Don't know what to do..

[julesb65]

I'm engaged to a man who has never been married or has had a very serious relationship in his 46 years of life. I love him very much. We met at church and are both very active in our church community and our congregation are so happy and in full support of our engagement.

The problem is that lately I've been questioning our relationship.

He can be very critical, and insensitive to me and my son, but is very generous and a great provider. At other times very loving and encouraging. I have been diagnosed with clinical depression and I am taking medication for this, so sometimes I worry, that this is all my fault. Maybe I'm making to big of deal out of nothing. Maybe it's my fault.

I feel like I'm on a roller coaster. It's either really high, or really low and it's going very, very fast, and I'm freaking out. I honestly just want to crawl into my bed and stay there forever.

Please lift my family up.....

 

[Brighthouse]

Before I usually write,I check the profile of the one I am writing to,I do this because, most of the time, the Lord shows me things from a persons profile,words unspoken. I myself do not have full knowledge of any!I know only in part.( 1 cor 13:12) The part I believe I know of, I speak of,I do this to confirm things to the person in need. At times they confirm, and at times they do not confirm,but it is only by the faith that I have in our Jesus,that his words hopefully come through,never my own. Jesus has given us all special gifts for the body of Christ,but this gifts have little value unless we put them to use for his Glory in our lives. Because we do not know each other,I wanted to tell you this before I wrote you,so that any words spoken which help you,you will know they are from a most Loving Jesus speaking through a person,rather then flesh speaking to flesh.

For I have not know of any person wanting opinions from another person,we all have these.What we are looking for in an answer,is an answer that comes from Spirit,from love,from our Lord. I fully understand what lazy is!!LOL I was very lazy myself!Here is how the Lord helped me. Lazy has a purpose to being in such a state of both body and mind. The point to lazy,is so things that happen around us, do not affect us. We say things to ourselves like, well that is to bad, but it will pass, all things do pass in time. So instead of dealing with the mountain in front of us,we just go another way around it. Sometimes this works,other times the way we proceed around it leads to even more mountains,and now we go from being lazy, to being in despair! Or depressed! I sure have been this way!I sure believe most every believer has! So now what?

We looked to our self to go around things,and now we cannot go any further,we repent,we seek Jesus,and for a while this helps a great deal! But there is one serious problem sis!!! When are we fully going to believe?? We cannot unless we take lazy and put it in the closet like you would a coat, or a jacket. We then heap condemnation upon our self for we know how and what we lack in!( rom 8:1) The roller coaster you feel right now you are on,is the unbalance you have in your own life. So?? How do we obtain balance,lasting balance! Sometimes we look to another for our balance,we truly love another, who appears to be in balance themselves! Our hope is that balance we believe they have, will rub off on us! Again this works for a time! Yes sister I have been there!! But then all of a sudden, the balance we believed they had, falls short of our expectation!! Sometimes a great deal short! Now what?Now we go back into doubt! We then allow the enemy to blame us!As well as another! There was only one problem,now there are two problems! And as you have children as well,you are of course concerned about them! More problems!!

There is an escape sis!! A Lasting escape! I have found Jesus is not a one day expercience,but rather a 7 day one. Jesus is not for use,but rather to serve.Jesus does not base his love on us in our condition,but rather our submission to him. In Jesus there is no closet,we abide forever both in him, and he in us! But this does require something from us sis.Our time! For to love another as you have in the flesh required a great deal of your time to that person did it not? And he you! You at that time overlooked much in each other,because of love. But you have also found that flesh love is not the same as a God- like love. Jesus loves you no matter what! No matter how you feel towards him! Or yourself!

Allow a most loving Jesus to become your trust in! Over the past weeks the Lord has dealt much in our church on believing. Believing is trusting,no matter how one feels or what one is going through at the time.You KNOW!! Jesus loves you, and you KNOW!! he cares deeply for you! You understand fully how powerful words are! Look what words have done to us in our lives! It is easy to believe the bad rather then the good,that is lazy. Purpose is believing past those words another uses. In there words to us,we understand the pain they themselves could very well be in! Lazy looks at our faults,and looks to keep us depressed in them. We say things like oh dear, it must be my fault! Why did i ever get into this in the first place?

Because dear sister we all have to mature in Christ Jesus sooner or later! Did you have any say in how fast you grew taller?Nope! But you did!And had to deal with it! Growth is not measured by thought only, but also by action taken from that thought.( james 1:22) Draw near to the Lord sis!He wants you to!And dear Lord!! We NEED TO!! God will provide the way of escape for us sis.( 1 cor 10:13 says so!) To have peace and keep it,requires us to stay in His Word daily! For the flesh enjoys feeling sorry for itself,or blaming others for the condition we find our self in many times. In Jesus there is no fault! There are only solutions to them!

