Are you saving for retirement?

[Jesus_is_LORD]

I am 40 years old. I have just under $10,000 in the bank.

Currently I am not saving for retirement but just getting some feedback, should I be?

Awhile back I was having some financial problems and I prayed and ask God to increase my income and I said that if God did, I would not accumulate more than $10,000, meaning when ever I get more than 10k I automatically give it away to charity ( I also tithe monthly to my church).

Another reason I'm not saving for retirement is I don't feel like I'll ever be in a position to sit back comfortably in this world and just relax. With all the spiritual warfare and Jesus unknown sooner than before return, I see myself working until retirement age and at that time still doing some part time work. I'm also debt free.

God has allowed me to pay out of pocket for school, as I've spent over 50k out of pocket on this Doctoral program, but I did so because I don't want to be in debt.

I don’t want to not be wise and not prepare for the future, I do have a 3 month emergency supply of food incase I lose work or incase of a national disaster. But I'm not currently saving for retirement and it is hard to see myself just setting money aside for when I get old here on earth.

Did Paul save for retirement?
So question, should I be saving for retirement generally speaking? I know there will be situations where it will be wise to do so and there are elderly now who are glad that they saved. But I don't see myself being one to just sit back and relax "retire" in the world that is not my home, I'm not comfortable here, and I'm everyday awaiting His return, though not date setting and occupying until He comes.

Maybe occupying until Jesus comes involves saving for retirement?

What do you think ? @B-A-C , @Christ4Ever , @PloughBoy , @God's Truth , @MedicBravo , @Godbehonored , @GodB4Us

 

[PloughBoy]

I am 40 years old. I have just under $10,000 in the bank.

Currently I am not saving for retirement but just getting some feedback, should I be?

Awhile back I was having some financial problems and I prayed and ask God to increase my income and I said that if God did, I would not accumulate more than $10,000, meaning when ever I get more than 10k I automatically give it away to charity ( I also tithe monthly to my church).

Another reason I'm not saving for retirement is I don't feel like I'll ever be in a position to sit back comfortably in this world and just relax. With all the spiritual warfare and Jesus unknown sooner than before return, I see myself working until retirement age and at that time still doing some part time work. I'm also debt free.

God has allowed me to pay out of pocket for school, as I've spent over 50k out of pocket on this Doctoral program, but I did so because I don't want to be in debt.

I don’t want to not be wise and not prepare for the future, I do have a 3 month emergency supply of food incase I lose work or incase of a national disaster. But I'm not currently saving for retirement and it is hard to see myself just setting money aside for when I get old here on earth.

Did Paul save for retirement?
So question, should I be saving for retirement generally speaking? I know there will be situations where it will be wise to do so and there are elderly now who are glad that they saved. But I don't see myself being one to just sit back and relax "retire" in the world that is not my home, I'm not comfortable here, and I'm everyday awaiting His return, though not date setting and occupying until He comes.

Maybe occupying until Jesus comes involves saving for retirement?

What do you think ? @B-A-C , @Christ4Ever , @PloughBoy , @God's Truth , @MedicBravo , @Godbehonored , @GodB4Us

Remember, our path is to continue to grow closer to him. Inwhich we will arrive.

And may I say this in a child like sense. That day began the day, you became a “New” Born Babe” in Christ. Not fully Grown. And 40 years later, not grown, 50 years later not grown, 1000 later not grown but yet a “son” but not yet grown, 10 billion light years still not grown but yet grown as a “Son”.

Get, closer with GOD, he will take Care of The Rest, He Sits on the “Throne”, Set your “Mind”on the Things That Are In “ETERNITY “!


Give, work, pay your bills, stay away from debt. And stop trying to build GOD’s kingdom down here! You can do it.

Get sick, lose your Job, go blind, lose your Ability to walk, to wash your face, now what. What will become your goal

The same, as it was, before you lost all Abilities.
It has not change.

Get closer to GOD. And stop trying to do things for GOD.

