Chastity

[Cote Dawg]

Hello and welcome to my thread. I am curious about sex outside of wed-lock. I am engaged to my one true love, and we ARE sexually active. I typically wouldn't let this topic be open to ANYONE (not even my own church), however, since I feel more anonymous here than there, I am willing to openly discuss it only because I am confused. What I am not confused about is how much I love her, my own connection with her, the fact that we feel married when we are together makes us feel like we are entitled to sex. I don't know if others in my church, especially my pastor, should view this as sinful behavior. I don't see it as wrong when I am with her but when I have a thought of someone else, say a family member or close friend, I can't help but feel as though I'm not right in the head by not saving it. She convinces me that it's okay, but I reassure her that her parents would disapprove, but she could care less what they think or how they feel because they could care less what we think or feel as long as we are following what is righteous. I understand that freedom comes with responsibility, and I am young, and if she were to become pregnant I would be overjoyed and mature about it. The fact is, it doesn't seem right to me no matter how much I wish it could be. The only reason I would "save it" would be because it wouldn't be "the right moment" if you catch my drift. I am in search of answers and I hope someone out there would help me.

 

[DutchChristian]

FLEE FROM ALL SEXUAL IMMORAL BEHAVIOUR!

Immediately repent yes even right NOW at this moment!

You are sinning against GOD and your friend and your own body!

1 Corinthians 6:
18 Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.

Hebrews 13:
4 Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.

Repent! And confess your sins to GOD and stop doing fornication! Get married and then it is allowed only within the safety of the marriage covenant.

Do not continue in this you have been warned!

You are in great trouble! thinking you can consume upon your own lusts... your sins are not hidden before GOD!

May God Give you understanding in this,
dutch

 

[Coconut]

1Co 7:36 In the case of an engaged couple who have decided not to marry: if the man feels that he is not acting properly toward the young woman and if his passions are too strong and he feels that they ought to marry, then they should get married, as he wants to. There is no sin in this.

(Good News Bible)

 

[revbrad]

sin is sin....you can justify it however you want, you can say because we are so in love or give yourself any other reason

fact is, according to God's Word, sex outside of marriage is sin

God will not except reasons or excuses

I know it is difficult but God can give you the strength to abstain

I Corintians 7:
1 Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. 2 Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.
3 Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.
4 The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.
5 Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.
6 But I speak this by permission, and not of commandment.
7 For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that.
8 I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, it is good for them if they abide even as I.
9 But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.

 

[Cote Dawg]

Okay then let me introduce the topic of safe sex inside wed-lock. If sex is designed for the soul purpose of reproduction, then lusting after your partner in marriage would seem to defile the bed. Correct me if I'm wrong, but if you have sex for any purpose other than having children, from you guys' inputs, it seems wrong period since the mind is not focused on divinity and faithfulness. Life would seem to crash in on you at any point if you did not have sex within God's will, even within marriage.

 

[revbrad]

Okay then let me introduce the topic of safe sex inside wed-lock. If sex is designed for the soul purpose of reproduction, then lusting after your partner in marriage would seem to defile the bed. Correct me if I'm wrong, but if you have sex for any purpose other than having children, from you guys' inputs, it seems wrong period since the mind is not focused on divinity and faithfulness. Life would seem to crash in on you at any point if you did not have sex within God's will, even within marriage.

Don't know how you get that from what was said....I don't believe that and I can't find any scripture that supports that

Hebrews 13:4 - Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.

 

[Cote Dawg]

Okay then why should I let some preacher just give some little speech to signify we are together. What about that which is already close to the heart? Maybe I'm ignorant, but I don't see how a ceremony is going to make it alright to have sex. We know our relationship to God, and every couple has their testimony, even marriages have to go to counseling because they can't "get it right in bed." I feel like if nobody else had to worry, was concerned, it would be alright, but they feel intellectual about it and want to think of it so it sends me on an emotional rollercoaster and somehow in the end it's supposed to turn out alright. I want an answer, if nobody can give me one then I feel ashamed to say that I have the antichrist right here beside me because you can't just say that it's okay. God wants us to live innocently, and that's exactly what my intentions are. I could use discipline here or there. I could fight for my right to have marriage - through ceremony and paper work, but these things are only material. I understand I can allow a spiritual experience to bond me together with God in said ceremony, however much you disagree with me here, I feel it unnecessary to go through this to make it okay for sex, when I know what is deeper in my heart. I'm sorry if I offend anyone, I refuse to say bad things about myself though.

