Another of my plays I wrote in the '70s. However, I never performed in this one since I wrote it for the actresses, who were complaining about too few female roles.
DOOR TO DOOR
On a beautiful sunny Sunday afternoon, April Phoole, a new convert to her religion, is about to go on her first door to door missionary trip. Just to be sure, she rereads her instruction handbook as she approaches her first house. "Good morning sir or madam (whichever the case may be) I am (your name) from the first church of the Hari Kari. Can I interest you in a subscription to our weekly magazine (hold up copy) ‘Seppuku‘?" She closes the book and smiles. “Yeah. That can't be too hard.” She looks on the nameplate on the mail box. “Hmm. Sarah Bellum. That should make it easier. Talking to another woman.”
She rings the bell and wait’s a moment. Sarah opens the door. “Yes? May I help you?”
April is a bit more flustered than she thought that she would be as she rattles off her memorized lines. “Good morning sir or madam whichever the case may be I am your name from the First Church of the Hari Kari. Can I interest you in a subscription to our weekly magazine hold up copy ‘Seppuku‘?”
Sarah is momentarily confused. “Huh? Oh. No thank you. We are members of St. Francis A. Schaeffer Church.” She starts to close the door.
April corrects her. “But that's the wrong line. Didn't you read the handbook? You are supposed to say ‘That's an interesting looking magazine. What is it about‘?"
That confuses Sarah even more. She blinks, shakes her head, starts to close the door again, does a double take, then opens the door again. “Excuse me, but what church did you say you came from?”
April opens her mouth to answer, stops, opens her handbook again and starts reading. “Good morning sir or madam whichever the case may be I am your name from the First Church of the Hari Kari. There you are. The first Church of the Hari Kari.”
“Uh, that's Hari Kari, as in Japanese for ‘belly slashing‘?”
April is pleased. “Yes, that's right. Then you speak Japanese, huh?“
“Only a few words from Japanese cartoons.”
“Then you probably also caught that ‘Seppuku‘, our magazine's title, is Japanese for ritual suicide.”
“Yes I did, actually. May I ask why your church and magazine are named after ways of killing yourself?”
“Sure. That's because our glorious founder…” She stops for a thoughtful pause, finger on her lip. “Though come to think of it, he isn't really our founder. I mean, he didn't actually found our church, you know. He actually re-founded it since, it was the old, lost teachings he found, so he's really bringing it back to what it was supposed to be.”
“Oh, really? But you haven't said who he is yet.”
“Oh, I didn't? It was Pastor Prime, who found the lost doctrines of Christianity.”
“The lost doctrines of Christianity? I wasn't aware that any were lost. Did he find them through diligent
study of the scriptures?”
“Well, no. In fact he hardly studied them at all.”
“Ah. Was it through carefully comparing manuscripts in Hebrew and Greek, and notating variants?”
“No.”
“Was it from a newly discovered manuscript, like those Dead Sea Scrolls?”
“Oh, no.”
“I do like a good game of twenty questions. Was it revealed to him by the Holy Spirit?”
“I don't think so.”
“All right, you got me. Then how, pray tell, did he come up with them?”
“That's exactly how.”
“What's exactly how?”
“Pray tell. He prayed, and then he was told.”
“Oh good. Now we are getting somewhere. Prayed? And was told what by who?”
“Yes. One day he became concerned over which church he should join. So he went out to a field and prayed.”
“Hmm. That sounds familiar.”
“As he prayed, the clouds parted, and the sun shone forth a beam of light, hitting him like a spotlight. A voice came from the sky ‘No, No, dummy! Don't join any of them‘!"
“It's like Deja Vu all over again. I know I've heard this before.”
“Then an angel came down from heaven bearing gold plates…”
“Oh now I know where I heard it. Tell me. These gold plates. They were covered with previously unheard of scriptures written in a previously unknown language, like say, reformed pidgin Swahili, which Pastor Prime translated by staring at them through a magic stone?”
