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Dating Courtship question

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Active Member
This is referring to the practice of being in a dating/courtship (not married) relationship with someone who is not as far a long in their walk with Christ. In such a relationship, would eventual marriage be an option?

Should the couple go their separate ways?

What sayeth the Scripture?
 
Loyal Member
I'd say,

  1. Don't take snapshot advice from people who don't know the full situation too seriously.
  2. Where a person is, is not as important as the direction they are travelling.
 
Active Member
I'd say,

  1. Don't take snapshot advice from people who don't know the full situation too seriously.
  2. Where a person is, is not as important as the direction they are travelling.
I appreciate the idea of not taking advice from people who don't know the whole situation. I have noticed that sometimes the one piece of the story that is missing (whether accidentally, or for hiding it because of "shame") can be the piece that changes the advice. I will give an example. I went to a prayer group burdened for a person that I know, who is a believer, but is struggling with strongholds. And they were steady lifting me up for caring about that person and not giving up on them etc... Until they found out that he was my boyfriend. Then it went from stick with it to you should leave.
 
Moderator
Staff member
@pookiejr
I'm always curious about what is meant by "not as far along in their walk". Does this mean that the one person sins more than the other or that they are more involved in the world, etc. How we look at this, verses how the person themselves see it, might also provide further insight.

An example I look at is the relationship with my wife. I can have a discussion concerning the Bible and our Lord all day long, but my wife cannot. I've learned to acknowledge the look that says "okay, I gone as far as I can on this subject". :smile: Does this mean we're on different places in our walk with the Lord or just that we burn at different intensities at different times? I've been married 34 years and still love her dearly. As far as I know she loves me the same as well! :wink:

I guess what I'm trying to say is that it is less important where they are in their walk with the Lord in relation to where you are. Rather do they have a walk in the first place and one you and others can recognize without having to go dig for it.

With the Love of Christ Jesus.
YBIC
Nick
<><
 
Active Member
@pookiejr
I'm always curious about what is meant by "not as far along in their walk". Does this mean that the one person sins more than the other or that they are more involved in the world, etc. How we look at this, verses how the person themselves see it, might also provide further insight.

An example I look at is the relationship with my wife. I can have a discussion concerning the Bible and our Lord all day long, but my wife cannot. I've learned to acknowledge the look that says "okay, I gone as far as I can on this subject". :smile: Does this mean we're on different places in our walk with the Lord or just that we burn at different intensities at different times? I've been married 34 years and still love her dearly. As far as I know she loves me the same as well! :wink:

I guess what I'm trying to say is that it is less important where they are in their walk with the Lord in relation to where you are. Rather do they have a walk in the first place and one you and others can recognize without having to go dig for it.

With the Love of Christ Jesus.
YBIC
Nick
<><
More involved in the world and by proxy, "more involved" in sin (granted, I was rebuked for being lazy yesterday, so it may be a case of to whom much is given, much is required)

Seems legit, Thanks for being willing to give yourself in the example. I still feel like men are supposed to take the lead in the "
Jesus enjoyment quota" though :laughing:
 
Active Member
How is his spiritual walk? Can you describe what his faith consists of?
I don't know a lot. I know he has confessed with his mouth the Lord Jesus and believes in his heart that God raised him from the dead. I also realize. that there are things that he knows that I don't realize that he knows. I am not quite sure about what you mean by "what his faith consists of" other than that.
 
Loyal Member
I don't know a lot. I know he has confessed with his mouth the Lord Jesus and believes in his heart that God raised him from the dead. I also realize. that there are things that he knows that I don't realize that he knows. I am not quite sure about what you mean by "what his faith consists of" other than that.
Does he listen to christian music for the worship value? Does he read scripture and if so, how often? Does he bring up his faith in conversations with you? If he is a boyfriend, and you are thinking in such a way to ask if its possible that you two are compatible in marriage, you should be talking more about your faith with him and get to know him in the same way.
 
Active Member
Does he listen to christian music for the worship value? Does he read scripture and if so, how often? Does he bring up his faith in conversations with you? If he is a boyfriend, and you are thinking in such a way to ask if its possible that you two are compatible in marriage, you should be talking more about your faith with him and get to know him in the same way.
Sounds good to me. Good idea to find out where he really stands.
 
Moderator
Staff member
Let us know how it goes.
I've learned that some people recognize and even can repeat some words i.e salvation, grace, but ask them how they are Saved and it becomes evident rather quickly that they aren't really sure!
Will be praying for you Sister.
With the love of Christ Jesus.
YBIC
Nick
<><
 
Active Member
Let us know how it goes.
I've learned that some people recognize and even can repeat some words i.e salvation, grace, but ask them how they are Saved and it becomes evident rather quickly that they aren't really sure!
Will be praying for you Sister.
With the love of Christ Jesus.
YBIC
Nick
<><
Thanks yawl :smile:
 
Loyal Member
OK. Here's a possible way forward that avoids you having to make a fine judgement about another person's standing before God.

Why not take the the lead in this situation? Talk to your boyfriend about how central Jesus is to your life, your decisions, and motivations. You a seeking a relationship in which you can be held and supported in your faith, pray together, talk about spiritual things, and attend church together That's what it means to be my boyfriend. You might not have to give an ultimatum, but you should be honest enough to say that you only have a future if God is at the centre.

If he backs away, you have an answer to your question. Or he may sense God calling on his life and respond positively.

Whichever, you can be confident that you have honoured God, and treated your boyfriend fairly.

Any good?
 
Active Member
OK. Here's a possible way forward that avoids you having to make a fine judgement about another person's standing before God.

Why not take the the lead in this situation? Talk to your boyfriend about how central Jesus is to your life, your decisions, and motivations. You a seeking a relationship in which you can be held and supported in your faith, pray together, talk about spiritual things, and attend church together That's what it means to be my boyfriend. You might not have to give an ultimatum, but you should be honest enough to say that you only have a future if God is at the centre.

If he backs away, you have an answer to your question. Or he may sense God calling on his life and respond positively.

Whichever, you can be confident that you have honoured God, and treated your boyfriend fairly.

Any good?
Sounds good to me. I may ask him Friday since this seems like a conversation better had in person (in my opinion).
 
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