DIVORCED, now what ?

[farout]

Jesus adressed Divorce in Matthew 5:31, 32 Matthew 19:3-12. Jesus says unless there is marital unfaithfulness you can not divorce. Today many christians are divorced and remarried. The church sometimes do not allow divorced christians to teach Sunday School serve as a Pastor, Deacon, and other restrictions for the divorced. Divorced chirstians are sometimes treated as second class christians. In Deuteronomy 24:1-4 It says you can't remarry someone you divorced, and one of you remarried and divorced once again, and then remarry your orignal marriage partner.

Paul addresses divorce in 1 Corinthians 7:1-39 Today Christian's divorce about the same percentage as non-christians. What if you, as a christian, find you got divorced and now know that divorce was unbiblical ? What do you do now, how do you make this right in the eyes of God ?

If your marriage is unbarable, and there is no hope, it's over and that's it, what now ?

What are your beliefs, about christian's and divorce ?

 

[Strypes]

What do you do now, how do you make this right in the eyes of God ?

YOU can't "Do" anything to make it "Right in the eyes of God"

I divorced my ex-husband for unfaithfulness (and lying against the Holy Spirit) back in 1996. I have searched the scriptures and found peace knowing that God's heart in the matter of any divorce is that of sadness. All Divorces hurt people to some degree. And God HATES IT when we hurt each other.
Tiz true

Malachi 2:16

"I hate divorce," says the Lord God of Israel. "I hate it when one of you does such a cruel thing to his wife. Make sure that you do not break your promise to be faithful to your wife."

Nothing we do can "make it right"...

As a believer/Christ follower, we have this thing called grace. Our mistakes do not UN-DO what Jesus did on the Cross.


What to do now?

If one's intent is to satisfy their sexual desires and "remarry" then take it up with God. Talk to Him about it. Seek Him and follow the guidance of the Holy Spirit.

Galatians 5:1 For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery.

It really doesn't matter what we think or try to justify. What matters is the individual's relationship with God. We can hem and haw and debate this aspect or that and it really isn't fruitful. We must forgive and move on, trusting God to also forgive and guide us onward.


Answers are not "simple". What God's will for one may not be the same for another. The scripture that God used to give me peace is ..

1 Corinthians 7:15

But if the unbelieving partners leave, let them go. Under these circumstances a Christian man or Christian woman is not bound [by a marriage vow]. God has called you to live in peace.

 

[spirit1st]

I believe GOD wants us living in peace and joy. Some have no peace or joy. There homes are full of hate and evil junk.

But I do know God counts a marriage Holy . He hates seeing us suffer and hates seeing our children suffer and be led in evil ways.

I would say ? ASK the Holy Ghost what You need to do? He will reveal it .

 

[B-A-C]

The Bible gives two reasons for divorce.
1. Un-faithfulness.
Matt 5:32; but I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except for the reason of unchastity, makes her commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.
Matt 19:9; "And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery."

2. Being married to an unbeliever.
1 Cor 7:14; For the unbelieving husband is sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified through her believing husband; for otherwise your children are unclean, but now they are holy.
1 Cor 7:15; Yet if the unbelieving one leaves, let him leave; the brother or the sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God has called us to peace.
1 Cor 7:16; For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife?

Yes Malachi says God hates divorce, and I believe he does.
I personally that once two people become "one flesh" (Gen 2:24; Matt 19:5-6; Mark 10:8; etc...) when they get divorced, it is just as traumatic and leaves scars as if a part of your flesh
(say your hand for example) was severed from you. Things like this can heal, but always leave a scar.


Still, even so God forgives.
David had an affair with Bath-sheba. ( David even had her husband killed). Yet Acts 13:22 says he was a man after God's own heart.
The woman in John 4:8 had five husbands (and the one she was with now, wasn't her husband). Yet she believed he was the Messiah (John 4:29)
Jesus told her he could give her living water, so she would never thirst again. Even though he knew her past.

I don't believe God wants us to be divorced. But I believe he forgives.
Some take Matt 5:32 to put the onus, on the person who left in the first place, meaning if you marry again, the sin goes against them, not you (you didn't want the divorce).

 

[sintheticg]

Jesus Christ died for all sins. So you're divorced?Congrats you're a sinner like the rest of us. How to make it right with God? Get saved. Read Romans 5-6 about 100 times. We are freed from the bondage of sin, the guilt, the shame. Christ died for all of it. Rather than punish you on earth like Satan would do, when you realize you are in sin, stick to the 3 R's recognize, repent, and replace. See you sin for what it is. Repent of it, pray to the lord, fast if he's called you to do so, get his mind on the subject, and finally, replace the sin with scriptural meditation on the subject.