You have felt apart from God,but sister you could not be closer to him! He is reminding you of how much he loves you,and wants you love in return! Can anyone or anything replace him? Many look to build such idols,i sure did! But in the end we come to find, that every idol is a house build on sand.( matt 7:24-27) Jesus must become first in our lives sis! Then others! God will take away all of your depression sis!! ALL OF IT!! But not through man,but through him, and him alone! And you will give all glory to God because of this!He shares his glory with no one.(Isaiah 42:8,Isaiah 48:11, and Exodus 20:3-5)But yet shares his deep and abiding love with everyone! ( john 15:11-17!!!)

My prayers are of course with you sister!! JUST KNOW!!! Jesus truly LOVES YOU!! EVERYDAY!!! Every second of everyday!! No matter how you feel, no matter what you do!( acts 10:34) Jesus does not place another above another,for we in Christ are all the same!! HIS SERVANTS! HIS PRIESTS!( rev 1:6) HIS ambassadors!!( 2 cor 5:17-21!) A new creature in Christ does not look to put on the coat of the old from the closet anymore,you are clothed in Jesus now!( 1 peter 5:5-11!!!) I present God's Word to you, to confirm his deep and abiding love for you!! May every blessing always find you dear sister!! AND!!! always find you most well in HIM! amen! ( Philippians 1:2-6!!!)

 

[Brad Huber]

He could be overly critical, or you could be overly sensitive, or a combination of the two. Not sure, but before getting married, you should probably have a serious talk with him about your feelings, perhaps consider having blood work done to see if there is a physical reason for your tiredness, and last of all, you may have to see one of those doctors who use drugs to help with a chemical imbalance that leads to depression. But after being married, it will probably get worse, so its best to address it now. I am happy to pray for you sister.

 

[amadeus2]

I am praying that God will help you to move in this situation as He would have you move and that you will trust Him in the entire process!

 

[julesb65]

Thank you all, very much. God Bless YOU!!

 

[Fragrant Grace]

Greetings julesb65

In all thy ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct thy paths
Proverbs 3:6

This is one of the Lord wonderful promises to us.

Keep commiting your situation to the Lord....and He will reveal His will to you.

Don't rush into things. Wait on the Lord. Let His Spirit reign fully in your heart and lead you.

Praying for you as you wait on the Lord for His perfect will to be revealed.

Bless you

Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed upon Thee,because he trusteth in Thee.
Isaiah 26:3

 

[stephen]

He can be very critical, and insensitive to me and my son, but is very generous and a great provider. At other times very loving and encouraging. I have been diagnosed with clinical depression and I am taking medication for this, so sometimes I worry, that this is all my fault. Maybe I'm making to big of deal out of nothing. Maybe it's my fault.

Dear lady....My first thought is for you to stay relaxed. Life can be difficult...... for the best of us. Continue to be a good wife/mother and great friend.......Always looking unto the Lord Jesus

You are in our prayers..........Blessings in Jesus
Read More: Don't know what to do..
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[Dianna Jagessar]

Hey....with God ALL things are possible. you need to get on your knees in fast and prayer and talk to God for He will answer you. God never fails us, it's we who fail ourselves sometimes. God is just a prayer away. Call upon Him and He will answer you. i pray God's guidance and direction upon you and your son. God bless you.

 

[Quasicentennium]

Deception of sin from Satan has been the negative force opposite of the positive force of Jesus. Like an atom that contains two opposite forces that live together but cannot live without each other are negative electrons and positive protons. So if you imagine that your negative feelings caused by Satan that cannot live without positive feelings caused by Jesus then your intelligent mind can understand why faith is used, to learn from your life experiences and become an inspector or detective secret agent into understanding the mysterious criminal monsters that are spiritually attacking your inner-world known as the mind and body, besides the outer-world where crime, violence, income dishonesty such as deceiving Social Welfare through false personal identities, vehicle accidents -etc.
May Jesus give you authority over sin like a giant's foot to stomp on sin so hard so it becomes flat as a pancake .:*:.

 

[Rockerduck]

Someone who doesn't understand clinical depression will tend to say critical things because they think they can "fix" something in which you have no control over. It is the same with ADD and OCD. If the significant other doesn't understand, they cannot support. For instance, clinically depressed people sleep more;the spouse will say that you sleep too much. You might be "thinking" too much and forget something and be called stupid. The list goes on. You see, I understand you. Your soon to be spouse needs to study up on depression before you get married. If he cannot have that deep conversation with you, he probably can't.

 

[julesb65]

Again, thank you all. Rockerduck, it seems you do understand me. I am tired all the time, and people are constantly sighing and rolling there eyes at me because they think I'm a airhead. It's my cross to bear, and I will, but sometimes it get's a little heavy.

 

[Opal]

Jules, once you see a red flag like that in your relationship, especially where depression is a part of your life. Commit the situation
to God before you decide to make the relationship permanent.