The Poison is Trying to do things, if do things, if you have kids do things, a girl friend boyfriend doing things.

Stay at his feet.
GOD has Called you to peace. You are single now.

But I am not a commander, it is only A Recommendation.

For I know where we all should be heading and leaving bread crumbs.

And you can be sure they will not be heading to “The Pentecostal” table, the crumbs will not beheading to “The Methodist Table”, The Crumbs will not lead back to “The Baptist Table” with all the Tapestries of the “ Tithes and Offerings” The Supper given so we cannot forget that “Jesus for our sins Die on a Tree and Rose from a Grave on The Thrid day”.
We must take our minds off of The Programs, the Feast Tables The “Glossodynia”, the hats, heels, skirts, flowing dresses, lipstick, earrings, makeup, perfumes, cars,…The Goal is “Holiness & Sanctification” and keep one self from “Fornication” and. “Hedonism”!
And all the appearances of evil.

“For Without Hoilness no man shall see GOD”

When God Destroyed the World the 1st time, 8.

Lot, out of The Plains, 4.

I do not know, how many people have live on earth since Noah,

But among all who have live, only a few among all will be saved.

Let us not be entangled with The Religious Practices of This World. And seek The Kingdom of GOD and All It’s Righteousness and That Kingdom is Not Here on earth yet. But it is in The “ETERNAL”. And can be sort by a “True Child of The Living GOD” for There That Child has “Citizenship”. And others [many] absolutely don’t!

I do not care how many prayers a person prays, or Look up into The Heavens,

Only A “Child of The Living GOD who’s Birth Place is There Has “Citizenship” There!

We must Stop Telling People Lies! And Speak “TRUTH” !

“My KINGDOM is Not of This World”!

Jesus, Does Not Lie!

And “The SON of GOD” does not need A Interpreter!

So, ain’t no sense of waiting around for years, then coming to a conclusion of such.

Only rust, mildew, theives, Rot, dust, old, pills and lemons, roam around here!

PS. They will take you money out of the bank. Because they can! And you better not say nothing, you get a lawyer they take your money, the money you ain’t got!

 

[PloughBoy]

Dave Ramsey says: Store it up!

Jesus said “Follow me”!

19“Do not store up for yourselvestreasures on earth, where mothand rust destroy, and wherethieves break in and steal. 20But store up for yourselves treasuresin heaven, where neither moth norrust destroys, and where thievesdo not break in or steal; 21for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.


Meaning they are going to steal it!

All of them: The rust, the moth, sons, daughters, dog, and the empty space! they going steal it.


When you use to put money in the bank, or when I was a kid they paid You to put your dollar in there!
Today they charge you, for putting your money in there. They charge your money rent!

On one bank account they used all my money up. And Then charge me for a open space with no money in there. And I own them money for a empty space that had no money in there!

I paid them visit.

 

[Jesus_is_LORD]

On one bank account they used all my money up. And Then charge me for a open space with no money in there. And I own them money for a empty space that had no money in there!

I paid them visit.

How did that visit go?

 

[Curtis]

The Lord has always supplied me to have a job to support my family. I really never made enough money to save for retirement. I learned very early on in my salvation that words make all the difference in the world. The Lord has always provided me according to his riches in Glory with every need that concerns me and my family.

I knew that confessing God's word above what my physical eyes see is God's way.
Holding fast to your confession of faith without wavering is a must even when you have no home or food.
(I have been homeless a few times even with my family at my side)

The scripture says.....

Luk 6:38 Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over, shall men give into your bosom. For with the same measure that ye mete withal it shall be measured to you again.

Peter said......

1Pe 3:10 For he that will love life, and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips that they speak no guile:

Speaking "evil" is saying anything out of our mouths that is contrary to what God says what we have and what he has given unto us. Speaking "guile" is what people do to cause someone to do things for you, but making it sound it is for their benefit.

I have given my life to feed my family and to proclaim the gospel of the kingdom to whoever will listen.

Having no savings is not what is important but giving to others is very important as eventually "men will give unto your bosom" because of your giving and speaking the truth of God's Word.