“Huh? No. Where did you get a silly idea like that?”
“Heh. My mistake. It's just that I heard a story somewhat like that long ago.”
“Sounds silly to me.”
“Well, if these gold plates didn't contain scriptures, what did they contain?”
“Lunch, of course. What else would you have on gold plates?”
“Sorry I asked. Do continue, please.”
“The angel brought Pastor Prime lunch, and they ate together, and then the angel returned to heaven.”
“Taking the plates back to heaven with him?”
“No.”
“No? Then Pastor Prime still has the plates?”
“Oh no, not any more.”
“What happened? Surely the plates would be valuable evidence to prove his having heard the voice and meeting the angel.”
“True. That would really be good proof. But you know how expensive it is to start a church and a magazine these days.”
“So what happened to the plates?”
“He hocked them in a pawn shop in Cleveland.”
“Really? So all you have to do is go to Cleveland and see the plates there?”
“Well, you can't now.”
Sarah raised a suspicious eyebrow. “Why not?”
“Because the pawn shop burned to the ground two days later, destroying all trace of the gold plates.”
“How convenient - uh. I mean, how sad.”
“Yes. Pastor Prime thinks it was the work of the enemy.”
“You mean Lucifer, the Devil?”
“No. Pastor Present of the First Church of the Fridgidaire. He just can't stand the idea of any one getting more popular than him.”
“From what I have heard of him, that would fit his character. Well, you said that after he prayed, someone told him what these lost doctrines were.”
“Yes I did. During lunch the angel told them to him.”
“And what were these doctrines the angel gave to him?”
“That once we are baptized and our are sins removed, we must live lives of sinless perfection. Since every one sins now and then, the only solution is to kill yourself right after baptism so you can avoid sinning and thus polluting yourself, losing your salvation. Say, this month's Seppuku has a special 16 page full color spread on ritual disembowlments.” April opens the magazine to a two page spread showing intestines, spleens and livers falling out of those doing Seppuku. “Doesn't that just send your heart pounding and your pulse racing?”
Sarah starts turning green. “Org!” She slams the magazine shut. “No, but it does set my head throbbing and my stomach churning. That can't be right!”
“Oh yes it can! Allow me to prove you wrong, with this selection of scriptures compiled by Pastor Prime. ‘Then an expert in Moses' Teachings stood up to test Jesus. He asked “What must I do to inherit eternal life?” Jesus answered him, “What is written in Moses' Teachings? What do you read there?” As Moses teachings tell us, blood was used to cleanse almost everything, because if no blood is shed, no sins can be forgiven. So Saul took the sword and fell on it. When the armor bearer saw that Saul was dead, he also fell on his sword and died with him. Ahitophel saddled his donkey, left and went home to his own city. He gave instructions to his family. Then he hanged himself, died, and was buried in his father's tomb. Hadad heard in Egypt that David had lain down in death with his ancestors, and that Joab, the commander of the army had died. The Lord said, “If you will do all I command you, follow my ways, and do what I consider right by obeying my laws and commands as my servant David did, then I will be with you.” The man replied, “Teacher, I've obeyed these commandments since I was a boy.” Jesus looked at him and loved him. He told him, “You're still missing one thing. Sell everything you have. Give the money to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then follow me.” Then Jesus loudly cried out once again and gave up his life. So Judas threw the money into the temple, went away and hanged himself. Then God looked over all, and He saw that it was excellent in every way.’ Luke 10:25-26, Hebrews 9:22, 1 Samuel 31:4-5, 2 Samuel 17:23, 1 Kings 11:21 & 37-38, Mark 10:20, Matthew 27: 50 & 5, Genesis 1:31.”
“Woof! You're kidding!”
“Do I look like I'm kidding? Hebrews 9:22 says that without the shedding of blood there can be no forgiveness of sin!” She pulls out a short sword from a sheath that Sarah hadn‘t noticed. “And I am more than willing, at a moment's notice, to shed my blood!”