I would not join a church that put a punishment on being divorced.

I was in a church once and a repentant pedophile wanted to join, so the men with children met with him, and straight up told him Christ can forgive you and we can forgive you but if you touch one of our children you are a dead man. The man agreed and served the church for a long time.

We can't hold a repentant sinner down on earth. Now if someone refuses to repent of their sin that is grounds for church discipline. Maybe after you divorce you realized it was a sin, or maybe you knew it was sin and did it anyway but later repented. Well if you had 5more divorces after that I'd say you never really repented.

 

[DHC]

Jesus adressed Divorce in Matthew 5:31, 32 Matthew 19:3-12. Jesus says unless there is marital unfaithfulness you can not divorce. Today many christians are divorced and remarried. The church sometimes do not allow divorced christians to teach Sunday School serve as a Pastor, Deacon, and other restrictions for the divorced. Divorced chirstians are sometimes treated as second class christians. In Deuteronomy 24:1-4 It says you can't remarry someone you divorced, and one of you remarried and divorced once again, and then remarry your orignal marriage partner.

Paul addresses divorce in 1 Corinthians 7:1-39 Today Christian's divorce about the same percentage as non-christians. What if you, as a christian, find you got divorced and now know that divorce was unbiblical ? What do you do now, how do you make this right in the eyes of God ?

If your marriage is unbarable, and there is no hope, it's over and that's it, what now ?

What are your beliefs, about christian's and divorce ?

Hello farout.

A real tough question by any measure. I have witnessed sour marriages and the carnage they cause.
Love turns to bitterness and resentment, everyone associated with the couple suffer. Divorce is a
reality that affects roughly 50% of marriages, whether Christian or not.

I love the way God has designed the reality that we live in. There is no respite from the onslaught
of human behavior including divorces. This reality drives us deeper into Christ and the proclamation
of salvation by Grace. Reformation of the carnal, fleshy nature of man is impossible. Live by and in
the Spirit at all times this road is somewhat smoother.

For some divorce is unavoidable, the marriage has ended. Some couples are simply not compatible!
Divorce like every other sin is that man commits is avoidable but at a great cost of course. Is the
answer simple, yes, will anyone follow the advice, unlikely.

Ephesians 2
4 But God, being rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us,
5 even when we were dead in our transgressions, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved),
6 and raised us up with Him, and seated us with Him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus,
7 so that in the ages to come He might show the surpassing riches of His grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus.
8 For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God;
9 not as a result of works, so that no one may boast.

Am I thankful that we are saved by Grace and not by works, otherwise Heaven would be empty.

 

[spirit1st]

I went too a church. And did lots of different jobs there. The Pastor told me? You know Gary you can never go any higher in this religion. I said ? Why? He said you were once married , I said Pastor it was before i was born again and God forgiven me . Why will not mankind forgive me? I said , I do not agree with this religion. I said brother , Why are you in this if you think they are wrong ? He walked away and would not answer
me .

We go to church to worship our LORD and be a blessing to others. We do not serve religions or pastors or anything else. Our is a one on one relationship at our start in our Lord and Forever more.

We are only trying to be Faithful to our Lord and HIS calling. If you do that? You will be called by HIM on that day ,Faithful and Rewarded .

That will be enough ,believe me.

 

[farout]

Jesus Christ died for all sins. So you're divorced?Congrats you're a sinner like the rest of us. How to make it right with God? Get saved. Read Romans 5-6 about 100 times. We are freed from the bondage of sin, the guilt, the shame. Christ died for all of it. Rather than punish you on earth like Satan would do, when you realize you are in sin, stick to the 3 R's recognize, repent, and replace. See you sin for what it is. Repent of it, pray to the lord, fast if he's called you to do so, get his mind on the subject, and finally, replace the sin with scriptural meditation on the subject.

I would not join a church that put a punishment on being divorced.

I was in a church once and a repentant pedophile wanted to join, so the men with children met with him, and straight up told him Christ can forgive you and we can forgive you but if you touch one of our children you are a dead man. The man agreed and served the church for a long time.

We can't hold a repentant sinner down on earth. Now if someone refuses to repent of their sin that is grounds for church discipline. Maybe after you divorce you realized it was a sin, or maybe you knew it was sin and did it anyway but later repented. Well if you had 5more divorces after that I'd say you never really repented.

Most diivorced christians or just other christians have no idea how their church stands on divorced christians getting into Seminary, serving on the Deacon's board. Just ask and you just might find out how blocked the doors are. Most solid Bible Churches have limitations. Ask ans see if it's true in your church/

 

[spirit1st]

There is no prefect church on the earth. We should ask our LORD where He wants us going too?