I had a man "give unto my bosom", almost 6 years ago but only after many many years of speaking truth that was contrary to my eyes.

The Lord provided me with enough resources (money) to pay "cash" for a new home, and new car. No payments no credit cards just paid in full. (one payment) with enough money left over for hefty savings.

I took my family for a ride in our new car to our new home. Do you know what we were doing that day?

We were "loving life and we were seeing good days"

God's way is always the best way, because he is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all we can ask or think according to his power that lives in us.

 

[Jesus_is_LORD]

The Lord has always supplied me to have a job to support my family. I really never made enough money to save for retirement. I learned very early on in my salvation that words make all the difference in the world. The Lord has always provided me according to his riches in Glory with every need that concerns me and my family.

I knew that confessing God's word above what my physical eyes see is God's way.
Holding fast to your confession of faith without wavering is a must even when you have no home or food.
(I have been homeless a few times even with my family at my side)

The scripture says.....

Luk 6:38 Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over, shall men give into your bosom. For with the same measure that ye mete withal it shall be measured to you again.

Peter said......

1Pe 3:10 For he that will love life, and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips that they speak no guile:

Speaking "evil" is saying anything out of our mouths that is contrary to what God says what we have and what he has given unto us. Speaking "guile" is what people do to cause someone to do things for you, but making it sound it is for their benefit.

I have given my life to feed my family and to proclaim the gospel of the kingdom to whoever will listen.

Having no savings is not what is important but giving to others is very important as eventually "men will give unto your bosom" because of your giving and speaking the truth of God's Word.

I had a man "give unto my bosom", almost 6 years ago but only after many many years of speaking truth that was contrary to my eyes.

The Lord provided me with enough resources (money) to pay "cash" for a new home, and new car. No payments no credit cards just paid in full. (one payment) with enough money left over for hefty savings.

I took my family for a ride in our new car to our new home. Do you know what we were doing that day?

We were "loving life and we were seeing good days"

God's way is always the best way, because he is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all we can ask or think according to his power that lives in us.

Amen, God indeed will supply, if we seek yea first the Kingdom and Righteousness.... ( Matthew 6:33 ).

 

[PloughBoy]

How did that visit go?

The bank ate all my money up, but That bank account, I owe them. In the Negative $’s and still counting backwards.

I informed The Bank manager, they had sap all my money out. And that, The 1st. Bank account I had, was when, I was in grade school in the 1950’s, a grammar school room Assignment to open a bank account. And with of the information how a Bank works, and why they had to pay you, to put your dollars in there!
$2.00 to open it. And each month they paid you Interest!
Go buy you some penny candy. Each month at the corner Confectionery.

I let her know my mother, still some where in her house, alone with “The United States War Bond Stamps” the 10 & 25 cents ones in the original card board Envelope Folder with The USA “Revolutionary MinuteMan” Stamp full Lenght of The Front.

When I got through, I Told her, since they had used up all my money, They should have close The Account, not Charge Me Rent, on a account I had no money in. I explained I did not have a “Security Box” that rent.

You see back when I was in grade school, some of my teachers taught my father. They where all white.

The women, worn these big block black heel shoes, with men black shoe strings in them, shinning every night. They look like half boots. Their flower cotton dresses went down about 3 inches above their ankles.

And They Taught you. the Men did too!

You knew how to eat at high classs restaurants. How to dig your fingers in lemon dishes, you knew how to read music when you song, you knew, “May I”, “excuse me”, you knew “Opera”, you went to hear “ The Detroit Orchestra” or what ever kind it was to play. Dress up in suit and ties, you learn how to “Walza”, Sguare dance, before you was 7 years old. Set table. And. Every Boy had a”white handkerchief” rain boots and rain hat and coat! And all girls had a umbrella.

And you had to get certified by “Red Cross” with a certified card, how to set bones wrap bandages, treat people for “Shock” head injuries in “Grammar”school.

The Red Cross would come out and Teach us!

