Hi everyone. I don't know what it is what I'm trying to say. But I'm in a real bind here. Yesterday my wife told me that she wants a divorce and left me last November. Since then I've been in a treatment program with the Salvation Army where I've been learning and growing spirituality. Before coming here I had an alcohol problem and as a result of that I was really a bad husband. I didn't physically abuse my wife or anything of that matter but I was not always telling the truth. Before the corona virus hit I would see her every so often and we would talk about getting back together, but since then she's been going back and forth about it and I don't know what to do. I know it feels hard and feel like I deserve this and am willing to turn my life around as a result. Since then I've completely closed down my social media (Facebook, Instagram) because I don't want to deal with the burden of her messaging me anymore. She says that she doesn't want to talk to me until she contacts me and I feel like I'm running away. I love my wife but I feel like an ex-convit that has found Jesus that no one believes. I've been trying to pray and remain strong but at the same time I know that God loves us/me and don't want to shut him out because of this. Right now I'm trying to take the first steps to actually enroll into a bible college because it's something that I've been wanting to do for a long time now, but I fear that I'm going to get to a point where I might begin struggling with my faith.