“Please! Not on my new welcome mat! People might get the wrong idea. Now please calm down. I don't doubt your sincerity. I'm sure you really and truly believe this with all your heart and, uh, mmm, mind. But you could be mistaken in your acceptance of these doctrines.”
“How can I be? I read you the Bible quotes, and it was delivered direct to Pastor Prime by an angel. How can you get more sure than that?”
“Well, you know, St. Paul says in Galatians... Hold on a second.” Sarah ducks inside for a second, and returns with her Bible. “Yeah, here we go, Galatians 1:6-8. “I'm surprised that you're so quickly deserting Christ, who called you in his kindness, to follow a different kind of good news. But what some people are calling good news is not really good news at all They are confusing you. They want to distort the Good News about Christ. Whoever tells you good news that is different from the Good News we gave you should be condemned to hell, even if he is one of us or an angel from heaven.’
“How can he say that? Surely you can trust an angel, can't you?”
“Some you can but others you can't.”
“How can you say that?”
“Because some of them are fallen angels, like Lucifer.”
“Well I think that I should easily be able to tell a demon from an angel.”
“Can you? 2 Corinthians 11:14-15. ‘And no wonder, even Satan disguises himself as an angel of light. So it's not surprising if his servants also disguise themselves as servants who have God's approval. In the end they will get what they deserve.’ So it's not really so very obvious, is it?”
“All right then, how do you tell?”
“Here you are. 1 John 4:1-3 "Dear friends don't believe all people who say that they have the Spirit. Instead, test them. See whether the spirit they have is from God, because there are many false prophets in the world. This is how you can recognize God's Spirit: every person who declares that Jesus Christ has come as a human has the Spirit that is from God. But every person who doesn't declare that Jesus Christ has come as a human has a spirit that isn't from God. This is the spirit of the antichrist that that you have heard is coming. That spirit is already in the world."
“I'm not sure about that one. Pastor Prime hasn't really spoken much on that subject, as far as I know.”
“Why don't we do like the people in Berea?”
“Who?”
“In Acts 17:10-12. ‘When Paul and Silas arrived in the city of Berea, they entered the synagogue. The people of Berea were more open-minded than the people of Thessalonica. They were very willing to receive God's message, and every day they examined the scriptures to see if what Paul said was true. Many of them became believers, and quite a number of them were prominent Greek men and women.’ Why don't we do like the Bereans and examine those Scriptures to see that he is using them correctly?”
“How can he possibly misuse them? He didn't make them up or rewrite them.”
“Humor me, and lets take a look anyway. What was that first one?”
“Luke 10:25-26.”
"Then an expert in Moses' Teachings stood up to test Jesus. He asked What must I do to inherit eternal life?' Jesus answered him, 'What is written in Moses' Teachings? What do you read there'?"
“There, see? That's exactly right.”
“No, that's exactly wrong.”
“Huh?”
“Because he skips off to Hebrews without giving the Lawyer's answer to Jesus' question.”
“Huh? But isn't it ‘Without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness of sin‘?"
“No, it isn't. Lets read the next two verses, 10:27-28 where the Lawyer answers that question. ‘He answered 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul with all your strength and with all your mind. And love your neighbor as your self.' Jesus told him 'You're right! Do this and life will be yours'."
“No blood?”
“Not in those verses. Now lets look at Hebrews 9:22. ‘As Moses teachings tell us, blood was used to cleanse almost everything, because if no blood is shed, no sins can be forgiven‘."
“There, see? No blood shed, no forgiveness.”
“Try reading the whole chapter. What you will find is that it is comparing Jesus' blood shed on the cross with the blood of the lambs, cattle and other animals shed in the Old Testament sacrifices. Your blood isn't mentioned at all.”
“Oh. What about Saul falling on his sword?”