He wants the best for each of us and wants to use us to be a blessing while we are here this short time on earth.

We cannot really belong to any church he, because we give ourselves to the LORD 100% when we accept His free gift of salvation.
He Owns us 100% and we become under Him and in HIM

We can give and work in a church or religion . But We must never forget ? All we do is for Him and HIS glory and honor. It Him we are trying pleasing Always

We need to be careful of what we say and do? It really serious. At least in my little mind.

 

[sintheticg]

Saved people are the church, a building with pharasitical rules is not required, assembling yourselves is good, discipleship is good. I haven't "joined" the current church I attend because it is a 501c3 and I refuse to officially affiliate with such an organization. How ever it is good to fellowship with other believers.

I won't climb the "leadership" ladder either, either God will call me to a specific area of ministry or not.

As for divorce American laws have nothing to do with biblical divorce. Just like a state issued marriage liscense isnt marriage by biblical deffinition. Before I was saved I had pre marital sex and was engaged. I'm not divorced by state law, but am I when matched to the bible? Oh well I guess I won't be wearing a suit, passing the offering plate, or leading the congregation in prayer like a good deacon.

 

[sintheticg]

As for reaching the highest rung on the ladder, I guess only some people with a faith of a mustard seed can move mountains, I guess that makes Christ a liar preacher? Is that what you are telling me?

 

[spirit1st]

God works though any of us who are willing?
I pretty much done everything in the new testament He said We would. But He is No respecter of persons and None of us are more than others in His body and true unseen church.
\
We Do not look up too others . We only look up to Him. Every good things and prefect thing ,come from Him. We are Nothing without Him as Lord of our lives.

That Why Only He gets all the glory and honor. That the problem in many churches today. Following pastors or teachers or popes or books . We hear our Lord and follow only HIM.

Many will be left at the catching away . They did not follow only our LORD JESUS.

Gal_3:28 There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus.

Act_10:34 Then Peter opened his mouth, and said, Of a truth I perceive that God is no respecter of persons:

He thinks as much about you and any on the Earth. We decide how much our relationship grows ?

 

[james1523]

Jesus adressed Divorce in Matthew 5:31, 32 Matthew 19:3-12. Jesus says unless there is marital unfaithfulness you can not divorce. Today many christians are divorced and remarried. The church sometimes do not allow divorced christians to teach Sunday School serve as a Pastor, Deacon, and other restrictions for the divorced. Divorced chirstians are sometimes treated as second class christians. In Deuteronomy 24:1-4 It says you can't remarry someone you divorced, and one of you remarried and divorced once again, and then remarry your orignal marriage partner.

Paul addresses divorce in 1 Corinthians 7:1-39 Today Christian's divorce about the same percentage as non-christians. What if you, as a christian, find you got divorced and now know that divorce was unbiblical ? What do you do now, how do you make this right in the eyes of God ?

If your marriage is unbarable, and there is no hope, it's over and that's it, what now ?

What are your beliefs, about christian's and divorce ?

The passages don't speak of divorce but "putting away". In Matt 5:31, 32 Jesus was addressing the practice of putting away or sending away ones wife without proper divorce proceedings. This is why it says "let him give her a bill of divorce". Men were separating from their wives without giving a bill of divorce. Meanwhile the man would marry another. Since he was not legally divorced, this second marriage amounted to adultery. And the woman sent away could be forced into prostitution , or to marry another man, because there was not protection or financial support for women who were sent away but still legally married. This is why it says in verse 32, anyone who sends away his wife, makes her commit adultery. So both the man and the woman committed adultery in God's eyes.

The Pharisees wanted to be able to send away or divorce their wife for any cause. So if they were tired of one they could take another.
This is why Jesus emphasized that marriage between man and woman is intended to be life long, and only adultery is valid reason to send away your wife - the marital bond has been broken.

In our modern era, it could be said that any breaking of the marital vows such as domestic violence or neglect is grounds for divorce.
I cannot see why domestic violence or neglect, or any breaking of the marital vows made before God in a church, would not also be suitable grounds for divorce in addition to adultery.

I believe there is nothing prohibiting a legally divorced person from re-marrying.
The bible only prohibits people who are not legally divorced (merely separated, or put away), to marry another, since this amounts to adultery, because they are not legally divorced.
But God's intention is clear, that marriage is intended to be lifelong, and divorce should be avoided at all, if possible.

God Himself is a divorcee.
Divorce, if followed through with the proper legal proceedings, for any valid reason, is not a sin - marriage is a conditional contract, and God and society has provided a way to opt out of that contract.
Re-marriage after divorce is not adultery. But re-marriage after separation (without proper legal divorce) is adultery.

