I was born in a Muslim family in Pakistan, when I was a teenager I experienced the presence of the LORD and learned that HE is very loving and friendly, but as I grew and learned quran, I got very frustrated and mad because in the quran there is so much lust and hatred. I thought GOD speaking in quran as Muslims believe and preach, and I closed the doors on my childhood friend thinking HE is talking in the quran. I married at the age of 25 and had 2 kids but marriage didn’t last for long and ended in 1999. My husband was from very fanatic Muslim family of Multan. They don’t allow their girls to go to school. Girls died in the same house where they were born, Tomb of my husband’s father is main point of worship in their area. When I came back I lived with my mom and my two step brothers. I tried to find truth in the quran again. I questioned Islamic teaching which is full of lust, thinking that Islam might have some answers, but Islam has no answers but the sword to convince these who question, I received first life threat then. While I was living with my mother, she and my stepbrothers felt I might claim part of their house because they built it with money that I inherited from my father. He was personal physician of King Fahad in Saudi Arabia, and died when I was a teenager. I was questioning Islam too, so my mother with the help of my stepbrothers tried to kill me. My mother strangled me with a rope and while she was holding me she called my step brothers to pull it from both sides. All this happened in front of my children. When neighbors heard our screaming and crying they called police. My mother told every one that because I was talking against the Islam she tried to kill me although I think money was the reason. In those days my brother joined the Taleban and went to Afghanistan for Jihad (Islamic holy war). When the USA attacked Afghanistan after 911 he was already in Afghanistan leading more than 50 men in Jihad and killed many men there including USA soldiers I believe. He got wounded and had to come back, hiding with Arabs, since then he is hiding here and has changed his appearance too. I had to leave home and since then I am living alone with my kids. After studying Islam I declared that if Allah is GOD then GOD is the devil. This was a very logical conclusion after reading the quran. I left Islam and tried to build a relationship with GOD without religion. I said religions are like an illusion, they take you away from GOD. I was trying to find my Creator and I thought I would never know what HE is really like. I told an online friend of mine, "I was so ashamed of Mohammad’s words and deeds, that all my life I tried to justify him; now I have run out of excuses for him." He responded to me: "Follow JESUS, because what HE did and said you will never be ashamed of." Then he suggested: that if I like I should read the Bible. I started reading the Bible online from Genesis and got bored after few chapters, so I asked my online friend, and he said, "You should read from the Gospel of John." And my old childhood friend was talking boldly, truthfully and so beautifully in gospel of John. In chapter six I gave my heart to LORD, and it is the best thing ever happened to me. I was like Mary Magdalene who was looking for dead body of LORD JESUS and met resurrected CHRIST The one who declared that GOD is evil fell in love with the living GOD. HE had mercy on me. Before that I was living in a thick darkness which could be felt. Currently my children and I are hiding in Pakistan from my family and from Muslim fanatics. This is God’s will for the time being. My children also accepted LORD their Savior so laws are against us because the quran says to kill those who leave Islam. But LORD is more precious then life. Many times I received threats from my mother, my sister and from my ex husband. We moved to a Christian “ colony”, thinking it would be a safe place to live, but many people despise us. They think that only people born in Christian families are Christians. I blame Churches that are preaching that people who come to church and give money and tithes to the church are saved. Muslims want to kill our bodies and nominal Christians wants to kill our soul with wrong doctrines. But LORD did not call us in vain. His purpose in our lives shall be fulfilled. It is not glorious and fun life which today’s church promises, but it is life when you willingly carry your cross and deny yourself daily. That is how a single woman with her two children stands in the Lord’s strength against whole set up of the Islam and nominal Christianity. I want to write about our present situation in Pakistan. Everything became so painful for me and for my kids. We have never been so broken in our whole lives as we are in this so called Christian colony. As soon as nominal Christians learn that we are from Muslim background that there is no man in the house, they use dirty words against us and threaten us. After facing this the first time the children cried a lot and asked, “Are we dogs?” Every one comes and threaten us here and abuses us, in less then a year I had to change house three times and still we are not safe here. Sometimes I feel it is better to fall in hands of Muslims even if they would kill us than to suffer in the hand of nominal Christians. No matter what Muslims do they always strengthen my Faith in our LORD JESUS CHRIST, but nominal Christians are such a stumbling block for us and it is the darkest thing I have ever seen in my life.