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Hi all,

Well, where can I start? I am new to this site and I came across it because I am desperately seeking prayer and encouragement.

I gave my life to Jesus when I was 12 yrs old (I am now 24) and when I look back on all the promises I made to the Lord I cant believe how much I have turned away from what is right in the Lord.
I am not making excuses but I have had some bad experiences in the church and I found it very hard to forgive and forget. As a result of this, I stopped attending church and I slowly started to depart from God.
All the things that I promised not to do, I ended up doing and I did not feel bad or remorseful about it.

Things came to ahead when I decided to be like my worldly friends. Instead of waiting for the Lord to bring me my chosen husband, I thought that I would go out and find someone for myself. That person was not of the Lord and I ended up sinning. To make matters worse, I later found out that this guy had been lying to me and was a married man and I was not the only "extra" lady in his life.
I am scared that this man may have passed on a disease to me and it is eating me up. I cant eat, I cant sleep and I am so sick with worry because I dont want to die.

I now feel so awful and so dirty and that God would not stand to have me back as his daughter. I have spoken to my mother about this (She is a born again christian) and I prayed with her about it but because I dont have a church to go to or any christian friends I have no one else to talk to about this.

Please pray for me as I am so scared and depressed that I have not been able to go to work for two weeks.

All comments are welcome.

Hi Chi's Daughter. No doubt God has led you here. You will (& have already been) prayed for.

You said you did things with no remorse. At the time that was true, but you seem to be remorseful now. That is the Holy Spirit tugging at you. God loves you dearly & wants you to stop fighting Him.

I understand the feeling awful & dirty, but you are no more so than any of the rest of us have been. None of us is truly deserving of what God has done for us, but He did it because He loves us all. We can't "clean up enough" so don't think that you have to "get it all together" before you come back to God. Just come back to Him. He will guide you as to what you need to give up & how you need to change. His leading & His timing. You have, however, identified some crucial things that you already know is outside of God's Will for you. With that having been done....change those things. Mistakes are made - ask forgiveness & repent - learn from them & move on.

How lovely that you have a Christian mother to pray with. You are truly blessed that way!! Do continue to pray with her & learn from this Godly woman.

God has a plan for you. It is clearly obvious that He is working in your life. He will not push tho - you have to accept His work. The devil will only have as much ground as you give him.
welcome chi's daughter

welcome to truth and fellowship in the name of Jesus

no one here is perfect and no one here has always walked the righteous path. for we are all human and we all fail, we all sin, stumble and fall

it is only through the great mercy and majestic forgiveness of our Lord that any of us are able to stand. we all have the opportunity to be washed clean by Christ, to be washed by His redeeming blood

Isaiah 1:18
"Come now, let us reason together,"
says the LORD.
"Though your sins are like scarlet,
they shall be as white as snow;
though they are red as crimson,
they shall be like wool.

you have taken the first step my friend in talking to Christ, in spending your time in prayer with Him. please do continue this daily, reading and resting upon His words. He is life and His life will flood into your life. He forgives you if you place yourself in front of Him with a humble and contrite heart, placing yourself open to His healing and His forgiveness.

leave these worries and concerns with Him sis, place them at His feet and let Him take the burden, for this is what He wants to do for you, and in truth what He has already done.

as sapphire correctly stated, God has a plan for you, let Him into your life, let His love flood through your very being, and then stand fast in this love, stand hard against the evil one, always serving and always loving, always allowing this love to flow through you into the lives of all around.

dear Lord, i beseech Thee this day to look upon our sister chi's daughter, she is a child of Yours. be with her today please, cleanse her from this past, strengthen her and comfort her, console her and bring her out of the shadows into the truth and light that is your life. we ask this in the name of Your Son, our Lord and Saviour Jesus

God bless



In my past I have known what it is to feel I have sunk as low as I possibly could due to the influence of the wrong guy. eg I had sunk so low, I voluntarily used the gift God had given me, to draw a picture of the devil for this guy to have tattooed onto his arm, I was under his sinful control so much! I did a lot worse and he did a lot worse than this, if you could possibly imagine, that I can't even mention.

I cringe now when I think about how deluded I was and how off the track my life became in my early twenties. Until the Lord gave me a massive wake-up call.

Although, my present husband is a disbeliever I think at least he is a good man. Take heart, you may not think you deserve it but give yourself a little credit for realising that the Lord is your salvation so quickly. It took me a heck of a lot longer and more terrible mistakes than I care to mention before I got to that point.