“Lets look. 1 Samuel 31:4-5 ‘So Saul took the sword and fell on it. When the armor bearer saw that Saul was dead, he also fell on his sword and died with him.’ That happened at the battle of Mount Gilboa, which was 1,000 years before Jesus was born. King Saul can't possibly be falling on his sword in response to Jesus' words, if he died so long before Jesus spoke it.. If you read the whole chapter, you will learn that he is committing suicide to avoid torture and mutilation when he lost the battle.”
“Oh. How about Ahitophel?”
“Pastor Prime doesn't quote the whole verse there. Once again he ignores the context of what is happening at the time. 2 Samuel 17:23 ‘When Ahitophel saw that his advice hadn't been followed, he saddled his donkey, left and went home to his own city. He gave instructions to his family. Then he hanged himself, died, and was buried in his father's tomb.’ Ahitophel had given advice to Prince Absalom when he rebelled against his father King David. When Absalom didn't follow that advice, Ahitophel knew that the rebel's cause was lost, and committed suicide in despair. Again nothing to do with dying for sins.”
“I think I see where this is going. So the next verse, 1 Kings 11:21, does the same thing?”
“Could very well be. But as the saying goes; ‘we never guess, we look it up‘. Lets see. ‘When Hadad heard in Egypt that David had lain down in death with his ancestors, and that Joab, the commander of the army had died, he said to Pharaoh “let me go to my own country“.’ Yes, you're right. Joab was executed by King Solomon and King David died of old age. Neither committed suicide to get their sins forgiven.”
“What about the next part, 1 Kings 11:37-38?”
“Ah. He only quotes part of that passage. ‘I will choose you so that you can rule everything you desire. You will be king of Israel. If you will do all I command you, follow my ways, and do what I consider right by obeying my laws and commands as my servant David did, then I will be with you. I will build a permanent dynasty for you as I did for David. And I will give you Israel. I will make David's descendants suffer for this, but not always.’ This is what God tells Jeroboam, who He is going to make the first king of the new northern Kingdom of Israel. Then the next part, for no particular reason, goes back to the conversation of Jesus and the young man. Where once again Pastor Prime only quotes part of the verse. Mark 10:20 "The man replied, 'Teacher, I've obeyed these commandments since I was a boy.' Jesus looked at him and loved him. He told him, “You're still missing one thing. Sell everything you have. Give the money to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then follow me“.’ Lets save the next verse for last.”
“Why is that?”
“You'll see. Meanwhile, lets look at Matthew 27:3-5 ‘Then Judas, who had betrayed Jesus, regretted what had happened when he saw that Jesus was condemned. He brought the 30 silver coins back to the chief priests and leaders. He said, “I've sinned by betraying an innocent man.” They replied, “what do we care? That's your problem.” So Judas threw the money into the temple, went away and hanged himself.’ Judas not only didn't follow Jesus' instructions, he betrayed him, and then killed himself in despair.”
“Yeah, that's right.’
“Now for Genesis 1:31. ‘God looked over all he had made, and He saw that it was excellent in every way. This all happened on the sixth day.’ Which if you will recall was before Adam and Eve had committed the Original Sin. God couldn't have been commenting on people committing suicide for their sins, if no one had sinned yet.”
“You got a point there. But what about this last verse? You've run out of other verses to talk about. So lets see you hit this one.”
“Alright. Matthew 27:50 ‘Then Jesus loudly cried out once again and gave up his life.’ Notice that Jesus is saying this while He is dying on the Cross. No one has ever found a way to commit suicide by crucifixion.”
“True. Kinda hard to hammer nails into both of your own hands. But He is shedding His blood for the forgiveness of sins.”
“That's absolutely right! Jesus died for the sins of all of mankind. That way no one else ever has to. Tell you what. Why not come in, and we can have some tea and cookies, and discuss it in greater detail.”
“Hmm. OK.”
“Though I do have one request to make of you first.”
“What's that?”
“Please leave that sword outside. It's making me nervous.”
