessee and I was in PA or Virginia.

Then, I saw that relationship for what it was. A big huge pile of trash. I decided then and there to not go searching for myself. I pretty much told God 'okay. I'm going to do this your way.' Lots of things happened. I forgive my grandfather of molesting me and I grew ever closer to God. (This was in 2001).

And then, as I grew closer to God, I was meeting some really fun people online in chatrooms. One night, I met this guy in PlusOne chat and we hit it off big time. He was far away, too. He was in Kentucky and I was in PA or in Virginia(at college). We prayed about our relationship. And...well in July of 2004, I married him.

See, God has a plan for all of us. No matter what we might do to sped it up. I would tell you, get in your secret place and spend time with God, the best matchmaker of all! Read your Bible, pray. God will talk to you and show you the way.

I hope my story shows how God works. No matter what happens though...God's timing is always best!

God knows what we need when we need it.
 
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Member
Hello Silenthero

I am a guy, but sorry not the right one. I am dreamy somewhat emotional and mysterious with out trying to be. I do have kind of a boring life. Have you ever felt love or been in love before? If so what was he like or what did you love about him? It sounds like you have had a lot of guys bent over you. I have found that I myself get turned off by girls that are vulnerable to love who cling to me or show desperation. It is funny because I have really had some strong feelings towards girls but once they get to pushy or show to much vulnerability towards me as in being to nice I start to freak out and I am totally turned off. I have also found that I usually like the girls I can't have or are a challenge it really kind of sucks. I think your best bet would be to try to develop a friendship with out any thoughts of dating, love or that special someone. Being friends and just hanging out being yourself with out that relationship, love pressure is a great way to find a true love. Keep praying to God about it and do not act out of desperation. If you feel like something is not right then something is wrong. Chemistry just happens. There is no real way to find It. God Bless you
 
Member
hello, silent hero:) let me clarify first that i am a married man so i am coming at this from the other side, so to speak.

speaking of relationships particularly beyond the bioligical ones i offer you a verse from Psalms: Psa 127:1 A Song of Ascents; of Solomon. Except Jehovah build the house, They labor in vain that build it: Except Jehovah keep the city, The watchman waketh but in vain.

i think this is a hard thing sometimes but i do believe that when we allow the Lord to build our relationships we will find ourselves totally satisfied. it is an amazing thing to realize that what God starts always seem to be kissed of the eternal to it. our parents are our parents for life. our children are our children for life. marriage is until death do us part. our friendships are not diminished by space nor time.

believe me, dear sister, Father does understand your longing. He put it there. now what is expected of you is to surrender it totally to Him. my advice is to stop dating period. forget playing the field. i say pray, believe, and follow Father. He will make sure you and your future love cross paths. He is God after all and He does do impossible things.

as to men in general, i are one (ha, ha). i say this to you. you, as a daughter, are very special and a priceless treasure. unless that man glows with the glory he ain't worth your time. the man Father has picked for you will be a man who first loves Him and, because of that, will know how to love you. forget the word 'chemistry' and think 'bond'. relationships in Him have an undefinable bond.

with all love in Christ,
your brother and servant, aristotle
 
Member
Love is

I hope this is of value for anyone looking for Mr. or Mrs. right!
Love is a fawn in the grass eating food from my hands.
Love is the one who will care for my every whim.
Love is that special soul mate who will whisk me off in his chariot with white horses. I hope you dont believe these first three sentences.

Hey I been married almost 30 years, let me tell you what love is.
Love is laying down ones rights for the other. (Does the other respond the same?)
Love is saying no to self and yes to your partner. (Is he or she manipulating that?)
Love is forgiving and forgiving and forgiving. (Is the other forgiving?)
Love is looking at the other persons feelings, and not yours. (Does the other look at just their feelings.)
Love is building the other person up. (Is the other taring you down?)
Love is building the other person up. (Is the other capable of building you up?)
Love is communicating what you are feeling in the inside. (Is the other communicating reality in a relationship to you?)

Ps. Love is giving and giving and giving for the future of ones marriage. (Not taking or taking or taking.)
I hope this is of value for anyone looking for Mr. or Mrs. right!
 
Member
I hope this is of value for anyone looking for Mr. or Mrs. right!
Love is a fawn in the grass eating food from my hands.
Love is the one who will care for my every whim.
Love is that special soul mate who will whisk me off in his chariot with white horses. I hope you dont believe these first three sentences.

Hey I been married almost 30 years, let me tell you what love is.
Love is laying down ones rights for the other. (Does the other respond the same?)
Love is saying no to self and yes to your partner. (Is he or she manipulating that?)
Love is forgiving and forgiving and forgiving. (Is the other forgiving?)
Love is looking at the other persons feelings, and not yours. (Does the other look at just their feelings.)
Love is building the other person up. (Is the other taring you down?)
Love is building the other person up. (Is the other capable of building you up?)
Love is communicating what you are feeling in the inside. (Is the other communicating reality in a relationship to you?)

Ps. Love is giving and giving and giving for the future of ones marriage. (Not taking or taking or taking.)
I hope this is of value for anyone looking for Mr. or Mrs. right!

