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Empty and Uncertain...

Discussion in 'Counseling' started by Melissa Chan, Oct 11, 2017.

  1. Hi my name is Melissa, i'm new to this forum.
    For sometime I've been feeling incredibly empty inside. I've been out of work for a year, and the prospects in my life seem small and dismal. I've been praying and asking and seeking God to help me, to speak with me, and it just feels like there's no answer.
    When i speak to Christian folk about this subject, they'll say that I'm weak, or i have little faith, then I'd explain anointment to them, how David was anointed and yet wasn't used until many years later. Sometimes I think it isn't my faith, but it's just God isn't ready yet. Yet i wonder why does it have to be this way, am I seriously not doing something - am i doing something wrong, is there a reason God just doesn't speak to me, as in me? Am i still the old man?
    I cry at nights so alone, so empty... and before someone here says iI dont have the right desires in my heart, please take a hint of humility and learn from the story of Job that even the most learned, and so called Christian of folk, can condemn and hurt. I imagine people don't come to the forums to be beaten up by other Christians, but to be shown a different perspective of what might be missing. For encouragement.
    I'm tired of wondering about tomorrow... the sorrow runs deep, and I'm only trying my best... i don't know what to do...
  2. God is not a magical genie that after rubbing a lamp will appear and grant you your wishes. Are you willing to take whatever jobs are available or are you looking for certain types of jobs? What type of education and work experience do you have? What country do you live in, and do you live in a small community or a larger one? Do you have a car for transportation or is there a dependable rail/buses available? What was your last job and why did you leave it? For practical advice, you will have to give details. If you just want prayer and no more, let us know.
  3. Welcome to the forum, Melissa!
    Consider the story of Joseph in the book of Genesis. He was his father's favorite as such he was greatly spoiled. His brothers hated him to the point where they contemplated murdering him and they did sell him into slavery. What awful thing did he do to deserve being a slave for 13 years? In spite of his abuse Joseph acknowledged God and God used him greatly. From slave he was elevated to the second greatest power in Egypt. After his father's death Joseph's brothers were afraid that Joseph would take vengeance on them for what they had done to them. This is the text of his reaction to them:

    "And Joseph said unto them, Fear not: for am I in the place of God?
    But as for you, ye thought evil against me; but God meant it unto good, to bring to pass, as it is this day, to save much people alive.
    Now therefore fear ye not: I will nourish you, and your little ones. And he comforted them, and spake kindly unto them." Gen 50:19-21

    God may not use you or reward you in this life as He did Joseph, but if you continue to be faithful through the difficulties, He will not forget you and He will eventually use you for "good". But let God be your Leader. As Jesus prayed for himself, so should you pray for yourself:

    "...O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt." Matt 26:39

    Your faith exists or you would not be here asking yet for help. As you say when God is ready He will use you... if you are still ready. Sometimes we have to go through things, difficult things as did Joseph and also Job and also David. The apostle Paul writes:

    "And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not." Gal 6:9

    The "old man" is still in all of us waiting for an opportunity to regain the dominion he had in our heart before we met Jesus. The old man of us wins battles because we allow it by admitting defeat and sitting back while he takes the lead. But consider what Jesus said here:

    "Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:
    For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened." Matt 7:7-8

    When you need help ask for it, but ask someone who is able to give it. God is always able. Ask of Him.

    James clarifies this for us here:

    "... ye have not, because ye ask not.
    Ye ask, and receive not, because ye ask amiss, that ye may consume it upon your lusts." James 4:2-3

    If you ask in the right Spirit for the right things, God will give you what you need. Remember that what you need is according what God defines as need, rather than any definition your "old man" or some other man may come up with...

    There are too many people, I believe, who take on the label of Christian who know little or even nothing of what the Christ, Jesus, is. This is unfortunate, but don't despair. Our God is able in spite of the rough places in the road and the times when seemingly no one hears you. God always hears sincere heart felt prayers. Don't get impatient and do not ever quit.

    What you do, is stay on the "highway of holiness".Keep your eyes on Jesus and if you should falter and look away long enough to stumble or fall, reach out to Him again asking for help. The struggle and the difficulty will be rewarded in the end... if you endure until the end with Him.