Those and schools taught us about paintings, all kinds of Copies was in the schools, we knew all all about “The Insitutes of Arts” “Historicals”, “light, gas, electricity AC DC, oil, coal, Atom bombs,by the time you got to The 6 grade, you would catch a bus , go pay the light bill, the phone bill, the gas bill, or order a “A 1/2 ton or a Ton coal. On The Party line Telephone.

And most of the time your parents owe money to “The Finance Company’s” no credit cards, or go down to the store and pay on the The Layaway until paid then take it home.

We were Financially wizard. Little kids.

Most parents never finish school, white or black.

Now all these kids you got running around like they all that, and a bag “potato chips”.

Just wait, they on their way Back to “The Twilight Zone” “!The Darkages”

The develop world only have a short brief time to live in a short phrase of prosperity, because of The “automotive”, Steel, iron, Locomotive, age. That produce roads, bridges, cement, industrial machinery, labour, healt care, hospitals, dentists, walmarts, grocery stores, Pizza Hut, White Castle, Mac Donald’s,

That stuff is the product of The blue collar worker! The government and Lobbyists is stealing All the Surplus and left overs from
Yester-year!

Y’all just do not know! Just before when That crook “Ronald Regan” came into office, the big Scheme began.

I do declare, they pulled it off!

We all would be talking about! “The Hippie area”,, it could not be stop!

We had The “Surplus”,
Social security could never be exhausted!

The retirement age, full “Pension” across the Board, “Thirty Years” full retirement Alll benefits, “Master Medical” it was impossible to go broke!.

And The Games began!

Just Like “Shaka Zulu” said; they done me like that “Monkey” with that Banana in The Cage!
And The Institutionalize Church of All Denominations as a whole help set The Trap!

My grade school education help me to se that!

I tried to tell some in The “UAW”.

And as the years has gone by other events has happen, I am still warning, Beware, the Tide is coming in.

 

[PloughBoy]

The Lord has always supplied me to have a job to support my family. I really never made enough money to save for retirement. I learned very early on in my salvation that words make all the difference in the world. The Lord has always provided me according to his riches in Glory with every need that concerns me and my family.

I knew that confessing God's word above what my physical eyes see is God's way.
Holding fast to your confession of faith without wavering is a must even when you have no home or food.
(I have been homeless a few times even with my family at my side)

The scripture says.....

Luk 6:38 Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over, shall men give into your bosom. For with the same measure that ye mete withal it shall be measured to you again.

Peter said......

1Pe 3:10 For he that will love life, and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips that they speak no guile:

Speaking "evil" is saying anything out of our mouths that is contrary to what God says what we have and what he has given unto us. Speaking "guile" is what people do to cause someone to do things for you, but making it sound it is for their benefit.

I have given my life to feed my family and to proclaim the gospel of the kingdom to whoever will listen.

Having no savings is not what is important but giving to others is very important as eventually "men will give unto your bosom" because of your giving and speaking the truth of God's Word.

I had a man "give unto my bosom", almost 6 years ago but only after many many years of speaking truth that was contrary to my eyes.

The Lord provided me with enough resources (money) to pay "cash" for a new home, and new car. No payments no credit cards just paid in full. (one payment) with enough money left over for hefty savings.

I took my family for a ride in our new car to our new home. Do you know what we were doing that day?

We were "loving life and we were seeing good days"

God's way is always the best way, because he is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all we can ask or think according to his power that lives in us.

I understand, I remembered when I first went to Bible college, it was Reformed. It also was a Missionary college.

That since, young kids after graduating, went off into the missionary fields, about twice a year from the missionary fields, beach for a break. They would talked about it. In the auditorium.

Always tears in that place.

I never knew, many girls “Rape” beaten in war torn and back places, jungles war torn cities, captives, but still loved, how many won over their rapists, their captors, their Tormentors, young girls and men, I never knew, it is still happening, like this across the world. And always has been.

Some, become sick and die, diseased, biten by filies, bugs heat, bad water, and most, their parents have money.