Yeah, well I'm a good lookin 23 year old and I GIVE UP.!!!1!1!!!one!!1

The entire female population my age and around this area seemingly are Corrupt, and ungodly, and disbelieving! It's like I must unequally yoke myself in order to have a lover/wife, and I'm not about the unequally yoking part. It seems ImPoSsiBle to find a nice perty christian girl my age... IMPOSSIBLE... maybe i don't attend any churches *i dont) but still... I really wanted God to send me a good wife-figure, but honestly, it mustn't be in His will right now or something cuz I prayed and prayed and prayed since my last heartbreak over a year ago (was engaged and she left me), and nothing since... Hrmmmm, paul said it's better to not marry right? oh well, im burning in passion here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ok, im done, ty for listening.

thanx, bye.
 
Member
Yeah, well I'm a good lookin 23 year old and I GIVE UP.!!!1!1!!!one!!1

The entire female population my age and around this area seemingly are Corrupt, and ungodly, and disbelieving! It's like I must unequally yoke myself in order to have a lover/wife, and I'm not about the unequally yoking part. It seems ImPoSsiBle to find a nice perty christian girl my age... IMPOSSIBLE... maybe i don't attend any churches *i dont) but still... I really wanted God to send me a good wife-figure, but honestly, it mustn't be in His will right now or something cuz I prayed and prayed and prayed since my last heartbreak over a year ago (was engaged and she left me), and nothing since... Hrmmmm, paul said it's better to not marry right? oh well, im burning in passion here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ok, im done, ty for listening.

thanx, bye.
I feel your pain brother, I get hit on by women like that, while they might look nice I want nothing to do with them. I would like to find a good Christian girl with morals but it seems that its very rare these days, at least where I live.
 
Member
Sometimes you have to go farther than that. I met my husband online...in a Christian chat room. We celebrated our 5th wedding anniversary this past July.

If you burn with passion...as well men and women do...for a mate...then you are to get married. I believe that is what the Bible said.

God made man and woman. "A man will leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife." God does not see marriage as wrong, but as right.

Sadly, western culture thinks that If you get married...everything comes first...you first have to have this and that. Women now want careers and not husband and children. Family isn't important anymore.
 
Member
I feel your pain brother, I get hit on by women like that, while they might look nice I want nothing to do with them. I would like to find a good Christian girl with morals but it seems that its very rare these days, at least where I live.
exactly right! Glad another in my situation exists, although I'm not glad you feel as I do (lonely)!

Sometimes you have to go farther than that. I met my husband online...in a Christian chat room. We celebrated our 5th wedding anniversary this past July.

If you burn with passion...as well men and women do...for a mate...then you are to get married. I believe that is what the Bible said.

God made man and woman. "A man will leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife." God does not see marriage as wrong, but as right.

Sadly, western culture thinks that If you get married...everything comes first...you first have to have this and that. Women now want careers and not husband and children. Family isn't important anymore.
This is right-on. Someone even told me to go online and try, but I find that super superficial, I mean if you make A = 1, B= 2, and so on through the alphabet, then spell COMPUTER with the numbers, then add all the numbers, you get 666! lol, so why find a wife on there?! maybe im just superstitious and corrupted by the world on that one :p

But, yes, you are righton about the leaving the father and mother to cleave to a wife, I was soooo gonna do that a couple years ago, but the woman darned left meh... (for no good reason, she probably wanted to cheat on me again)

Sad too, left me right after I started believing in the Lord, if it weren't for my faith, I probably would've offed myself. (funny thing is, her name was faith, and she didn't believe, and thought i had gone crazy)

So yup, it was all for a reason, and now I must learn this long-suffering lesson as long as it takes! I still live with my father, can't afford to live on my own unless I had a wife to pay halves anyways...
 
Member
Well I was engaged once.. and he cheated and left me too.. than he tried to come back many times.. but I didnt feel God leading us together.. It was hard because my flesh wanted it.. but the best is yet to come!! I believe the same is true for you!! Work on your relationship with Christ.. He is your first love right maybe He wants you to stop looking at this world for love in this world but focus on His unfailing love!! I know it hard I have been loney too but the only Person who can fill that void is Christ.. He wants a personla relationship with each of His children.. Dont worry He is preparing your wife for you!! If a problem isint worth praying about it sure isnt worth worrying about so leave it all in Gods hands.. He has better plans for you than you have for yourself.. :)
 
Member
You know something, I get impatient too sometimes and it's sometimes hard to wait. But I've come to trust in God's plan, and that He provides the best for me all the time. Waiting is the hardest lesson to learn, but the best things are worth waiting for.
 
Member
While I've been married a long time, I think this thought might help you: Learn to live life one day at a time. If you spend a lot of time regretting yesterday and fretting about tomorrow, you'll blow right by today and the blessings God has packed into it for you.

SLE
 
Member
I totally agree with you, SLE. In fact, I learned that lesson not so long ago... that I've got to live one day at a time and trust in God's plan for my life. I've come to believe in the greater good and that God ultimately does the best. So, I keep in mind God's blessings of everyday and I know that they surpass my expectations.
 

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