 

[Cote Dawg]

I can abstain it just doesn't make any sense...

 

[Cote Dawg]

At the same time I feel filled with hypocrisies..

 

[revbrad]

Okay then why should I let some preacher just give some little speech to signify we are together. What about that which is already close to the heart? Maybe I'm ignorant, but I don't see how a ceremony is going to make it alright to have sex. We know our relationship to God, and every couple has their testimony, even marriages have to go to counseling because they can't "get it right in bed." I feel like if nobody else had to worry, was concerned, it would be alright, but they feel intellectual about it and want to think of it so it sends me on an emotional rollercoaster and somehow in the end it's supposed to turn out alright. I want an answer, if nobody can give me one then I feel ashamed to say that I have the antichrist right here beside me because you can't just say that it's okay. God wants us to live innocently, and that's exactly what my intentions are. I could use discipline here or there. I could fight for my right to have marriage - through ceremony and paper work, but these things are only material. I understand I can allow a spiritual experience to bond me together with God in said ceremony, however much you disagree with me here, I feel it unnecessary to go through this to make it okay for sex, when I know what is deeper in my heart. I'm sorry if I offend anyone, I refuse to say bad things about myself though.

Because God instituted marriage.
You obviously believe there is something wrong with what you are doing or you wouldn't have brought it up here.
God's ways are not our ways. He is God, the creator, does the thing created control the creator?
It is not for us to determine that if I'm ok with it then it is ok.
You have a choice to make, follow God or follow your desire.
You can love without having sex.

 

[Cote Dawg]

when you say follow god or follow desire, are you implying at all that it can be good to follow desire, because of course it's good to follow God. I just need you to be real direct with me here.

 

[revbrad]

when you say follow god or follow desire, are you implying at all that it can be good to follow desire, because of course it's good to follow God. I just need you to be real direct with me here.

I meant you have a choice...you can follow fleshly desire or you can follow God

It is good if you desire the things of God and follow them

The flesh also has desires for things that fulfill emotional, physical or psychological want. These things often give us pleasure and make us feel good in many ways. The Bible says there is pleasure in sin for a season. When that season is ended you must reap what you have sown.

I understand when you love someone you want to express that love. I know how it feels to share yourself with another and have them share theirself with you. I know your heart and mind can tell you it's ok because we are in love. I also know the physical, mental and emotional gratification it brings. But above all this I know that it is not pleasing to God, it is sin.
I have been where you are, I told myself the same things. I was never quite ok with it deep in my heart, because it goes against God's command. When I finally got to the point that I wanted to obey God rather than my flesh, I had to make a change.

If you are sincere about wanting to do what is right, go to God with an open heart, ask Him to speak to you. Be willing to hear and obey what He says. If you do this you will be spiritually more content. You will still have to fight the flesh but God will give you what you need to be victorious.

 

[revbrad]

“The monstrosity of sexual intercourse outside marriage is that those who indulge in it are trying to isolate one kind of union (the sexual) from all the other kinds of union which were intended to go along with it and make up the total union.” ~ C.S. Lewis

“God created marriage. No government subcommittee envisioned it. No social organization developed it. Marriage was conceived and born in the mind of God.” ~ Max Lucado

 

[DutchChristian]

I just need you to be real direct with me here.

You have no option but to repent!

REPENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YOU ARE IN DANGER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Stop the fornication! Get serious with God! Flee from all sexual immorality which wars against the soul!

