- Joined
- Oct 26, 2007
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- 12,524
Dear Little Sister,i now have a new problem , my parents told me last night that i havent shown enough remorse, and asked me to write a letter of apology to my sister, i got a bit angry and refused and had a argument with my parents, now my parents have said that my disobidence is NOT acceptable and they are going to punish me again this coming weekend, they have said i will be locked back into my room all day saturday and sunday, more schoolwork and more punishment essays , this coming weekend is my cousins 16th birthday party me and my 2 other sisters are invited, i wont be able to go as i will be on punishment, my parents said i was warned well in advance if i didnt show remorse and write a letter of apology , i would be put back into lockdown and punished is this fair ?
I guess you didn't get a chance to initiate a talk with your parents that I hoped you'd be able to do before they confronted you on their belief that you had not shown sufficient amount of remorse and the ensuing letter of apology they required of you afterwards.
Sadly, if you had, initiated the talk, you could have forestalled/mitigated future punishments. It seems that besides the lockdown, it appears to me that you are home schooled, and the reason why they seem to be able to assign you schoolwork to do. Let me know if this is the case. Though in truth it is secondary to you moving forward in what I see as a trial for you.
Quite the conundrum you find yourself in. What it comes down to is either submitting to their will, in humility, or chaff against the bit of what they are trying to direct you to do in your life currently. I'm sure neither proposition will be appealing to you to have to do/accept. Still, it is a reality that you are being faced with, and must come to gripes with.
The Holy Spirit guided me to see the following writing. I hope it will give you a different perspective of what real persecution/punishment is. One can say different times, but it doesn't matter to the one being punished, does it.
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This sister in Christ, by the way was from Woodbridge, Suffolk UK. which is not really that far from where you are in London!
Alice Driver
“She declared that she would obey God rather than men, and that no terror of flame should cause her to deny the truth she had received.”
Alice Driver, a simple woman of Suffolk, was brought before the bishops in the bloody days of Queen Mary, accused for refusing the Mass and for speaking boldly against that which she judged contrary to God’s Word.
Being examined before Edmund Bonner, Bishop of London, she was urged to submit and to confess that the bread upon the altar was the very body of Christ. But Alice answered plainly that Christ’s body is in heaven, and that the sacrifice was finished once upon the cross. For this she was mocked as ignorant and rebuked for presumption, being but a woman.
Yet she did not yield.
When threatened with imprisonment and death, she replied that she would not once set her foot in their church again, “for it is no church of God, but a den of thieves.” Her speech was bold, and the commissioners were greatly offended.
They sought to entangle her in disputation, thinking her easy prey. But though she lacked university learning, she possessed steadfast conviction. She declared that she would obey God rather than men, and that no terror of flame should cause her to deny the truth she had received.
After long imprisonment and repeated examinations, sentence was given.
In the year of our Lord 1558, Alice Driver was led to the stake at Ipswich. The wood was laid about her; the crowd gathered; the officers made ready the fire. Yet she stood constant. Lifting her heart to heaven, she committed her spirit into the hands of Christ.
When the flame was kindled and the smoke rose about her, she endured patiently, neither shrinking nor crying out against her persecutors, but sealing her confession in the fire.
Thus this woman, despised by her judges for weakness, showed greater strength than they who condemned her. For the fire consumed her body, but her faith overcame death.
“We ought to obey God rather than men.”
— Acts 5:29
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Note: This execution happened, after they had already cut off her ears as well in order to get her to recant!
I’m not sure why the Holy Spirit brought this to my attention or prompted me to share it with you. However, I do believe that in thoughtful prayer, you will receive an answer.
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Now do I believe that this punishment is just? No, but neither is your continued resistance to your parents' authority. Letting your anger, which is probably kindling theirs as well, is not helping, nor will it allow a resolution to come about between you and your parents. Being humble, and accepting even of unrighteous punishment is never easy, but as a believer in Christ Jesus, this is what you should do. Which is part of the story that you have read above. Some view it as resisting wrongs and standing up for the truth, while willingly accepting any punishment that comes as a result, seeing it as an act of defending God's Word. For eventually, Sister Alice Drive will be vindicated by being faithful to God above all else as a martyr. If you have been wronged, then this too will one day be brought to light. (Luke 8:17)
Not that this is what anyone, nor you in the situation you are in, wants to become (martyr). That is why my suggestion in my last post was to open a dialogue for greater understanding with your parents. This is still my suggestion to you. Otherwise, it will turn into a battle of wills, where in reality neither you nor your parents will come out victorious from.
The question becomes for you is that your parents are trying to sense/receive from you is "Are you remorseful for what you did to your sister?". Keeping in mind that in your original post that you said, "i enjoyed her kicking and screaming to be let out". This doesn't even include the other items of distress she went through, that you did not become aware of until later.
The only thing that you have said concerning the interaction between you and your sister is "i did say sorry to my sister and she forgave me, but dont forget i was punished harshley". So, as the old saying goes "actions speak louder than words", but just saying a few I'm sorry words, as a form of contrition appears lacking, and the punishment issue of greater import to you then the act against your sister was.
Did you ever thing to ask your sister what you could do to make it up to her? Knowing you could never fully make up for the wrong that you did but turning it over to her to see what she would do, which might be exactly what you need to begin to see and understand what it means to forgive being wronged. And moving you towards understanding what your parents are seeking from you as far as being "remorseful". Of course, your sister could actually have wanted an even greater punishment, but something tells me that this would not be the case but still that would have been a chance you would have to take, especially if you are sincere in seeking her forgiveness and showing your heartfelt contrite heart to her for what you had done.
Well, I do believe I've given enough for you to digest in this rather long post! lol
Believe it or not it reminds me of how I used to punish my teenage daughter!
The effectiveness of the punishment is reflected in the contriteness of the individual receiving it, and whether it needs to ever be repeated.
With the Love of Christ Jesus Little Sister.
YBIC/Moderator
Nick
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