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Christian Jokes - These Are Perfect for Church!

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Christian Jokes - These Are Perfect for Church! Some of the puns in there can make you groan but they are funny.​


 
Member

Christian Jokes - These Are Perfect for Church! Some of the puns in there can make you groan but they are funny.​


when you have no anointing, turn to comedy. whatever it takes to keep the cash flowing in the ***** houses of christianity. 666.
 
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when you have no anointing, turn to comedy. whatever it takes to keep the cash flowing in the ***** houses of christianity. 666.
Strange how there is no money to be gained by sharing that video, but whatever makes you feel good about yourself at the expense of others.

May God bless you. I'm supposed to do that whenever any one persecutes me but I need His help to remind me to do it. My imperfection is showing, I reckon, but it does show my reliance on Him for all things as He is working that in me.
 
Member
Strange how there is no money to be gained by sharing that video, but whatever makes you feel good about yourself at the expense of others.

May God bless you. I'm supposed to do that whenever any one persecutes me but I need His help to remind me to do it. My imperfection is showing, I reckon, but it does show my reliance on Him for all things as He is working that in me.
oh yes, you're so persecuted - i'm sure you're rung out like a rag from hanging on that cross.
lol
 
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oh yes, you're so persecuted - i'm sure you're rung out like a rag from hanging on that cross.
lol
There are other forms of persecution that I am sure you would not say it is not persecution just as there are other ways to die other than by crucifixion.

May God bless you one day in the knowledge of Him to be saved.
 
Member
There are other forms of persecution that I am sure you would not say it is not persecution just as there are other ways to die other than by crucifixion.

May God bless you one day in the knowledge of Him to be saved.
you have no clue what salvation is . . . to prove it, answer this -

what are you saved from? and use scripture to prove your point.

"give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you . . " - I Peter 3:15
 
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you have no clue what salvation is . . . to prove it, answer this -

what are you saved from? and use scripture to prove your point.

"give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you . . " - I Peter 3:15
Since we are reconciled to God through Jesus Christ, then we are saved from our sins and the eventual eternal separation from God and all that is good which is the second death; the lake of fire, that hell & death will be cast into in the end.

1 Corinthians 15:20 But now is Christ risen from the dead, and become the firstfruits of them that slept. 21 For since by man came death, by man came also the resurrection of the dead. 22 For as in Adam all die, even so in Christ shall all be made alive. 23 But every man in his own order: Christ the firstfruits; afterward they that are Christ's at his coming. 24 Then cometh the end, when he shall have delivered up the kingdom to God, even the Father; when he shall have put down all rule and all authority and power. 25 For he must reign, till he hath put all enemies under his feet. 26 The last enemy that shall be destroyed is death.

Revelation 20:10 And the devil that deceived them was cast into the lake of fire and brimstone, where the beast and the false prophet are, and shall be tormented day and night for ever and ever. 11 And I saw a great white throne, and him that sat on it, from whose face the earth and the heaven fled away; and there was found no place for them. 12 And I saw the dead, small and great, stand before God; and the books were opened: and another book was opened, which is the book of life: and the dead were judged out of those things which were written in the books, according to their works. 13 And the sea gave up the dead which were in it; and death and hell delivered up the dead which were in them: and they were judged every man according to their works. 14 And death and hell were cast into the lake of fire. This is the second death. 15 And whosoever was not found written in the book of life was cast into the lake of fire.

2 Corinthians 5:17 Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new. 18 And all things are of God, who hath reconciled us to himself by Jesus Christ, and hath given to us the ministry of reconciliation; 19 To wit, that God was in Christ, reconciling the world unto himself, not imputing their trespasses unto them; and hath committed unto us the word of reconciliation. 20 Now then we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God did beseech you by us: we pray you in Christ's stead, be ye reconciled to God. 21 For he hath made him to be sin for us, who knew no sin; that we might be made the righteousness of God in him.

John 3:15 That whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have eternal life. 16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. 17 For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved. 18 He that believeth on him is not condemned: but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.