REPENT TODAY = STOP IT and TURN AWAY from the sin

if not..., well basically you are cursing yourself to DEATH and your own body to DEATH and the friend with whom you have the relationship to DEATH, you are sinning against GOD! What more is there to say? The devil wants to let you think: it is allright because we "love" eachother..... But this is not love this is downright selfish and evil. Now you be a man and take control over your own lust STOP fornicating NOW surrender all to GOD Repent and get married first asap before doing anything: yes that means: do not touch eachother anywhere! that includes: no french kissing nothing oral or with the hands no sleeping together in the same bed overnight or the same room (even if ye plan to do nothing), and do not be with her closed of in the same room without someone else lest ye be tempted.

Do not underestimate as this situation is VERY very serious!

as it is DEATH is knocking at your door.

This is my second warning!

1 Corinthians 6:
18 Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.

9 Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind,
10 Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God.

Stop playing games with GOD! you reap what you sow....

in this case it is DEATH

yes i am talking about DEATH


repent ye, and believe the Gospel!

And then you will have LIFE The Lord Jesus Christ The Son of GOD!

1 John 1:
9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

 

[Brad Huber]

Truth be told, probably most people here have had sex outside marriage. Its just that they know from experience that it has always led to grief. The difference between shacking up with someone without being married and being married is only a matter of real love. Not this "I love how you make me feel, so I love you" which is not love at all, but caring for someone enough to devote your life to them in front of witnesses, and so recorded for all to see, and to make vows in front of witnesses. If you dont care enough to risk a broken marriage down the road, then you dont love that person. If you live with the desire you have, and call it love, then you belittle love and your girlfriend.

 

[Thiscrosshurts]

Mark 10:8 “And the two shall be one flesh; after that they are not two, but one flesh.”
Mark 10:9 What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”


"Let not man separate" is not a suggestion it is a divine command like "let there be light".
The marriage covenant itself is a manifestation to the world of the heavenly concept of Christ and the church.

Ephesians 5:31 "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh."
Ephesians 5:32 This is a profound mystery--but I am talking about Christ and the church.

It's not a ceremony or paper.
It's a "I'll never leave you or forsake you" thing.

 

[Cote Dawg]

Oh I feel the burn... She came over yesterday and we were being mature and had a good time until her dad became involved or time ran short, then everything falls apart (he calls me her achey-breaky game - her heart break hotel). I can't help the way I feel but I am getting better at controlling my emotions. My intentions are good, I just don't know how to follow through with them properly. I end up crushing myself beneath the weight of these chains. All in all, I am finding that hell is a self created process. Oh how it eats you alive... I am keeping my thoughts away from sexual immoral behavior, it's just difficult because it's like taking a drug from a long term substance abuser. I am trying though - sometimes I feel that's all I can do. It's almost like it's becoming increasingly difficult to discern God's will for my person. I am turning my life around - I quit the drugs, my language is getting better, I told my fiancé we need chastity.. It's still not enough - none-the-less I won't revert back to my old ways - I refuse. I have great faith in the lord. I am confused about salvation however. I have been saved and I know Jesus wants me to be there with him, and I am willing to make sacrifice, even to the death. I am just lost and so alone.

 

[Cote Dawg]

I believe I need a miracle... Almost desperately.

 

[Thiscrosshurts]

I am trying though - sometimes I feel that's all I can do.

Until the power of God delivers you that is all you can do.
When it hits you you won't have to wonder whether it is God or not because frustration and confusion will be replaced by peace and joy.

I believe I need a miracle... Almost desperately.

I believe your in line for one,you are seeking truth even if it's not what you want to hear and that takes the kind of wisdom that only God gives.
I pray in the name Of Jesus that the fire of God fall on you and burn out everything that is not from him.
I pray that the power of life that Jesus came to give us would so overfill you that rivers of living water would pour forth from you like a fountain and that God would give you power to look full into his face and be changed into his image.

 

[Cote Dawg]

It's especially difficult when you feel so judged or even frowned upon when you really are trying with the best of your abilities, with good intentions. I wish I could be smarter than that. I need to find that balance in life that keeps me organized, fruitful, and full of light.