The parents would threaten the school and teachers and tried to force their children not to go, but join a church here and do work around here for Jesus!

I never, even knew stuff went on like this this is Reformed “Calvinist”!

How they profess they have forsaken all! Time after time. Dying, raped, beaten, sleeping in hunts on the ground.

And since The early 1980’s it change my life. So much that’s the Christian’s I know and have met. And I have met 1000’s of Christian’s and preach among hundreds and taught in “Conferences”.

These Christian’s that I have known ain’t going to cross the street, Let alone approach a man or a kid with a gun in the name of Jesus, [ But They Know How To cast out Devils]. they will shoot, but They sure is Not going To take The gospel to man killing folks with a “AR-15”!

But all day long they got Power!

They will kill him 1st.!

I been on this journey for over 44 years! I have seen, what a Christian will do!

So, I know, Christian’s and Christianity comes under many colors and garments and talk!

The rich the poor, the name it and claim it, all for what you want,

be it in a class of water with no bugs in it or fresh running out of a clean kitchen. A nice job, a bad Job a good Job and God Has Some with no job, he bless some with no house, he has bless some with no sight he has bless with sight. He has bless some to be a “Paraplegic” some to be have all use of all limbs.

He has bless some to have a mother and a father and some to have neither the embrace of that which is real.

So We As “True Citizens of “Another place Where our “Citizenship” is located At or that place Called Heaven for That is Our “Birth” place, nothing here really matters we are passing Through and He will wipe away All our Tears, All of US, since Time Begin who’s name is Written there.

If Our Names were written before The Foundations of The World we are going, it is “Indicative” That is Where our citizenship is.
If Their names was not written there at that time, “They ain’t going”!
I do not care how they think how they walk or what they do, they ain’t coming!

So, our brothers and sisters in Christ Will be coming from all kinds.

 

[God's Truth]

I am 40 years old. I have just under $10,000 in the bank.

Currently I am not saving for retirement but just getting some feedback, should I be?

Awhile back I was having some financial problems and I prayed and ask God to increase my income and I said that if God did, I would not accumulate more than $10,000, meaning when ever I get more than 10k I automatically give it away to charity ( I also tithe monthly to my church).

Another reason I'm not saving for retirement is I don't feel like I'll ever be in a position to sit back comfortably in this world and just relax. With all the spiritual warfare and Jesus unknown sooner than before return, I see myself working until retirement age and at that time still doing some part time work. I'm also debt free.

God has allowed me to pay out of pocket for school, as I've spent over 50k out of pocket on this Doctoral program, but I did so because I don't want to be in debt.

I don’t want to not be wise and not prepare for the future, I do have a 3 month emergency supply of food incase I lose work or incase of a national disaster. But I'm not currently saving for retirement and it is hard to see myself just setting money aside for when I get old here on earth.

Did Paul save for retirement?
So question, should I be saving for retirement generally speaking? I know there will be situations where it will be wise to do so and there are elderly now who are glad that they saved. But I don't see myself being one to just sit back and relax "retire" in the world that is not my home, I'm not comfortable here, and I'm everyday awaiting His return, though not date setting and occupying until He comes.

Maybe occupying until Jesus comes involves saving for retirement?

What do you think ? @B-A-C , @Christ4Ever , @PloughBoy , @God's Truth , @MedicBravo , @Godbehonored , @GodB4Us

I think the average monthly income for a retired person is about 1,300.00 for Social Security, but not real sure about that. So unless you have a pension too, do you think you can survive on that amount, even if you had your house paid off and no debt?

I know Paul speaks about saving up for your children, so we can see he isn't against saving.

2 Corinthians 12:14 Now I am ready to visit you for the third time, and I will not be a burden to you, because what I want is not your possessions but you. After all, children should not have to save up for their parents, but parents for their children.

 

[Jesus_is_LORD]

I think the average monthly income for a retired person is about 1,300.00 for Social Security, but not real sure about that. So unless you have a pension too, do you think you can survive on that amount, even if you had your house paid off and no debt?

