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Betrayed by a close Christian brother

Discussion in 'Introduction' started by Crossbearer, Aug 2, 2011.

  1. I'm needing some advice. I recently called my fellow Christian, brother in Christ about a slight issue between himself and my husband because my husband does not do too much for himself and this brother in Christ's family and our family spent alot of time together at each other's houses. Well, he is also friend's with my father in law and after I asked if everything was okay between himself and my husband and he said yes, I asked him to please pray for my father in law because he was having alot of spiritual issues and was caught in wrongdoings. This brother then went and invited my inlaws over to his house while me and my family were away visiting my aunt in the hospital and "confronted" my father in law and mother in law and humiliated them. They now want nothing to do with me now even after I have tried to explain exactly what happened, but they are also not speaking to my husband, who is their son and didn't have anything to do with it and they believe the one who humiliated them because he has twisted it all around. My inlaws are so mad that they have also said absolutely horrible things about our children and they seem to have a spirit of revenge. This person that betrayed my confidence also caused problems in the church alot in the past, but we did not know until recently. Our pastor is away but when he comes back I'm going to tell him.
  2. Hi Crossbearer,

    First let me say Welcome to Talk Jesus. We are glad to have you here among the many members of the body of Jesus Christ.

    I know how bad it can hurt when someone who you feel you can trust does something to hurt not only you but others in your family. But, you must remember that our own Lord and Savior was betrayed by someone He loved too...Judas Iscariot one of the disciples of our Lord betrayed Him with a kiss. A diciple and friend who followed our Lord and claimed to love Him turned Him over to authorities to be condemned...but then can we not say that we too have caused the death of our Lord and hurt Him at one time or another in our lives? Are we not the ones who He took the place for? Taking the punishment that was meant for us? Yet, what did He do? While He hung on that cross Jesus said outloud to God the Father

    Luke23:34 Father forgive them,for they do not know what they do.

    This person you trusted chose to do something that wasn't his place to do and then your in-laws went and chose anger as the way to deal with it...we all have control of how we deal with things and yes I think its safe to say at one time or another we have all gotten angry and done or said things we regret later on...for none of us is perfect I know im not perfect. We are allowed to be angry however we are not allowed and should not use that anger to hurt others with our harsh words or in our deeds...instead we should take our anger and turn it toward the one who is seeking to destroy the peace
    and joy we have in our Lord and who is it that does this...the enemy satan himself. We should not come against each other but the very one who is the root cause of the hurt, anger and betrayal. Through Jesus we need to rebuke him and by using the very word of our Lord let him we are not gonna let our joy and peace be taken. By using angry words or actions to hurt each we are infact empowering the enemy, we must never ever do that but instead let the words of our hearts, and mouths as well as our actions be that of forgiveness and kindness.

    Ephesians4:26-32 Be Ye Angry and Sin Not; let not the sun go donw upon your wrath; Neither give place to the devil. Let him that stole steal no more; but rather let him labour, working with his hands the thing which is good, that he may have to give to him that needeth. Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers. And grieve not the Holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption. Let all bitterness, and wrath and anger and clamour, and evil speaking be put away from you with all malice: And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.

    What is being said is not give the devil the right keep on stealing from you. He wants nothing more than to steal your peace and joy. Your brother in christ and your in-laws chose the way the would react to what was presented to them, but you my friend can be an example to them by chosing to take your hurt and anger to God and giving them totally to Him and if led to tell your pastor but let God guide you and let the words of your mouth be the words of our Lord Himself...let nothing be said out of anger or hurt but instead out of love and forgiveness as Jesus Himself did upon that cross there were no words of anger spoken only of love and forgiveness.

    Things right now aren't so good with your in-laws or with this person who hurt you, but through all of this Our Lord is providing you with His peace, comfort and and your family will make it through...because why? Because you not only know our Lord but
    have Him within you and greater is He that is in you than he that is in the world. Continue to pray for and forgive those who have hurt you and who are right now angry themselves and need to let it go. The enemy won't know what to do with've heard the saying " kill them with kindness" well it works that way with the enemy too..the more you forgive and the more you speak in the love of our Lord Jesus the more it kills the! So, kill the enemy with the love and kindness of our Lord.

    I will be praying for you, your family and inlaws and knowing that God's hand is upon everyone of you in this situation and that He will restore your families once more and i'll be praying for the one who betrayed you knowing that God will speak to His heart and he will be convicted by the very truth of our Lord.

    God bless you now and always!
  3. #3 skipbeat, Aug 2, 2011
    Last edited: Aug 2, 2011
    Welcome to TJ Crossbearer .May the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Let me share with you a reading i was just recently reading when i came across your post my dear sister in Christ. Thought it might be a bit different i believe it's something to learn from.