“Oh. OK.” April drops the sword, and they enter the house.
DOOR TO DOOR
On a beautiful sunny Sunday afternoon, April Phoole, a new convert to her religion, is about to go on her first door to door missionary trip. Just to be sure, she rereads her instruction handbook as she approaches her first house. "Good morning sir or madam (whichever the case may be) I am (your name) from the first church of the Hari Kari. Can I interest you in a subscription to our weekly magazine (hold up copy) ‘Seppuku‘?" She closes the book and smiles. “Yeah. That can't be too hard.” She looks on the nameplate on the mail box. “Hmm. Sarah Bellum. That should make it easier. Talking to another woman.”
She rings the bell and wait’s a moment. Sarah opens the door. “Yes? May I help you?”
April is a bit more flustered than she thought that she would be as she rattles off her memorized lines. “Good morning sir or madam whichever the case may be I am your name from the First Church of the Hari Kari. Can I interest you in a subscription to our weekly magazine hold up copy ‘Seppuku‘?”
Sarah is momentarily confused. “Huh? Oh. No thank you. We are members of St. Francis A. Schaeffer Church.” She starts to close the door.
April corrects her. “But that's the wrong line. Didn't you read the handbook? You are supposed to say ‘That's an interesting looking magazine. What is it about‘?"
That confuses Sarah even more. She blinks, shakes her head, starts to close the door again, does a double take, then opens the door again. “Excuse me, but what church did you say you came from?”
April opens her mouth to answer, stops, opens her handbook again and starts reading. “Good morning sir or madam whichever the case may be I am your name from the First Church of the Hari Kari. There you are. The first Church of the Hari Kari.”
“Uh, that's Hari Kari, as in Japanese for ‘belly slashing‘?”
April is pleased. “Yes, that's right. Then you speak Japanese, huh?“
“Only a few words from Japanese cartoons.”
“Then you probably also caught that ‘Seppuku‘, our magazine's title, is Japanese for ritual suicide.”
“Yes I did, actually. May I ask why your church and magazine are named after ways of killing yourself?”
“Sure. That's because our glorious founder…” She stops for a thoughtful pause, finger on her lip. “Though come to think of it, he isn't really our founder. I mean, he didn't actually found our church, you know. He actually re-founded it since, it was the old, lost teachings he found, so he's really bringing it back to what it was supposed to be.”
“Oh, really? But you haven't said who he is yet.”
“Oh, I didn't? It was Pastor Prime, who found the lost doctrines of Christianity.”
“The lost doctrines of Christianity? I wasn't aware that any were lost. Did he find them through diligent
study of the scriptures?”
“Well, no. In fact he hardly studied them at all.”
“Ah. Was it through carefully comparing manuscripts in Hebrew and Greek, and notating variants?”
“No.”
“Was it from a newly discovered manuscript, like those Dead Sea Scrolls?”
“Oh, no.”
“I do like a good game of twenty questions. Was it revealed to him by the Holy Spirit?”
“I don't think so.”
“All right, you got me. Then how, pray tell, did he come up with them?”
“That's exactly how.”
“What's exactly how?”
“Pray tell. He prayed, and then he was told.”
“Oh good. Now we are getting somewhere. Prayed? And was told what by who?”
“Yes. One day he became concerned over which church he should join. So he went out to a field and prayed.”
“Hmm. That sounds familiar.”
“As he prayed, the clouds parted, and the sun shone forth a beam of light, hitting him like a spotlight. A voice came from the sky ‘No, No, dummy! Don't join any of them‘!"
“It's like Deja Vu all over again. I know I've heard this before.”
“Then an angel came down from heaven bearing gold plates…”
“Oh now I know where I heard it. Tell me. These gold plates. They were covered with previously unheard of scriptures written in a previously unknown language, like say, reformed pidgin Swahili, which Pastor Prime translated by staring at them through a magic stone?”
“Huh? No. Where did you get a silly idea like that?”