I know Paul speaks about saving up for your children, so we can see he isn't against saving.

2 Corinthians 12:14 Now I am ready to visit you for the third time, and I will not be a burden to you, because what I want is not your possessions but you. After all, children should not have to save up for their parents, but parents for their children.

Thanks for the wisdom.

No children here at the moment.

 

[God's Truth]

Thanks for the wisdom.

No children here at the moment.

That doesn't mean you can't save money for old age. There are many scriptures on having money.

 

[Jesus_is_LORD]

That doesn't mean you can't save money for old age. There are many scriptures on having money.

I agree, I'm just sharing background about myself since you mentioned children. "No children here at the moment".

 

[God's Truth]

I agree, I'm just sharing background about myself since you mentioned children. "No children here at the moment".

Oh cool. Are you married and do you want children? Now you know what Paul says about that don't you?

 

[Jesus_is_LORD]

Oh cool. Are you married and do you want children? Now you know what Paul says about that don't you?

Yes sir, now I know and knowing is half the battle .

Not married, was married 4 years, divorced.
I wasn't as strong spiritually as I needed to be
and she stepped outside of the marriage physically
and I was battling internet lust.

We went to Christian Counseling but she didn't want to stay,
and I couldn't make her stay.

No children, thank God.

 

[God's Truth]

Yes sir, now I know and knowing is half the battle .

Not married, was married 4 years, divorced.
I wasn't as strong spiritually as I needed to be
and she stepped outside of the marriage physically
and I was battling internet lust.

We went to Christian Counseling but she didn't want to stay,
and I couldn't make her stay.

No children, thank God.

Wow. She probably didn't forgive you for something. She should have forgiven you. Was it both of your first marriage?

 

[Jesus_is_LORD]

Wow. She probably didn't forgive you for something. She should have forgiven you. Was it both of your first marriage?

We weren't equally yoked, But I thought we were.

She seemed to love the Lord.

Put it this way. She was my first serious relationship
and I was like 29 years old, I had been saving myself for marriage (although I hadn't saved my eyes --though I saved my body).

And she was not married prior, but had multiple sexual partners before and had been living with her previous boyfriend.
She had shared that she had an issue with promiscuity but shared that she had......
wait for it....
wait for it.....
she shared that she had, wait for it......
repented of her sins. And I believed that she had repented.

And I didn't want to seem like I was judging her like the lady caught in adultery and thought she had changed.
Maybe she did and my sexual issues on the computer which never went away made it harder for her to
stay true to her change. Only God knows.

But yeah, I learned that girls with sexual histories with many partners are not a good fit for me. I thought
that if I rejected her I would be acting like I was better than her and not trusting God's work in her life.
Plus she seemed to love the Lord, which drew me closer to her.

This is her, video she put up on her channel 10 years ago, when we were married. (if you click the unavailable video it will take you to YT)

 

[God's Truth]

We weren't equally yoked, But I thought we were.

She seemed to love the Lord.

Put it this way. She was my first serious relationship
and I was like 29 years old, I had been saving myself for marriage (although I hadn't saved my eyes --though I saved my body).

And she was not married prior, but had multiple sexual partners before and had been living with her previous boyfriend.
She had shared that she had an issue with promiscuity but shared that she had......
wait for it....
wait for it.....
she shared that she had, wait for it......
repented of her sins. And I believed that she had repented.

And I didn't want to seem like I was judging her like the lady caught in adultery and thought she had changed.
Maybe she did and my sexual issues on the computer which never went away made it harder for her to
stay true to her change. Only God knows.

But yeah, I learned that girls with sexual histories with many partners are not a good fit for me. I thought
that if I rejected her I would be acting like I was better than her and not trusting God's work in her life.
Plus she seemed to love the Lord, which drew me closer to her.

This is her, video she put up on her channel 10 years ago, when we were married. (if you click the unavailable video it will take you to YT)

This is sad. I can see why you loved her. Hey, have to ask want to know...did the counselor tell you both God wants you two to not divorce?