Romans 10:8 But what saith it? The word is nigh thee, even in thy mouth, and in thy heart: that is, the word of faith, which we preach; 9 That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. 10 For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation. 11 For the scripture saith, Whosoever believeth on him shall not be ashamed. 12 For there is no difference between the Jew and the Greek: for the same Lord over all is rich unto all that call upon him. 13 For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
 
Member
Since we are reconciled to God through Jesus Christ, then we are saved from our sins and the eventual eternal separation from God and all that is good which is the second death; the lake of fire, that hell & death will be cast into in the end.

1 Corinthians 15:20 But now is Christ risen from the dead, and become the firstfruits of them that slept. 21 For since by man came death, by man came also the resurrection of the dead. 22 For as in Adam all die, even so in Christ shall all be made alive. 23 But every man in his own order: Christ the firstfruits; afterward they that are Christ's at his coming. 24 Then cometh the end, when he shall have delivered up the kingdom to God, even the Father; when he shall have put down all rule and all authority and power. 25 For he must reign, till he hath put all enemies under his feet. 26 The last enemy that shall be destroyed is death.

Revelation 20:10 And the devil that deceived them was cast into the lake of fire and brimstone, where the beast and the false prophet are, and shall be tormented day and night for ever and ever. 11 And I saw a great white throne, and him that sat on it, from whose face the earth and the heaven fled away; and there was found no place for them. 12 And I saw the dead, small and great, stand before God; and the books were opened: and another book was opened, which is the book of life: and the dead were judged out of those things which were written in the books, according to their works. 13 And the sea gave up the dead which were in it; and death and hell delivered up the dead which were in them: and they were judged every man according to their works. 14 And death and hell were cast into the lake of fire. This is the second death. 15 And whosoever was not found written in the book of life was cast into the lake of fire.

2 Corinthians 5:17 Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new. 18 And all things are of God, who hath reconciled us to himself by Jesus Christ, and hath given to us the ministry of reconciliation; 19 To wit, that God was in Christ, reconciling the world unto himself, not imputing their trespasses unto them; and hath committed unto us the word of reconciliation. 20 Now then we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God did beseech you by us: we pray you in Christ's stead, be ye reconciled to God. 21 For he hath made him to be sin for us, who knew no sin; that we might be made the righteousness of God in him.

John 3:15 That whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have eternal life. 16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. 17 For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved. 18 He that believeth on him is not condemned: but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.

Romans 10:8 But what saith it? The word is nigh thee, even in thy mouth, and in thy heart: that is, the word of faith, which we preach; 9 That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. 10 For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation. 11 For the scripture saith, Whosoever believeth on him shall not be ashamed. 12 For there is no difference between the Jew and the Greek: for the same Lord over all is rich unto all that call upon him. 13 For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
know any christians who have attained "eternal life"?
all the ones so far have perished, like Billy Graham, unless he had a fake funeral.
and at this point, the current state of christians will be another lost generation
 
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know any christians who have attained "eternal life"?
all the ones so far have perished, like Billy Graham, unless he had a fake funeral.
and at this point, the current state of christians will be another lost generation
Jesus being the first fruit of the resurrection....is why we have hope in Him for eternal life.

John 11:24 Martha saith unto him, I know that he shall rise again in the resurrection at the last day. 25 Jesus said unto her, I am the resurrection, and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live: 26 And whosoever liveth and believeth in me shall never die. Believest thou this? 27 She saith unto him, Yea, Lord: I believe that thou art the Christ, the Son of God, which should come into the world.
 
Active
A man dies and goes to heaven and meets Saint Peter at the pearly gates, Peter says come walk with me, as they walk Peter says this is the Lutheran section of heaven, where they hear them singing A MIGHTY FORTRESS is our God!!,now Peter says we must be quiet walking through this section of heaven, as they pass by the section the man asks Peter why did we have to be so quiet in this section?? Peter answers " OH these are the Baptists; they do not know anybody else is up here!! LOL
 
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