“Heh. My mistake. It's just that I heard a story somewhat like that long ago.”
“Sounds silly to me.”
“Well, if these gold plates didn't contain scriptures, what did they contain?”
“Lunch, of course. What else would you have on gold plates?”
“Sorry I asked. Do continue, please.”
“The angel brought Pastor Prime lunch, and they ate together, and then the angel returned to heaven.”
“Taking the plates back to heaven with him?”
“No.”
“No? Then Pastor Prime still has the plates?”
“Oh no, not any more.”
“What happened? Surely the plates would be valuable evidence to prove his having heard the voice and meeting the angel.”
“True. That would really be good proof. But you know how expensive it is to start a church and a magazine these days.”
“So what happened to the plates?”
“He hocked them in a pawn shop in Cleveland.”
“Really? So all you have to do is go to Cleveland and see the plates there?”
“Well, you can't now.”
Sarah raised a suspicious eyebrow. “Why not?”
“Because the pawn shop burned to the ground two days later, destroying all trace of the gold plates.”
“How convenient - uh. I mean, how sad.”
“Yes. Pastor Prime thinks it was the work of the enemy.”
“You mean Lucifer, the Devil?”
“No. Pastor Present of the First Church of the Fridgidaire. He just can't stand the idea of any one getting more popular than him.”
“From what I have heard of him, that would fit his character. Well, you said that after he prayed, someone told him what these lost doctrines were.”
“Yes I did. During lunch the angel told them to him.”
“And what were these doctrines the angel gave to him?”
“That once we are baptized and our are sins removed, we must live lives of sinless perfection. Since every one sins now and then, the only solution is to kill yourself right after baptism so you can avoid sinning and thus polluting yourself, losing your salvation. Say, this month's Seppuku has a special 16 page full color spread on ritual disembowlments.” April opens the magazine to a two page spread showing intestines, spleens and livers falling out of those doing Seppuku. “Doesn't that just send your heart pounding and your pulse racing?”
Sarah starts turning green. “Org!” She slams the magazine shut. “No, but it does set my head throbbing and my stomach churning. That can't be right!”
“Oh yes it can! Allow me to prove you wrong, with this selection of scriptures compiled by Pastor Prime. ‘Then an expert in Moses' Teachings stood up to test Jesus. He asked “What must I do to inherit eternal life?” Jesus answered him, “What is written in Moses' Teachings? What do you read there?” As Moses teachings tell us, blood was used to cleanse almost everything, because if no blood is shed, no sins can be forgiven. So Saul took the sword and fell on it. When the armor bearer saw that Saul was dead, he also fell on his sword and died with him. Ahitophel saddled his donkey, left and went home to his own city. He gave instructions to his family. Then he hanged himself, died, and was buried in his father's tomb. Hadad heard in Egypt that David had lain down in death with his ancestors, and that Joab, the commander of the army had died. The Lord said, “If you will do all I command you, follow my ways, and do what I consider right by obeying my laws and commands as my servant David did, then I will be with you.” The man replied, “Teacher, I've obeyed these commandments since I was a boy.” Jesus looked at him and loved him. He told him, “You're still missing one thing. Sell everything you have. Give the money to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then follow me.” Then Jesus loudly cried out once again and gave up his life. So Judas threw the money into the temple, went away and hanged himself. Then God looked over all, and He saw that it was excellent in every way.’ Luke 10:25-26, Hebrews 9:22, 1 Samuel 31:4-5, 2 Samuel 17:23, 1 Kings 11:21 & 37-38, Mark 10:20, Matthew 27: 50 & 5, Genesis 1:31.”
“Woof! You're kidding!”
“Do I look like I'm kidding? Hebrews 9:22 says that without the shedding of blood there can be no forgiveness of sin!” She pulls out a short sword from a sheath that Sarah hadn‘t noticed. “And I am more than willing, at a moment's notice, to shed my blood!”