At that time I was surrounded by people and felt alone, God is there for you and can become more intimate with you than any man could even dream of. Even the most Godly men and women are not without sin.

May God guide you and give you strength :girl_hug:
Hi all,

I just want to thank you for all of your supportive comments and scriptures as it has made me feel a lot better.

I would just like to mention that I will be going for blood tests very soon and I would like you guys to pray that I will return with perfect health.

I will keep you all posted on the results. I have faith and am expecting that all will be well.

thanks to God for using people to remind me of all HIS words and promises in life.
to mulyadi, an indonesian i met in cbr, when i was on my my struggling times...he is a blessing to me.
to TJ, coz while upon searching for confirmation, you are there to comfort me..
people i met in TJ, like mommy diana, retred707, vasu, irwin and others (too many to mentio), they are all blessings from the Lord..
after a year or two of not going to church, i decided to come back..my family and churchmates are all happy and i know like what Mul had told me, "the LORD is more happy than anyboby else."

Thank YOU, LORD!
may all these guys continue to be a blessing to everybody...
God bless you more and more!
this is to chi's daughter: i really empathiez with what you are going through!!! i am going through the same situation myself right now. i felt like i was reading my own story. i'm new to the site myself and i stumbled on it while i was looking for someone i can just talk to. i'm scared and feel so alone. it's nice you can talk to your mother who is also born again. i feel like i have no one to talk to and it's eating up inside.
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First, I wanna say that I'm glad because God's love is very very loyal, and once again I can see that His love is amazing, and He loves you, He'll always love you!!!
Second thing, I know this must be hard for u, all I can say is that I'll be praying for you. We're family in Christ, and I think support between us no matter what is important and necessary to keep our faith, and our way in God.
please don't feel alone, because you're not alone at all, no matter what, our Lord finds His way to let us know that He's around, He won't ever let you go.
It's just that sometimes, we can't see Him, or we can't hear Him. Anyway, the thing is... He's telling you right now, that He's there for you. Always, and under every circumstance. He wants to hold you, and take care of your broken heart. Just let Him do His wonderful work in you...
Thank you for sharing this.. ^^
Sorry if my english's not so well...
blessings to u from Chile!
Chi's Daugther . Nadia.
All The Things God Ask Us He Do It Just Not To Have Us Sad As It Seems You Are Now.
But At Hte Moment It Is Not The Most Important.
We All Are Here Becausde We Want To Know That We Willl Support You In Our Pray. We Really Want You To Fell Well.
I Really Believe That God Have Forgive You And Won't Permit You Get Sik.
He Is Robably Not Looking For Your Sin Anymore, He Have Gave You His Love, And He Won't Remember More Your Action.
It Is Really Somethings Has Its Consequence, But With The Love Of Your Brothers And Sister Ingod, Your Family Everything Will Be Better Tomorrow. Jesus Will Give All You Need A Husband, A Family, Your, Health And Most Than All.
First He Will Give You His Love.
Not By Your Problem, Please Never Live Him Again, Doesn't Metter What Would Happen, Never Lives Him He Must Be The Reason Of Your Live.
Because You Are It Reasons For Have Gonne To The Cross.
He Loves You A Lot.
Get Ok.
Keep Well.
Stay Calm.
Jesus Is With You, You Are Not Alone.
Keep Your Faith,pray A Lot, Don't Be Sad.
Everything Is Gonna Be Alright.
This is to all who feel this undenying guilt over who they have been in the past. No one on this earth is without sin.

Text taken from a book that I am reading that has given me great insight.
"Born to Grow for new and used christians" by Larry Richards.

In the New Testiment "guilt" is mentioned only 6 times, only 16 in the Old. But 60 times in the New Testament alone God speaks of forgiveness.

Instead of responding to sin with the judgment it deserves, God has determined to be gracious. He reaches out in love to touch the sinner. Touching us in love, He sends off or forgives our sin.
This is why we come to Jesus when we sense guilt. Jesus continues to send off sin. He knows our inadequacies and how prone to failure we are. He touches us, and sends away our weaknesses. Jesus knows our perverseness and how quick we are to turn to our own way. He touches us, and sends away the results of our willfulness and the willfulness itself. And then he remembers our sins no more.
Realizing that "I'm forgiven" goes a long way in changing our approach to living.
here are some Bible study that might make you feel a little better.
1 John 1:8, Jer. 31:34, Eph. 4:32, Psalm 103:2-3