 

[sintheticg]

The passages don't speak of divorce but "putting away". In Matt 5:31, 32 Jesus was addressing the practice of putting away or sending away ones wife without proper divorce proceedings. This is why it says "let him give her a bill of divorce". Men were separating from their wives without giving a bill of divorce. Meanwhile the man would marry another. Since he was not legally divorced, this second marriage amounted to adultery. And the woman sent away could be forced into prostitution , or to marry another man, because there was not protection or financial support for women who were sent away but still legally married. This is why it says in verse 32, anyone who sends away his wife, makes her commit adultery. So both the man and the woman committed adultery in God's eyes.

The Pharisees wanted to be able to send away or divorce their wife for any cause. So if they were tired of one they could take another.
This is why Jesus emphasized that marriage between man and woman is intended to be life long, and only adultery is valid reason to send away your wife - the marital bond has been broken.

In our modern era, it could be said that any breaking of the marital vows such as domestic violence or neglect is grounds for divorce.
I cannot see why domestic violence or neglect, or any breaking of the marital vows made before God in a church, would not also be suitable grounds for divorce in addition to adultery.

I believe there is nothing prohibiting a legally divorced person from re-marrying.
The bible only prohibits people who are not legally divorced (merely separated, or put away), to marry another, since this amounts to adultery, because they are not legally divorced.
But God's intention is clear, that marriage is intended to be lifelong, and divorce should be avoided at all, if possible.

God Himself is a divorcee.
Divorce, if followed through with the proper legal proceedings, for any valid reason, is not a sin - marriage is a conditional contract, and God and society has provided a way to opt out of that contract.
Re-marriage after divorce is not adultery. But re-marriage after separation (without proper legal divorce) is adultery.

Quality post sir

 

[james g]

Mat 19:8 He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.

(Adam could not put away his wife and take another, for there was no other to take)

Mar 10:5 And Jesus answered and said unto them, For the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept.

Mat 19:9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.

Lev 20:10 And the man that committeth adultery with another man's wife, even he that committeth adultery with his neighbour's wife, the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death.

So how can they put away there wife when she was put to death for marital unfaithfulness?adultery

 

[spirit1st]

Adam loved HIS wife more than HE loved GOD. He did not want to be alone. We might do the same thing?
Not going to church or fellow shipping with others .
Lots pick there wants over ,Truth ?

Fear causes many many problems in our lives at times?

 

[Thiscrosshurts]

1 Corinthians 7:27 Art thou bound unto a wife? seek not to be loosed. Art thou loosed from a wife? seek not a wife.
Matthew 5:32 But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, makes her the victim of adultery, and anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

Divorce does not seem to be an issue but remarriage certainly is.
There seems to be a double standard because a man can simply take a second wife as long as she has never been married.

The two become one flesh like eggs and flour become a cake.
Can you separate the eggs from the flour again?
No,when you divorce you simply cut a cake and the pieces go their separate ways.
Your only spouse is the spouse of your youth.

Malachi 2:14 Yet ye say, Wherefore? Because the LORD hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant.
Malachi 2:15 And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth.

Isaiah 54:6 For the LORD has called you like a wife deserted and grieved in spirit, like a wife of youth when she is cast off, says your God.
Proverbs 5:18 Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth.

God looks on the heart and if your spouse has left then you are
free to seek God with your full attention and devotion.

1 Corinthians 7:27 Are you pledged to a woman? Do not seek to be released. Are you free from such a commitment? Do not look for a wife.
1 Corinthians 7:32 But I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord:
1 Corinthians 7:33 But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife.

The only option I see is to pray and believe God for the restoration of the marriage.

1 Corinthians 7:10 And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband:
1 Corinthians 7:11 But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.

 

[spirit1st]

Mat_5:32 But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.

 

[james g]

Adam loved HIS wife more than HE loved GOD. He did not want to be alone. We might do the same thing?
Not going to church or fellow shipping with others .
Lots pick there wants over ,Truth ?

Fear causes many many problems in our lives at times?

Wasn't Adam without sin before he eat of the tree?so why did he not offered his blood to God for Eve? If he loved her more then God?

Joh 15:13 Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.
Joh 3:16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

 

[spirit1st]

Adam had to chose ? His wife or obey GOD? He picked sinning. God did not tell Adam , He could not love His wife. But He feared losing Her and being alone.
He did not understand, God would have given Him another wife. You know , Many try to please there mates instead of obeying GOD living Words and fall into problems?
I done it, I know first hand.
Fear does it I believe.
When the truth is ? If we just start off right and then obey HIS Words. We will do much ,much better.

In a way, it good we make mistakes so we can warn others. Of course we feel real bad after the fact.
Good your here man. Bless you and your family and household.