Am I losing the battle?

[wendy03]

Well here I am once more. I dont even know where to begin with this.
First I guess I am sad to say that I have not been moved much more than when I first came to TJ. I guess in ways I have, but I feel like I am standing still right now. I hear people talk all the time how they gave their lives to God and wham!- everything then fell into place with them. Well I have given my life to God and still feel like I am getting nowhere. So I wonder do those people lie? Or am I really not as free as I thought I was? I am starting to doubt everything has everyone has ever said to me- I read my bible daily and wonder why it is so hard for me to believe that it is the absolute truth? Dont get me wrong- I DO believe it is the truth, but it seems far easier for me to put my beliefs into what I have always known rather than believe more so that the bible is the only truth. I guess 38 years of being trapped in nothing but despair and darkness has made me think by sight and feelings rather than go on faith that all is not what it seems.
I question God daily- not in a bad way but in searching for answers. I pray constantly but still seem to be standing still.
A few days ago, something happened that I have asked for to happen for awhile now- and even later on I asked God to show Himself to me somehow if what happened came from Him- well I believe later in the evening He did show Himself in ways most people would say were coincidences. I was on top of the world! The next day- on top of the world still. Well today and yesterday, I have not been able to stop crying and worrying and asking "Why God?" If that was really from Him, how can I feel like this now? Why have I so much doubt now after all of that? Once again I have reverted to sight and feelings.
I do always ask God for wisdom and discernment but never seem to get it. I pray things that are in line with Gods word because I read of the things in which I ask for. A lot of people make it seem as if having a conversation with God each day is as easy as me speaking to my kids. And that may be so- then why am I missing His voice? None of this is easy for me and I just dont know what to do anymore. I wonder if I really am saved after all or if I have done something wrong? I know that doubt and fear is of the devil and not of God- but for the last few days, I seem to have no strength left to fight anymore. I ask for it, yet I seem to fall deeper and deeper. Everyone I know is in prayer with me and for me- so where is God? And I dont mean that in a bad way- I just mean I had put so much faith and belief that my life would be so much greater once I gave it over to God- and it is not. Not in the ways I expected.
So here is my request- please pray that all the things I ask for from God come to pass- wisdon, His will for me, for me to hear the voice of The Lord in my heart. For His guidance into all truth. For relief from the mess I seem to be in. I just want to be set free from the pain and the hurt and have joy and peace that surpasses all understanding. I just want to go day to day and be free from it all and be happy and not hurt anymore.
I know there are other that have been through this same thing, but I feel so alone and I hurt so much.
Thank You for taking the time to read this and pray for me.
Wendy

 

[Br. Bear]

Who are you listening to?

Greetings Wendy,

It seems that the battle is on in a big way... and that is usually a sure sign of victory around the corner, or over the hill.

As this is a prayer request, I will not go into counselling you on your situation, but rather, let me re-assure you that the Lord does love you, and as much as you seek Him, you will find Him right with you... and I ask you to listen to Him... yes, I know you say you can not hear Him, but I know He is talking to you... and His name is Jesus.

There are two masters... one lies and creates doubts.. the other, the Lord Jesus Christ, is Truth... and sets you and all who will listen to truth, free.

Every day, we all have the option to listen to lies or listen to truth. The times He gives you like the one just passed, are for you to hold on to in moments when the lies seem too strong to resist.... and Wendy... we all must choose, this day, whom we shall serve.

Reading your Bible every day will not make you listen to Truth. We are instucted in it's pages. Please take this instruction and know whom you serve this day....
For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh:
(For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds
Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ; 2Corinthians 10:3-5

and Wendy, Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.
And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.
Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you. Philippians 4:6-9


Bless you sister ....><>

Br. Bear

 

[Fragrant Grace]

Amen Br. Bear

Dear Wendy

My heart goes out to you. As Christians we have a subtle and cunning enemy who is expert at sowing anxiety and doubt in believers hearts. But Wendy he is a defeated foe and Jesus is Victor. Trust His precious redeeming blood and not your feelings.

Loving Lord Jesus,
May Wendy feel Your closeness right now. May she feel the reassurance that Your blood has cleansed her heart from sin and that is not dependant upon her feelings. May she rest in the promise that You will never leave her nor forsake her. Lord lift her out of this pit of doubt and anxiety and flood her heart with Your loving kindness.
Thank You Lord Jesus for hearing this prayer.

Cause me to know the way wherein I should walk Ps 143:8

God bless you sister I will be praying for you

Julia

 

[Trishann]

Wendy when you done all to stand you just keep standing, keep reading the Word of God, keep praying. God is faithful and He will see you through.

