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Adulterous Marriage

Discussion in 'Bible Chat' started by Fragrant Grace, Jun 14, 2018.

  1. Thou shalt not commit adultery
    Matthew 19:15

    Greetings everyone,

    I'm hoping to get some wholesome Biblically based replies

    Adultery is common in the world around us but it shouldnt be named amongst Christians

    What if adultery occurs in Christians?
    For example marrying someone who has been married twice before?
    Is this adultery?

    What is the way forward if this has already happened?

    Will the marriage ever be truly blessed?

    Thank you
  2. It is a hard question to answer without more facts.

    First the the reason they are divorced matters.
    Matt 5:32; gives a valid reason for divorce. It is not sin in this case. ( Matt 19:9; ) says you allowed to get divorced if they are unfaithful to you.

    Some say that Mark 10:11; isn't saying if you are divorced you can't get re-married, but rather if you are getting divorced
    with the intention of getting re-married.

    Also there is another reason it is OK to get divorced. 1 Cor 7:15; says if this happens, the believer is not "under bondage" (to the law) in this case.


    There are some sins we can make "worse". For example a girl gets pregnant while she is unmarried.
    That's a bad thing. So then should she get an abortion to "fix it"?

    I feel it's the same thing in marriage. If two divorced people (who were not divorced for the reasons above) get married to each other.
    Should they get a divorce to "fix it". Does that really fix it? God hates divorce also. ( Malachi 2:16; ) so should we add another sin
    to the sin already done?


    Also if we take the three passages that come to mind here.

    Matt 19:9; And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.”

    Mark 10:11; And He *said to them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her;
    Mark 10:12; and if she herself divorces her husband and marries another man, she is committing adultery.”

    Luke 16:18; “Everyone who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery, and he who marries one who is divorced from a husband commits adultery.

    You can take these verse two ways... If you have ever been divorced (except for the two circumstances above) you can never get re-married.

    Some say this pretty difficult, especially if the divorce wasn't your fault.

    The other way some people take these verses is... if you already have someone in mind. You are getting divorced with the intention of marrying
    someone you already have feelings for. Some say this is different from getting re-married years after you got divorced to someone you didn't
    know when you got divorced. (At least not emotionally involved with).

    Is there any sin that God cannot forgive? ( blasphemy of the Holy Spirit excepted )
    Keep in mind David not only committed adultery, but had the woman's husband killed (indirectly, but he was still responsible)
    Yet in Psalm 51 David repents. God forgives him. There were some consequences, he lost a baby. But eventually Solomon came
    from this marriage. ( 2 Sam 12:24; ) it says.. "the Lord loved him".

    My advice is... if you are married... stay married. ( if you can )
  3. Another thing here I would mention.

    If you ever get divorced. Try to reconcile with your spouse if you can. However if either of you had sexual relations with someone while you were divorced, it changes things.

    Deut 24:1; “When a man takes a wife and marries her, and it happens that she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some indecency in her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out from his house,
    Deut 24:2; and she leaves his house and goes and becomes another man’s wife,
    Deut 24:3; and if the latter husband turns against her and writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house, or if the latter husband dies who took her to be his wife,
    Deut 24:4; then her former husband who sent her away is not allowed to take her again to be his wife, since she has been defiled; for that is an abomination before the Lord, and you shall not bring sin on the land which the Lord your God gives you as an inheritance.
    Fragrant Grace likes this.
  4. I wouldn't say all cases result in the marriage not being blessed. It could be we are ignorant of scripture on marriage and marry someone who treats us well, giving them a chance as we all have past faults. It could also be that we were not serving the Lord and then decided to serve Him.

    The verses BAC quoted Matt 19:9, Mark 10:11, Mark 10:12 and Luke 16:18 all have to do with the present. All are examples of mortal sins taking place. I find it interesting that so many scriptures speak to this. It is evidence that God wants the ''grey'' area removed. He wants there to be absolutely no doubt that it is all a mortal sin. All adultery. Now there is much scripture on the punishment and curse on any person in such a sin. A person who calls themselves a Christian but does such, we must not even eat with them 1 Cor 5:11 But now I am writing to you that you must not associate with anyone who claims to be a brother or sister but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or slanderer, a drunkard or swindler. Do not even eat with such people.

    But for the person that is already in such a relationship. Their ex partners abandoned and already moved on. A verse like 1 Cor 7:14 would apply. They can still turn things around.

