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False Shame - March 15, 2007
Louis Kronenberger is quoted as saying, "One of the misfortunes of our time is that in getting rid of false shame we have killed off so much real shame as well."
What a tragic consequence of a liberated society. There's no longer any shame in divorce, so children of divorce are many and most consider it the most traumatic experience of their childhood, still dealing with the fallout as adults. There's no longer any shame in out-of-wedlock births, so young men continue to act irresponsibly, children grow up without fathers, and all of us pay for their upbringing through government programs supported by higher taxes. These fatherless children turn to crime in overwhelming proportions, also without shame.
A healthy dose of real shame would go a long way toward resolving some of these problems. But, lest we think of these examples as "things other people do," the greatest need for shame lies in the shame each of us needs to embrace for our own shortcomings. Today's purging of all feelings of shame and guilt so we can "feel better about ourselves" won't do when destructive actions and attitudes are allowed to continue unchecked, and sometimes even celebrated. There is an age old solution. Like shame, it's not very trendy to talk about nowadays but it may be just what you need.
Warren Kramer is the founding editor of Daily Wisdom and operates a graphic design service Warren Kramer&Associates, Warren Kramer & Associates | Visual Design for Print and Web, which offers visual design and illustration for printed communications, logos and corporate identities, web sites, signage and trade show displays.
Louis Kronenberger is quoted as saying, "One of the misfortunes of our time is that in getting rid of false shame we have killed off so much real shame as well."
What a tragic consequence of a liberated society. There's no longer any shame in divorce, so children of divorce are many and most consider it the most traumatic experience of their childhood, still dealing with the fallout as adults. There's no longer any shame in out-of-wedlock births, so young men continue to act irresponsibly, children grow up without fathers, and all of us pay for their upbringing through government programs supported by higher taxes. These fatherless children turn to crime in overwhelming proportions, also without shame.
A healthy dose of real shame would go a long way toward resolving some of these problems. But, lest we think of these examples as "things other people do," the greatest need for shame lies in the shame each of us needs to embrace for our own shortcomings. Today's purging of all feelings of shame and guilt so we can "feel better about ourselves" won't do when destructive actions and attitudes are allowed to continue unchecked, and sometimes even celebrated. There is an age old solution. Like shame, it's not very trendy to talk about nowadays but it may be just what you need.
Warren Kramer is the founding editor of Daily Wisdom and operates a graphic design service Warren Kramer&Associates, Warren Kramer & Associates | Visual Design for Print and Web, which offers visual design and illustration for printed communications, logos and corporate identities, web sites, signage and trade show displays.
