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Confrontation—The word itself can send chills up and down your spine, especially if you’ve seen, heard, or felt the sting of an unhealthy conflict. Confrontation at times is necessary within your fellowship,yet it needn’t be destructive.

Below are four questions to ask yourself before you confront someone:

Question One: Are you convinced that your desire to confront someone is not just to “get something off your chest”? The purpose of every act of confrontation should be to lovingly restore a brother or sister. Take time to meditate, pray, and cleanse your heart of impure motives.

Question Two: Have you dealt with your own feelings and preconceived attitudes about the person you want to confront? Read Galatians 6:1-2, and ask yourself if you are spiritually prepared to confront. Read Matthew 5:9. Are you taking responsibility for a peaceful end to this conflict?

Question Three: Could some constructive action on your part ease the tension in your relationship with this other person? Read Romans 12:18. Have you done everything you can to be at peace with him or her?

Question Four: Have you taken adequate time to allow for self-examination objectivity and accept valued input of another to prevent impulsive confrontation? Read 1 Timothy 5:19.

If confrontation is still required after you’ve considered these four questions, then read 2 Timothy 2:24-26 and remember these do’s and don’ts:

Don’t: attack, defend, or raise your voice.[Caps Lock ]

Do: be gentle and firm, establish contact, give two positives for every negative, and listen.

Most important, make your opening sentence an “I” statement, (e.g., "I was hurt by your comment the other day and I’d like to tell you why.”) The first few seconds of a confrontational conversation can set the tone for the entire dialogue. Learn to handle conflict constructively and creatively. It will draw your fellowship together as you learn that even imperfect children of God can live in peace – and you will live to tell about it.

This is a continued work in progress . I have failed many times at this , but in Christ , this can be our goal . Mike
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The bible tells us to go to our brothers and sisters in Christ when they have hurt us. I look at confrontation as healing the beginning of it. if you hold back things from one another it will only bring more heavy hearted feelings towards them. once you have confronted them and find no resolving there then you go to the elders with this individual after that and still has failed i believe the word tells us to walk away and kick the dust off our sandles so to speak another words your concience and been cleared and you have done all you know to do its up to God to to work in that individual and he will. Am I on the right track? lol God bless
Good post, Mike, but may I add one more point? It is critically important to start the process of confronting another person by deciding that however things turn out, you are going to love that person with Christ-like love.

Christ-like love takes a lot of the anger out of confrontation and makes the rest of the process easier.


Great input from both you saints . As I said , I am a work in progress . :embarasse All advice is welcome . Thanks and God Bless . Mike
Confrontation to me, is, or can be good...if the intent is good, if not its just useless words... an may lead to ungodly actions. Some people are critical of others, and no matter what they do or say, there is always something for them to correct.

As in a teacher of a pupil, who may not be welcome as a teacher but a criticizer, but only if the one recieving the instruction is unlearned in what the instuctor is trying to say.

Theres nothing wrong with constructive criticisim or should i say instruction...as saints we mix this up. For them who dont understand the difference, read the word. But also dont underestimate the pupil... or leaner, the one you think your teaching, as he may not need your input, but be well aware of what hes doing.

Best to pray both ways before you speak...and after you speak. God has many a time taken my foot out of my mouth, after ive put it in. And likewise for the other party...he has a way of doing this. Plus we can always learn from one another...no man lords it over Gods people, except Christ:shade: He is lord...

God bless
Love covers a multitude of sins. It does not fail. Is not self-seeking, is easily entreated. Does not boast itself.. prefers the other. Love is long suffering. Love is gentle, is not proud...

There is so much we can say about love. May we always remain in His love. May we grow in His love.

We all have moments when we are caught out of love. I pray we always remain and grow in His love.

The Lord bless our hearts and bring us closer to Himself.
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