Don't fret over what others seems to be in the Lord because you are you and one of a kind. God knows:
He know everything about you...
He know when you sit down and when you rise.
Greater is He that is in you then he that is in the world.

God has a purpose just for you and you only.

Sending hugs, Trish

 

[Br. Bear]

Wendy,

greetings again in Jesus name.

Can I ask if you have been baptised in the Holy Ghost?

Acts 19:2 He said unto them, Have ye received the Holy Ghost since ye believed? And they said unto him, We have not so much as heard whether there be any Holy Ghost.

Bless you ....><>

Br. Bear

 

[Fragrant Grace]

Dear Wendy

I have continued to pray for you through the night. Your post touched my heart sister and I felt led to share these words with you.

Sometimes we are called to pass through a smoking furnace. It is difficult to bear the heat of the furnace and the all-pervading smoke that blinds spiritual vision. But if you look carefully you will see the burning lamp of the Lord's presence with you. You need to remember today that where there is a smoking furnace, there is also inevitably a burning lamp of hope and blessing.
(Roy Hill - Choice Gleanings calendar)

Lord Jesus bless Wendy now. May the light of Your love burn in her heart chasing all doubt and uncertainty away. Jesus thank You for hearing this prayer and for carrying Your chidren through the furnace of trial and temptation.

God bless you Wendy... I continue to pray.

Julia

 

[wendy03]

Oh my God my God! I am so grateful for all of your pryaers! I am so thakful that I mean so much to Lord that He has sent me to this site to share and receive!! For so so long I never knew I even meant that much to anyone (except my kids) that anyone would want to pray and have encouragement for me. I know nothing is by chance- all is ordered by the Lord. So I know it is He that sent me here those months ago back in April.
I ask that you all continue to pray for me and my mess. And it is a mess.
This all came about because my husband and I separated. I realized then that I needed God in my life or else I would never have anything that wasnt turmoil and heart ache. I didnt realize that this would be so hard and that I had so much to learn. But I thank You all from my heart and I thank Lord almighty for leading me to the people of TJ to help me in my struggles!!
Thank You,
Wendy

 

[Coconut]

Dear Sister, take your eyes off yourself, take your eyes off the battle, and focus only on Christ ~ the battle is HIS, and He has never lost a battle yet.


Blessings


Deu 32:10 "He found him in a desert land, and in the howling waste of the wilderness; he encircled him, he cared for him, he kept him as the apple of his eye.
Deu 32:11 Like an eagle that stirs up its nest, that flutters over its young, spreading out its wings, catching them, bearing them on its pinions,
Deu 32:12 the LORD alone guided him, no foreign god was with him.



Job 39:27 Is it at your command that the eagle mounts up and makes his nest on high?
Job 39:28 On the rock he dwells and makes his home, on the rocky crag and stronghold.

Isa 40:27 Why do you say, O Jacob, and speak, O Israel, "My way is hidden from the LORD, and my right is disregarded by my God"?
Isa 40:28 Have you not known? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable.
Isa 40:29 He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength.
Isa 40:30 Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted;
Isa 40:31 but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.

 

[Property Of God]

Wendy, No one is 100% sure all of the time, only a perfect human could be sure of everything all the time, and you know that nobody's perfect, these Christians who say that everything is going right, aren't lying, I'm sure we all had that feeling at least once.

There will be times when you doubt, who wouldn't? Jesus understands and is there for you.

We need a constant reminder, we need facts for life, I recommend you read "Mere Christianity" by C.S Lewis, he'll surprise you, he was an atheist himself and he is explaining Christianity on facts and science, not just faith and what we feel, he'll silent all the doubts you may have.

 

[jbpichu]

Wendy, at times in our walk it may seem like we're stepping on thorns and thistles and we may feel like we've been deafened to God's voice. It may feel like the enemy has stolen our armor and has blunted our weapon in this war. However, let me encourage you with this: Take refuge in the Lord, for He shall hide you under the shadow of His wing. Right now there is a battle you are in the midst of, but continue to fight and the Lord shall deliver you. All suffering in this life is to prune us and bear forth fruits. It is to cause our faith to grow, and for our trust to be deeper with God; He knows everything that shall happen to you, but nothing happens unless He allows it to.

Also Wendy, like Br. Bear asked, have you been baptized in the Holy Spirit? Considering this is a prayer request board, I won't go into this any further.

Lord Jesus, I pray for Wendy. Jesus, watch her and protect her from the enemy's attacks. Fill her with your Spirit, minister to her and give her the strength she needs in this time. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.