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A lesson well learnt

Today I have learnt a huge lesson in faith and for the first time it really hit home to me with a such a huge force.

The whole thing started about 3 years ago when my husband was retrenced and he was unable to find suitable employment since then. It hit us real hard financially as our monthly income was cut with more than half. With a house to pay and kids in the creche and a very small baby.

I was about to give up all hope. But always we seemed to pull through the hard times and God always seemed to provide us when we are at the end of our ropes. I was always thankful and always knew that after hard times there comes joy.

We eventually sold our house to keep a living from the profit and well just over a year after and all that money almost gone I started to get severe anxiety again. My faith started to weaken as all things just seemed to go wrong. For over 2 years we had plans to emmigrate, but everything just went wrong. I lost all hope and left the emmigration story at that as we had to use most of that money to live and keep the kids in school.

In the meantime my husband did find a job by his brother, but he cant afford much so it basically just cover the expense to get to and from work for hubby and I and the kids school fees, after care fees and creche fees. In a way we would be better off for hubby to remain at home and look after the kids, but emotionally and mentally its better for him and the kids to carry on as per normal as not to fall into any depression state. We just tightened our belts loads and got used to live off my income. Over time, I become a bitter person and did not really realised it till today.

About from the beginning of December last year, I had a feeling deep down inside that I must give money to someone a specific set amount . This was the hardest thing for me to do as we just managed each month. Each day I ignored the "instruction" that I need to give this said amount to this person. Since this person lived in another country and with our exchange laws, I soothed my mind to say that there is nothing I can do to get the money out to this person.

Days went by and well things were not going well with us financially. Everything that once seemed stable just seemed to be falling apart. Hubby had to take a weeks unpaid leave during Christmas and New Year and that set us back a pretty penny, but as I was aware of it I could prepare ourselves for it. In that time my youngest became very sick as well and it was really a testing time of faith. I was clinging so badly and desperately to the little strand of faith I had and well it was almost destroyed yesterday.

Well needless to say I eventually did pay the money over to this person. The funniest part of it all is the day I started to get the feeling that I must send this person the money, this person also had the feeling that they need to connect to certain things to be able to transfer money internationally. This all came out when I told this person what I need to do. I took a huge leap in faith as I knew that its going to be tough the next few weeks as the said amount was half a weeks wages of hubby.

Well when the phone bill came it was almost half the amount it was supposed to be and this money was covered in full with a little bit extra to cover some of the week's loss in wages.

Well all went well until yesterday when hubby was sent home as there was no work. I was awake most of the night with anxiety attacks and my mind drifting to the future, instead just have faith and trust in God.

This morning when I phoned, he was back at work working. I just at that moment had a hard lesson to learn - keep faith as God will look after us. Trials there will be but keeping faith in God will pull us through it and we will come out a stronger person at the otherside. But even better news was when I phoned him just before I left from work, he got a private job to do that will cover all the loss we had the past week we incurred.

Then it really hit home, God won't ask me to do something if He has not got it covered in some way.

Yes I got back that was given, but in return we also gain back that was lost.

But I think most importantly, I came out stronger on the otherside. Not alone did I learn a hard lesson in trusting God, but it has truly strengthen my faith in Him and forsure has strengthen my walk with Him.

I know there will come manieth times when a person might have to do things that we dont understand, but trusting God in it has its rewards at the end of the day.
Wow Eagle, we often struggle with things God is telling us to do. If only we could realise sooner that if we listened to God in the first place, we would get where He wants us to be quicker. Praise the Lord for the place He has brought you to.

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