    I will be praying for you.
    Give God the glory!
    Melissa Chan likes this.
  4. Thank you Amadeus. I had no idea anyone would respond, but it's good to know i wasn't beaten to a pulp for my confession. I'm reminded so much of King David, that he wasn't perfect - he grieved, he cried, he was angry at God at times, but he loved God with all his heart. I love the Lord with all my heart. This spirit of emptiness has a way at times of stealing perspective of what is important, and i suppose we're fallible - hence when i am weak, he is made strong in me. I trailed off, thank you. I appreciate your words and the perspective. Bless you brother!

    amadeus2 likes this.
  5. To brother Brad Huber,
    Wow buddy, chill out! Did i make the supposition or assumption God was a genie? You made the implication but it's clearly your oversight. First off I'm very disappointed that that's the way you would approach treating someone whose broken. You're like a lawyer putting me on spot to answer all the questions, yet you don't possess the tact or rather don't know what it means to speak life. For once upon a time you too were lost but this tone, this paragraph does not reflect love, or hope. Don't worry, it is my pray i prayer for you more than you pray for me.

  6. Sorry. I try to be practical. Prayers always help, but helping "practically" is much better than just praying. You just werent offering a lot of info that would help in formulating a better reply,.. but you were asking for help. Soooo, I will say I will pray for you and leave it at that. Just not sure how you want to be helped. Again, sorry to offended you.
    Fragrant Grace likes this.
  7. Melissa I am surprised you were offended by Brad's post. There is a lot of truth to us applying ourselves.

    What are your opportunities there? Where do you live? What are your skills and interests?

    You seem to know scripture well so our options to help seem limited to only prayer and practical advice.
    Fragrant Grace likes this.
  8. Are you missing...Jesus? Sometimes it seems God hasn't answered us because we are totally ignoring His son.
    Jesus shows us the Father.

    My advice would be seek ye first the kingdom of God, and everything will be added unto you. He has a plan and purpose for you. Worrying about tomorrow andwhat we will eat and what we will wear is futile. God feeds the sparrows and clothes the lilies of the field, how much more does He care for you?

    There may be times when we are out of work..see that as aseason to study, or rest, or be closer to God. It might be we need to spend time with family. I dont know your situation...but see Jesus called his twelve disciples and they all left their jobs as fishermen to be trained up for the Kingdom. Jesus gave up his carpentry job to go about His Fathers business. The thing is you need to be seeking God for what it is He wants you to do, TODAY and that means getting to know Him. There is so much to learn from Him so get your eyes off youself and onto Jesus. He is going to fill you up. Rebuke that spirit of emptiness!

    God's spirit is HOLY! Not empty. You are the vessel waiting for Him to pour His love into. The thing is..are you a new wineskin...cos only new wine can be poured into a new skin not an old skin or it will burst. Sometimes fasting can help. Seek Him in your time of fasting and prayer. And remember...patience or long suffering is a fruit of the holy spirit. And fruits take time to develop.
    Sent from a mobile device
  9. Not to sound hmm, disrespectful, but how could you be surprised if you don't even know me?
    Of course there's application in practicality, and that's not something I can validate to a forum board - for clearly that's not the reason for my visit. It is interesting christian people require my back story in totality (or some semblence of) before they can administer effectively, which is what you're saying right? None the less Christ says come as you as, broken as you are, yet christian brothers and sisters require a foundation to work from, to administer love. Cool...

    thats for me to do, and I could say I've done it, bu
  10. You're approaching this like most black and white Christian thinkers. Your first assumption is to shoot at the faith - your assumption is, i'm missing Christ. Your second assumption is I need to draw closer, but I'd have no discrimination on that point because the more Christ in my life is better so thats cool. Then assessing me on the fact whether i am an old or new wineskin based on a plight in my life gives you the capacity to assume and then well, ask it.

    Let me ask you now. Do you know Jesus?
    What is Jesus' first commandment?
    And his second?
    What is the foundation of Christ church?

    I leave it there. Thank you for time.

  11. Lanolin, that's a very poor and unhelpful response. Read the Psalms. It is full of faithful people's struggles with despair and emptiness.

    No-one on this forum except the writer of the opening post has enough information to be handing out unsolicited advice. What is more, she has made it very clear that the advice given so far has been hurtful.

    Brad Huber was gracious enough to acknowledge quickly that his first post was clumsy, and

    Many, many faithful followers of Jesus - spiritual giants even - throughout history have gone through long periods of spiritual dryness, depression or emptiness or uncertainty. i have been through it myself and it was an agonising, soul-searching experience. God alone knows the reason why it comes and goes.

    I am grateful that when I was too weak and exhausted to walk the walk of faith, I had a few brothers and sisters who were willing to carry me. Prayer, compassion and gentle listening were a huge help. Well-intentioned advice felt like a kick in the teeth.
    Fragrant Grace likes this.
  12. #12 Lanolin, Oct 14, 2017
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 30, 2017
    The psalmist went to God and worshiped Him.

    He sang in psalm 51 create in me a clean heart, Oh lord and renew a right spirit in me.