“Please! Not on my new welcome mat! People might get the wrong idea. Now please calm down. I don't doubt your sincerity. I'm sure you really and truly believe this with all your heart and, uh, mmm, mind. But you could be mistaken in your acceptance of these doctrines.”
“How can I be? I read you the Bible quotes, and it was delivered direct to Pastor Prime by an angel. How can you get more sure than that?”
“Well, you know, St. Paul says in Galatians... Hold on a second.” Sarah ducks inside for a second, and returns with her Bible. “Yeah, here we go, Galatians 1:6-8. “I'm surprised that you're so quickly deserting Christ, who called you in his kindness, to follow a different kind of good news. But what some people are calling good news is not really good news at all They are confusing you. They want to distort the Good News about Christ. Whoever tells you good news that is different from the Good News we gave you should be condemned to hell, even if he is one of us or an angel from heaven.’
“How can he say that? Surely you can trust an angel, can't you?”
“Some you can but others you can't.”
“How can you say that?”
“Because some of them are fallen angels, like Lucifer.”
“Well I think that I should easily be able to tell a demon from an angel.”
“Can you? 2 Corinthians 11:14-15. ‘And no wonder, even Satan disguises himself as an angel of light. So it's not surprising if his servants also disguise themselves as servants who have God's approval. In the end they will get what they deserve.’ So it's not really so very obvious, is it?”
“All right then, how do you tell?”
“Here you are. 1 John 4:1-3 "Dear friends don't believe all people who say that they have the Spirit. Instead, test them. See whether the spirit they have is from God, because there are many false prophets in the world. This is how you can recognize God's Spirit: every person who declares that Jesus Christ has come as a human has the Spirit that is from God. But every person who doesn't declare that Jesus Christ has come as a human has a spirit that isn't from God. This is the spirit of the antichrist that that you have heard is coming. That spirit is already in the world."
“I'm not sure about that one. Pastor Prime hasn't really spoken much on that subject, as far as I know.”
“Why don't we do like the people in Berea?”
“Who?”
“In Acts 17:10-12. ‘When Paul and Silas arrived in the city of Berea, they entered the synagogue. The people of Berea were more open-minded than the people of Thessalonica. They were very willing to receive God's message, and every day they examined the scriptures to see if what Paul said was true. Many of them became believers, and quite a number of them were prominent Greek men and women.’ Why don't we do like the Bereans and examine those Scriptures to see that he is using them correctly?”
“How can he possibly misuse them? He didn't make them up or rewrite them.”
“Humor me, and lets take a look anyway. What was that first one?”
“Luke 10:25-26.”
"Then an expert in Moses' Teachings stood up to test Jesus. He asked What must I do to inherit eternal life?' Jesus answered him, 'What is written in Moses' Teachings? What do you read there'?"
“There, see? That's exactly right.”
“No, that's exactly wrong.”
“Huh?”
“Because he skips off to Hebrews without giving the Lawyer's answer to Jesus' question.”
“Huh? But isn't it ‘Without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness of sin‘?"
“No, it isn't. Lets read the next two verses, 10:27-28 where the Lawyer answers that question. ‘He answered 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul with all your strength and with all your mind. And love your neighbor as your self.' Jesus told him 'You're right! Do this and life will be yours'."
“No blood?”
“Not in those verses. Now lets look at Hebrews 9:22. ‘As Moses teachings tell us, blood was used to cleanse almost everything, because if no blood is shed, no sins can be forgiven‘."
“There, see? No blood shed, no forgiveness.”
“Try reading the whole chapter. What you will find is that it is comparing Jesus' blood shed on the cross with the blood of the lambs, cattle and other animals shed in the Old Testament sacrifices. Your blood isn't mentioned at all.”
“Oh. What about Saul falling on his sword?”