    I do believe one would need to go for counseling if they planned on repenting and re-uniting with their ex that they abandoned. Let's say for example, I am the wicked person. I leave one good wife for another good wife. With my lies I deceive the new wife. After five years, I want to make right with God. What are my options? Scripture cannot cater for every option. But we cannot ignore that it caters for many and sets ground rules in stone. It also says in Phil 2:12 that we must work out our salvation in fear and trembling. So the question I would need to ask myself, is how in fear and trembling of eternity in hell, do I deal with the predicament I am in? I imagine I would come clean with my current wife. Repent to my prior. If she was still single, I would have to offer a reconciliation and find a way to ''look after'' my current wife? Counselling would be a necessity. The three of us with an elder. His blessing on our final decision.

    Reasoning together in fear and trembling. That is how we resolve difficult scenario's.

    Isaiah 1:18 Come now and let us reason together. Phil 2:12 Work out your salvation in fear and trembling.
    Fragrant Grace likes this.
  5. I realize this has very little to do with the question asked in the OP, but I have a question/comment about this verse.

    Matt 5:32; but I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except for the reason of unchastity, makes her commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

    "makes her commit adultery" - it seems the spouse who wants to get divorced is (at least partially) responsible if
    their ex-spouse gets re-married.

    Why did Jesus word this passage this way? Did they commit adultery simply because they got divorced?
    Or did Jesus know most of them would eventually re-marry?
    Fragrant Grace likes this.
  6. Thank ypu for your replies thus far @B-A-C @KingJ .
    I am pondering all your replies.
    Thank you for sharing scripture

    For a believer beating themselves up for past sins, true repentance and knowing that the Lord will fully forgive such a serious sin is a wonderful truth to hold fast to when guilt prevails.

    Please continue to share if so led.
    At Peace likes this.
  7. I suggest it's because in Jesus' day, women had very little economic power - dependent on men. So a divorce woman would need to find a husband in order to save herself from becoming destitute.

    I'm putting that forward as a reasonable/probable explanation, not a watertight fact.
    Fragrant Grace and B-A-C like this.
  8. Thank you @Hekuran @B-A-C @KingJ

    In modern day situations can become very entangled.

    I know of a circumstance where the husband has remarried and has children to the new wife, but still owns property with the previous wife. This causes discord and disharmony within the relationship and a lack of love/trust.
  9. Why do we always want to hold onto the past? We always have an excuse.
    Now in this situation, maybe it's a house, maybe it's land... it doesn't really matter what it is.
    Can either the husband or the ex-wife pay for the other half of the property? Probably not, but if possible they should.
    Can they sell the property? Well they might take a loss, but is that so bad? Is a financial loss worth your marriage? What's more important,
    your wife or your financial possessions? My personal opinion is... he shouldn't have remarried if he wasn't willing to give up the past.
    Even if he has to totally give up all the property.... what's more important? Now maybe they still owe money on it.
    All the better to get out from under it. Maybe the ex-wife doesn't want to sell it, fine let her pay off the rest of it.
    Maybe he is holding on to it for future retirement purposes. If he is, he' is only going to half of it anyway, so quit investing in it.
    I personally don't feel God will bless him for holding on to it.
    Christ4Ever and Fragrant Grace like this.
  10. I've read the argument (maybe some here as well) that the 'unchastity' spoken of in Matt 5:32 is in relation to a betrothed virgin, having committed fornication and not able to bring chastity to the marriage. In this argument, the Jewish law that virginity was required is what is referenced in this verse since even betrothal was legally binding. In this situation, the innocent person was free to move on to a relationship of mutual virginity. But only in the betrothal scenario.
  11. I've heard it said, and I tend to agree, that if one breaks covenant, as in adultry, the covenant is over...A blood covenant, even until as recently as a hundred years ago, and no doubt in some areas of the world, if a blood covenant was broken, the breaker had to be killed in order to protect his honor. That would be an official end of the covenant, no doubt. Does one really want to live with a covenant breaker, especially a marriage covenant?
    If the injured party wants to forgive and keep trying to make a marriage there is nothing wrong with it, but what about the covenant breaker? Can he/she get past that event and build a good relationship? In my books it's a major gamble. I would hope the result is worth the strain.
  12. #12 Curtis, Jul 3, 2018
    Last edited: Jul 3, 2018
    Jesus looks hard upon divorce of any kind which is a good thing since we are his bride, and he will never divorce us!

    The bible says.....

    1Co 7:39 The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord.

    Of course this is also be true with men, not just women. There is another way off getting out from under the law so one can marry another. It says if her husband dies she is free. But if the wife dies she is also free from her husband to marry another.

    Rom 7:4 Wherefore, my brethren, ye also are become dead to the law by the body of Christ; that ye should be married to another, even to him who is raised from the dead, that we should bring forth fruit unto God.

    This does not mean if a person is married, and then get saved they can go marry someone else while still being married. As long as the unsaved person does not mind being married to their saved spouse the saved person should stay married, if not the saved spouse is free to marry again.

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