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An old couple in their eighties are both written off in a serious car smash, and wake up to soft music and pastel colours.
"Where am I?" Cries the old man, alarmed.
"This is Heaven." Replies St. Peter. "You've both led good, wholesome, Christian lives. Welcome to the rest of eternity."
He looks out of the window and sees the most fantastic golf course ever.
"Wow! What are the green fees?" He asks.
"Nothing - this is Heaven. It never get's dark, so you can play till four in the morning, if that's your scene."
He wanders from room to room, until he stumbles upon the kitchen, piled high with cream cakes and peanut butter sandwiches. His mouth waters. Just as he's about to grab one, his wife gives him a sharp rap on the knuckles.
"Oh no you don't!" She admonishes him. "You've got to watch your cholestrol!"
St Peter rolls his eyes.
"Lady, you are dead! You have no heart, you have no cholestrol. You can stuff yourself full of cream cakes until they come out of your ears."
"Gee! Has it always been like this?"
"Of course."
The old man stopped eating his cream cake and glared across at his wife.
"You stupid, stupid woman! Here was I struggling along on some crummy pension. Had it not been for you and your health foods, I could have been up here enjoying myself twenty years ago!"
"Where am I?" Cries the old man, alarmed.
"This is Heaven." Replies St. Peter. "You've both led good, wholesome, Christian lives. Welcome to the rest of eternity."
He looks out of the window and sees the most fantastic golf course ever.
"Wow! What are the green fees?" He asks.
"Nothing - this is Heaven. It never get's dark, so you can play till four in the morning, if that's your scene."
He wanders from room to room, until he stumbles upon the kitchen, piled high with cream cakes and peanut butter sandwiches. His mouth waters. Just as he's about to grab one, his wife gives him a sharp rap on the knuckles.
"Oh no you don't!" She admonishes him. "You've got to watch your cholestrol!"
St Peter rolls his eyes.
"Lady, you are dead! You have no heart, you have no cholestrol. You can stuff yourself full of cream cakes until they come out of your ears."
"Gee! Has it always been like this?"
"Of course."
The old man stopped eating his cream cake and glared across at his wife.
"You stupid, stupid woman! Here was I struggling along on some crummy pension. Had it not been for you and your health foods, I could have been up here enjoying myself twenty years ago!"
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