 

[God's Truth]

Yes sir, now I know and knowing is half the battle .

Not married, was married 4 years, divorced.
I wasn't as strong spiritually as I needed to be
and she stepped outside of the marriage physically
and I was battling internet lust.

We went to Christian Counseling but she didn't want to stay,
and I couldn't make her stay.

No children, thank God.

I thought you meant she stepped out by asking for divorce. So she stepped outside of the marriage physically. Did you forgive her? Did she fall in love with the person she stepped out with? You two went to counseling after she did that, right? I always wonder what Christian counselors say to married couples, did they say to work it out and that God doesn't want you to divorce?

 

[Jesus_is_LORD]

This is sad. I can see why you loved her. Hey, have to ask want to know...did the counselor tell you both God wants you two to not divorce?

Great question.

Well my friend, I actually didn't even belief in divorce.
We are going deep. Feel free to back away or redirect if I'm sharing too much, but.
Ok here we go.

So, she cheated physically with someone at her work ( I think, I never found out who exactly it was), I think.

When it happened I told her that she needed to transfer jobs, she stated that I was being controlling
and that she was not emotionally attached and didn't need to change jobs.

We argued that night. She said I was being controlling and she walked out of our home.
Just left. Went for 3 months, heard nothing from her. I prayed and fasted and prayed for God
to bring her back.

God answered my prayer, she came back and said she wanted to make it work, so I took her back.
She left again after a few months and said it wasn't going to workout. I told her I didn't believe
in divorce and we should try to make it work.

She blackmailed me to divorce her. She held me financially hostage. Her name was on the lease but she left
the apartment, (the 2nd time) and wasn't helping me pay the rent. I told her to please sign the termination
agreement for me to break the lease so I could find a cheaper place. She said she would not do that unless
I signed the divorce papers. She also did a false police report stating she was a danger and got a restraining
order, more reasons that I felt I had to sign the divorce papers, because she was blackmailing me financially and
now making false police statements that could have me in jail. (This was 2015). For the protective order she filed,
I was served by the local Sherrif's department the papers that said keep away from her.

When the court case came for the protective order (my legal counsel said that women often do this to add to the record before they file for divorce),
I prayed and went to court, and she didn't show. So they threw out the case.
Although she physically stepped out of the marriage (and not diminishing my part because I believe that as the man, I'm ultimately responsible,
and I put it on my lack of spiritual strength and what I did I'm sure give the devil a foot in our marriage), I did a mutual
agreement because I didn't want to have a contested divorce (protective order and divorce were separate court cases).

I didn't want to get a contested divorce because I know how the courts favor women often, and seeing that my wife at the time
was very deceptive, I didn't want the courts to mandate me to pay her alimony.
So I drafted up my own mutual divorce form where I told her I would give her $11,000, pretty much $1,000 stipend a month
for 11 months, where I paid her car payment, health insurance, etc, etc, etc. She agreed and signed
the mutual agreement. She got what she wanted, money, and I got my life back.

Now back to your question about the counselor. She (Wife at the time) actually got mad at the Christian counselor
and didn't return for more sessions after like our 2nd session.

 

[Jesus_is_LORD]

We had maybe 3 sessions today.

The Christian counselor met with each of us individually first,
then met with us together.

In the sessions the counselor told me that I needed to pay more attention to her emotional needs and
that I needed to learn that I didn't always have to understand her to show emotional support.

I don't remember much of what the counselor told her, but I do remember her getting angry
at the counselor when the counselor would challenge her behaviors. And it seemed that
when he would try to get her to see a different perspective she would push back.

Another reasons I tried to stick it out was I felt bad for her, and knew she had been through alot.
She was sexually assaulted by her older brother as a 13 year old girl for a few years.
She had a lot of trauma, and being in the mental health field, I guess I thought
I could heal her and felt like God led her to me to heal her from her trauma.
But now I learned that it is better to have people heal before marriage not during.