    This is what im talking about. We need to go to God and be FILLED. Sometimes repentence is in order. I know myself. I have been throught it and depression is not of God. I had to renew my mind and not give in to self pity. We cant cast our burdens on to others and expect them to carry us..,we need to go to Jesus directly. As I was saying. He is the wellspring. He says anyone who is thirsty to come drink. This is encouragement, I dont know why anyone would refuse what Jesus says. i cannot force anyone to drink. But I can lead them to the water and say well, try it.

    Nobody is saying dont express your feelings. But you see fhe psalms always ended with worshipping and praising God. So praise Him. Even in your despair. It works it really does
    Sent from a mobile device
  13. O Lord, God of my salvation,
    I cry out day and night before you.
    Let my prayer come before you;
    incline your ear to my cry!
    For my soul is full of troubles,
    and my life draws near to Sheol.
    I am counted among those who go down to the pit;
    I am a man who has no strength,
    like one set loose among the dead,
    like the slain that lie in the grave,
    like those whom you remember no more,
    for they are cut off from your hand.
    You have put me in the depths of the pit,
    in the regions dark and deep.
    Your wrath lies heavy upon me,
    and you overwhelm me with all your waves.

    You have caused my companions to shun me;
    you have made me a horror to them.
    I am shut in so that I cannot escape;
    my eye grows dim through sorrow.
    Every day I call upon you, O Lord;
    I spread out my hands to you.
    Do you work wonders for the dead?
    Do the departed rise up to praise you?

    Is your steadfast love declared in the grave,
    or your faithfulness in Abaddon?
    Are your wonders known in the darkness,
    or your righteousness in the land of forgetfulness?
    But I, O Lord, cry to you;
    in the morning my prayer comes before you.
    O Lord, why do you cast my soul away?
    Why do you hide your face from me?
    Afflicted and close to death from my youth up,
    I suffer your terrors; I am helpless.
    Your wrath has swept over me;
    your dreadful assaults destroy me.
    They surround me like a flood all day long;
    they close in on me together.
    You have caused my beloved and my friend to shun me;
    my companions have become darkness.
    Fragrant Grace likes this.
  14. And what Psalm is that?
  15. Its assumed that Heman and Ethan were the authors of this psalm who were some really good singers associated with the temple. They helped others in their grief through song, but seemed unable to help themselves get out of the funk they were in. The psalm starts out with the acknowledgement that God is their salvation, but complains a lot after that. Not too many psalms were like this though, the bulk of them did end with praising God.
  16. Spiritual dryness and lack of money are different issues.

    The OP specified the latter first. This would lead to the prior. If she had a job earning good money I doubt there would be spiritual dryness.

    She needs practical business advice / donations more then prayers.

    Melissa, at my church we have helped many members with business ventures. Feel free to pm me or discuss it here if you want.

    Your spirituality is being tested, but I don't believe it is God's doing. I don't believe any of us are close to Job and will ever outside of our doing endure what he did.

  17. I am so sorry that your fellow "Christians" called you weak or one with little faith. How completely rude. I will say Melissa that what you are feeling is something that even the devout Christians feel at times. I'm so very sorry that you are going through such a tough time and I am praying that God brings you peace and strength. I have myself felt this way before and I find it helpful to surround myself with loving followers of Christ who will lift you up, rather then tare you down. Jesus knows your heart Melissa and he sees your pain. Let the Holy Spirit intercede and help you through this difficult time. Also I love listening to T.D. Jakes sermons when I'm feeing down. You can watch them on youtube:)
    Fragrant Grace likes this.
  18. Greetings brothers and sisters
    Greetings @Melissa Chan

    Im sadenned to see that this thread has become very harsh in places.
    A number of repsonses have been deleted.
    It reads more like a touchy disagreement at times.

    Now lets look at the title of the thread.....Empty and Uncertain

    Im fairly sure we have all been there at times
    And its not a nice place be spiritually.

    Melissa.....we have a God of hope.

    Today,, may you be rekindled with hope and joy in believing.

    Lord, make this verse real in Melissa's heart and fill her with hope

    May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.
    Romans. 15:13
    Brad Huber and Christ4Ever like this.
  19. Thank you my sister!
    I read the comments on this board and I've since gotten over my disposition of being fallible with regard to my emptiness. You see, I came here to be with a fellowship of Christians who would love me, looking exactly for what you've offered here. Sometimes it hurts, it really does and we come too harsh loaded with that absolution we know everything. There's this adage "most people do not listen with the intention to understand, they listen to reply". I felt hurt knowing this is what most did here on this forum.

    Sorry, i rambled, i simply meant to say thank you!

    Christ4Ever likes this.

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