    "Moses asked the Lord, 'Why are You so displeased with me that You burden me with all this people?' " —Numbers 11:11 Moses' ministry to the Israelites eventually became so burdensome that he asked God to do him the favor of killing him at once (Nm 11:15). Has your service in the church ever been so burdensome that you'd just as soon die?

    Moses was exasperated because the people thought "the cucumbers, the melons, the leeks, the onions, and the garlic" more important than their God-given freedom (Nm 11:5). You may be exasperated because the parishioners think bingo, sports, fund-raisers, and socials more important than personal commitment to Jesus.

    You are at a point where you will either harden your heart against the people in your parish or receive a miraculous outpouring of unconditional love for the members of your parish. Jesus loved the Church so much He gave His life for her (Eph 5:25). As Jesus' followers, we must accept the grace to do the same. Even if rejected, persecuted, and crucified by the members of the Church, by God's grace we will love the Church. We will forgive our fellow parishioners and lovingly embrace them even if they are not only our brothers and sisters, but also our enemies. Love the Church as Christ loves the Church.

    Prayer: Father, make my love for the Church humanly unexplainable.

    Promise: "People brought [Jesus] all the afflicted, with the plea that He let them do no more than touch the tassel of His cloak. As many as touched it were fully restored to health." —Mt 14:35-36

    Praise: St. Alphonsus gave up his law practice to become a priest. In his priestly ministry, at the age of twenty-seven, he fought heresy with simplicity and kindness.

    Taken from: One Bread, One Body
  4. The best thing to do in this situation would be to apologize to your inlaws and ask their forgiveness for talking about them with someone else and then if you say anything more about this let it be to God and Him alone, don't even tell your pastor. If anyone needs to know let God be the one to tell them.
  5. I'm sorry to hear about this. You must always be carful of who you talk to, and it's always better to be open. Jesus instructs us to be justified at all times, not maintaining the appearance of sin. If you have anything to say about someone it's better to engage them personally, but you already know this now.

    I won't ellaborate any further as AbbysAunt has given you very sound advice. Very much I agree with what AbbysAunt says.
  6. #6 Brother Mike, Aug 3, 2011
    Last edited: Aug 3, 2011

    Why do this??? Who's fault is this??

    Jas 5:16 Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.

    did not say.... Tell other peoples faults...........

    All the more reason's that we need to be led by the Spirit before setting in motion things that are not the Will of God..

    Jesus Is Lord.
  7. Crossbearer,

    It is important to be led by the Holy Spirit in all things. It sounds like you have experienced what occurs when one does not go to the Lord on handling things, and puts matters into their own hands...the result of disobedience. The Scripture that stands out about this is Matt. 7:1-5. Especially, Matt. 7:2 "For just as you judge and criticize and condemn others, you will be judged and criticized and condemned, and in accordance with the measure you [use to] deal out to others, it will be dealt out again to you." (Amp) By the title you chose to use towards your Christian brother, you have gone about betraying those of your own family also. This is a difficult lesson to learn and now you have seen the repurcussions of it...both from your own heart's desires and the ways and hearts of others. But it is important not to carry out into more judgment towards them (even though their actions were wrong, or their responses were wrong). Your own actions by reaching out to them without first discussing with your husband and seeking the Lord fully on how to go about this, has resulted in poor judgment on your part too. Now many people are hurt and in the process and now the Lord has revealed hidden natures within hearts that need to be addressed by the Holy Spirit (1 Cor. 4:5; Job 12:22; Ecc. 12:14; Jer. 16:17; John 21:22-23; Rom. 2:1; 2:16; 1 Cor. 3:13; James 5:9).

    First, repent to the Lord on this and then ask Him what you need to do in order to get your heart right in these areas so this doesn't happen again. In addition, it may require an apology to your husband. This may take awhile to deal with (or time to pass); before things are resolved but the important thing to do is, don't fester in it and allow the enemy to make your heart cold, resentful, unforgiving, etc. Instead, use this as an opportunity for the Lord to minister to your heart on some root issues that caused this to occur in the first place. Examine oneself in this matter (2 Cor. 13:5-9; Lam. 3:40; 1 Cor. 11:28; Matt. 5:22-30; James 1:9-14; Jer. 17:9).

    Don't continue to focus on the matter entirely right now until you have gone to the Lord in what He is asking of you that has resulted out of this, regarding your own walk with Him first. I am sure if you do this, you will see the greater picture of what God has allowed in this...a chance to change one's heart and others' also (Isa. 55:8-9). May the Lord reveal His heart of mercy.


    P.S. We can only pray that everyone involved in this will examine their own hearts' intentions and apply them to the guidance of the Holy Spirit and allow Him to change their ways and hearts (including oneself).

  8. I'm afraid you misunderstood.
  9. To everyone who replied, thank you but I must go to the Pastor because this person is now going all over the church spreading lies about me and he hangs with my father in law.
  10. What does your husband think you should do?

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