Advice - Girl not as Christian as I thought??

[hgchrisfor]

I've been hanging out with this girl for a few months and she is great, but a little different than I thought she was when I first met her.

I was sort of led to believe she was a "strict" Christian that went to church each Sunday, read the Bible at minimum weekly, rarely drank etc. and wanted to grow in Christ.

Now I know she doesn't go to church much, or really read the bible and doesn't seem to have an issue with premarital sex or the ideas of trying drugs. Now I can forgive her of her past, but I don't really know if she has fully asked for forgiveness of things she has done in the past and fully repented, even though she got baptized.

She says she has always been Christian, but I don't think she truly has lived as a Christian. Sort of still growing. And I know she wants someone to guide her and help get her on track. But I am worried about how she doesn't really feel bad about past sins or the idea of new sins. I think she has a friend that is a bad influence too.

I just get so worked up about salvation, I just don't know what to do moving forward. - I would hate to progress for years with her and possibly marry and then find out she wants to try a drug or goes and and tries one. Or is not willing to go to church and study etc. and don't her sins were a big deal.

I worry about my salvation but of course would want my wife to be saved. - I really feel like I was led to her strongly. Just so much happened to get me to her, and as I said she is great. I just want her to become a "real" Christian but don't know if she will.

I don't know if I should try to progress and help her; or if I was led to her to learn a lesson and need to walk away.

I would appreciate some replies and prayers to just help bring me clarity and knowledge to help me figure out what I need to do in my life, in all aspects: how I should proceed with this girl, what I need to do in my life, what I should do in my career etc. I just need clarity, knowledge and to be uplifted.

 

[Property Of God]

It's obvious from this post and your previous posts that you're very disturbed by this relationship and you don't think it's right, here's the point, if you're not convinced yourself that you wanna date her, then this is your answer, I also don't know how old you are and I don't wanna assume anything, but what if you were really jumping ahead too quickly and rushing and thinking about marriage already when you don't even know if you wanna be with her?

Please take your time and be her friend for now, show her how to be a Christ-follower, not just a *Christian* and pray for her, but do it as a brother and a friend, and see how it goes from there, doesn't that sound a little better?

 

[hgchrisfor]

We are not "officially" dating. We have just slowly been getting to know one another exclusively. And as I said I was strongly led to her.

I can list out many times in my life where I know without a doubt it was Gods doing, either helping me, guiding me or leading me. And in this case I truly feel I was led, almost pushed to her.

But I don't know if I was led to her to really pursue and progress with her, or to learn a lesson from etc.

Can Satan really lead like this? I know I have been tempted by Satan to sin throughout life, but can he deceive and lead like this?

I think I probably did put some high expectations one her without really knowing. And I will know more actually talking to her about this, I just wanted to get forum thoughts.

I have just been striving to live as Christian as possible, sort of a "strict" lifestyle. Sure I have been tempted to sin or lust, or covet or think greedily. But I truly feel bad and repent. I just worry so much about getting to Heaven it confuses me. And I wonder a lot how my life parter will affect me getting to Heaven, as well as themselves.

I guess if she is willing to continue to grow and really repent and turn from sin, then there should be no issues??

 

[Property Of God]

You're heading down a religious type of path, this isn't why Jesus died for us, or desired us to live, for example, take the Pharisees, they did everything Moses taught them, very carefully, they just relied about works only, not salvation, not their heart, they were judgmental and thought they were more righteous than everyone.

God doesn't want you to be perfect, he wants you to believe in Him, love Him and listen to His words and this will change your heart, don't be like religious arrogant people who think if they sin, that's it for them, you'll always sin, and Jesus will be there to forgive you.

I'll post a short video on the Entertainment section and I want you to watch it, it's by a pastor called "Mark Driscoll" he's from Seattle and he's my favorite pastor (next to John Piper too )

Wish you the best, you sound like a really good guy.

 

[AudreyNicole]

Trust Issues with God

I agree with the previous post. It sounds like you are just trying to follow the rules. But being a Christian isn't about following the rules... its about love.

You say you keep worrying about your salvation. Did you know that worrying is a sin? It is a sin just like every other sin and God hates it.

"A man who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do." James 1

"But the man who has doubts is condemned if he eats, because his eating is not from faith; and everything that does not come from faith is sin." Romans 14:23

"O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:25-34

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7

Soooo, long story short... STOP WORRYING! Just do it, its not that hard, trust me. Ask God for help, but don't worry because that limits your faith.

AGAIN, SALVATION HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU. YOU CAN NOT SAVE YOURSELF (and neither can a wife). Only Jesus Christ can do that, and as long as you have Him, you are saved. You are not perfect. And you can't do anything that is perfect. You cannot do anything on your own to please God. You can't do anything without Christ. So, once you have Him, you have everything, and WALLA!! You are saved.

Again, just take it slow. There is no need to rush in to marriage. Is there someone or something pressuring you to get married soon? If so, ignore it and focus on God only. As long as you are watching Him He will be leading you. And, yes, as long as she is willing to continue growing in Christ and willing to repent of her sins, there should be no issues.

I hope you can figure this out. I think you are making this a lot more difficult than it ought to be. God is not the God of confusion. Often we are our own lords of confusion. So give all your issues to Him and let Him work on them while you just grow in Him.

Oh and P.S.... stop worrying. Did I mention that? That sounds like it should be the first sin you conquer in your life.

 

[AudreyNicole]

One more thing...

Here are the main words in your posts:
worry, confusion, salvation, worry

Here are the words you should be focusing on:
love, peace, joy, gentleness, kindness, goodness, patience, self-control, faithfulness.



You cannot know the future, so don't try. The secret things belong to the Lord, all you can know is what you are supposed do right now. Dwell on the things of the Lord, and don't worry about tomorrow.