“Lets look. 1 Samuel 31:4-5 ‘So Saul took the sword and fell on it. When the armor bearer saw that Saul was dead, he also fell on his sword and died with him.’ That happened at the battle of Mount Gilboa, which was 1,000 years before Jesus was born. King Saul can't possibly be falling on his sword in response to Jesus' words, if he died so long before Jesus spoke it.. If you read the whole chapter, you will learn that he is committing suicide to avoid torture and mutilation when he lost the battle.”
“Oh. How about Ahitophel?”
“Pastor Prime doesn't quote the whole verse there. Once again he ignores the context of what is happening at the time. 2 Samuel 17:23 ‘When Ahitophel saw that his advice hadn't been followed, he saddled his donkey, left and went home to his own city. He gave instructions to his family. Then he hanged himself, died, and was buried in his father's tomb.’ Ahitophel had given advice to Prince Absalom when he rebelled against his father King David. When Absalom didn't follow that advice, Ahitophel knew that the rebel's cause was lost, and committed suicide in despair. Again nothing to do with dying for sins.”
“I think I see where this is going. So the next verse, 1 Kings 11:21, does the same thing?”
“Could very well be. But as the saying goes; ‘we never guess, we look it up‘. Lets see. ‘When Hadad heard in Egypt that David had lain down in death with his ancestors, and that Joab, the commander of the army had died, he said to Pharaoh “let me go to my own country“.’ Yes, you're right. Joab was executed by King Solomon and King David died of old age. Neither committed suicide to get their sins forgiven.”
“What about the next part, 1 Kings 11:37-38?”
“Ah. He only quotes part of that passage. ‘I will choose you so that you can rule everything you desire. You will be king of Israel. If you will do all I command you, follow my ways, and do what I consider right by obeying my laws and commands as my servant David did, then I will be with you. I will build a permanent dynasty for you as I did for David. And I will give you Israel. I will make David's descendants suffer for this, but not always.’ This is what God tells Jeroboam, who He is going to make the first king of the new northern Kingdom of Israel. Then the next part, for no particular reason, goes back to the conversation of Jesus and the young man. Where once again Pastor Prime only quotes part of the verse. Mark 10:20 "The man replied, 'Teacher, I've obeyed these commandments since I was a boy.' Jesus looked at him and loved him. He told him, “You're still missing one thing. Sell everything you have. Give the money to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then follow me“.’ Lets save the next verse for last.”
“Why is that?”
“You'll see. Meanwhile, lets look at Matthew 27:3-5 ‘Then Judas, who had betrayed Jesus, regretted what had happened when he saw that Jesus was condemned. He brought the 30 silver coins back to the chief priests and leaders. He said, “I've sinned by betraying an innocent man.” They replied, “what do we care? That's your problem.” So Judas threw the money into the temple, went away and hanged himself.’ Judas not only didn't follow Jesus' instructions, he betrayed him, and then killed himself in despair.”
“Yeah, that's right.’
“Now for Genesis 1:31. ‘God looked over all he had made, and He saw that it was excellent in every way. This all happened on the sixth day.’ Which if you will recall was before Adam and Eve had committed the Original Sin. God couldn't have been commenting on people committing suicide for their sins, if no one had sinned yet.”
“You got a point there. But what about this last verse? You've run out of other verses to talk about. So lets see you hit this one.”
“Alright. Matthew 27:50 ‘Then Jesus loudly cried out once again and gave up his life.’ Notice that Jesus is saying this while He is dying on the Cross. No one has ever found a way to commit suicide by crucifixion.”
“True. Kinda hard to hammer nails into both of your own hands. But He is shedding His blood for the forgiveness of sins.”
“That's absolutely right! Jesus died for the sins of all of mankind. That way no one else ever has to. Tell you what. Why not come in, and we can have some tea and cookies, and discuss it in greater detail.”
“Hmm. OK.”
“Though I do have one request to make of you first.”
“What's that?”
“Please leave that sword outside. It's making me nervous.”
“Oh. OK.” April drops the sword, and they enter the house.
