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Married spiritually but not legally

Discussion in 'Parents & Couples' started by LovingAvalanche, Jun 27, 2010.

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  1. LovingAvalanche

    LovingAvalanche New Member

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    I am married, but not legally. My husband and I can't afford to have a wedding or get rings right now, but we have prayed to god to accept our marriage and have told him that we are married. Do you have to get married by a priest to actually be married in god's eyes?
     
  2. HoneyBare

    HoneyBare New Member

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    Welcome, Loving! I'm in a similar situation, but Norm is not willing to have a wedding and everything. After 37 years of living together! But, we are legally married because our state has common-law marriage laws. After 10 years, you are legally married.

    Is your partner a Christian? If I were you, I wouldn't concern myself with it too much about it, because God will work it out. And I'm hoping someday, both our partners will be in agreement with our wish to make the big commitment.

    Visit chat sometime. It's a good place to make friends.
     
  3. SpiritLedEd

    SpiritLedEd Active Member

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    I don't believe expensive wedding rings are required. Nor do I believe that a wedding gown, bridesmaids and groomsmen are required. Nor is formal reception required. I think you can do it cheaply. All that's required in the U.S.A. is a bride and groom, two witnesses, two inexpensive rings, a preacher, a marriage license, and true love for each other.

    Some would argue that a marriage license isn't necessary, but, I disagree if only because scripture commands us ( see Ro 13: 1-6) to obey laws laid down by the civil authorities we are under.

    SLE
     
  4. Boanerges

    Boanerges Active Member

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    My wife and I were married with a justice of the peace and two friends as witnesses. Simple but effective.
     
  5. LovingAvalanche

    LovingAvalanche New Member

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    We do not want to get married through the court, we really want to wait until we have enough cash to have a wedding, but we love each other more than anything in this world and would like to be married spiritually. We have asked god to accept our marriage into his heart. I am still getting to know Jesus, so I do not want to ruin anything..
     
  6. SpiritLedEd

    SpiritLedEd Active Member

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    I urge you to continue getting to know Him and I agree that that is the most important thing for you at this point.

    SLE
     
  7. Alice.

    Alice. New Member

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    Head down to city hall, if you don't have the money to do the wedding of your dreams now you can always get married at city hall and then have a "formal" ceremony when you have the money to do so.
     
  8. His_will_i_am

    His_will_i_am New Member

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    The Scripture says to avoid the appearance of evil. It really doesn't take much to simply go and sign marriage certificates. It seems to me that the various excuses and such are simply cop outs, an escape plan as it were.
     
  9. shipwrecksoul

    shipwrecksoul New Member

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    I remember the time me and my Mrs. wanted to get married. We thought maybe we can go through an engagement time. Maybe we can have our loved ones at the ceremony. Maybe still we can save save save and then have a big wedding. Maybe we can have a man of God marry us to show we respect authority in obedience to Gods plan, the authority of honor before ones parents. Maybe we could walk with virtue. Maybe we could be an example maybe maybe maybe maybe. A Christian who is mature, I come to reason out, does not count on maybe's. I thought if one is a christian, so I thought, we would do what christ wants us to do, you know the man who gave us the example of dying to one's self at the maybe cross?

    If time was turned back for me and my girl to when I first met her and I wanted to commit myself to her in good conscious I in the least with my love for her I would grab her hand and we would run to the justice of the peace and get married! We would acknowledge to ourselves before God that we are committed to each other and vow a vow to death do us part! We would walk out of there knowing that we gave our word that we would honor each other before God.
     
  10. Drenlin

    Drenlin New Member

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    I second this.
     
  11. rizen1

    rizen1 Moderator
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    This is the example of a marriage covenant authored by John Joseph.

    I myself have been dealing with these questions, the license is important when it comes to property sharing and when kids are involved, for taxes basically government business or legal business when time for divorce. I have not come across any laws that states one will be fined or imprisoned if one does not obtain a marriage certificate. Therefore not having one is not against the law, for if it was then anyone found in a common law relationship would in trouble. The downfall is when signing forms and you tick that married box, you have no proof for MAN. So technically you are not married in the eyes of the government therefore you are excluded from certain benefits. That's why the homosexuals are pushing for gay marriage to be legal. The hospital only allows intermediate family members in the room, because the marriage is not valid he/she wasn't allowed in to say goodbye when the person died. That's the same situation we will face if we opt out of getting a marriage certificate.

    In the eyes of God you are married, based on the covenant not certificate.


    Covenant to Cleave One to Another

    John James, a Good and Lawful Christian Man, solely by the grace of God, by, in and through Christ Jesus, our Sovereign Lord and Savior:

    And,

    Mary Hannah, a Good and Lawful Christian Woman, solely by the grace of God, by, in and through Christ Jesus, our Sovereign Lord and Savior,

    In the Name and by the Authority of our Sovereign Lord and Savior Christ Jesus, being one Mind in Him, we send Greetings and Salutations from Him and ourselves to all Whom these Presents come:

    On this sixth day, of the sixth month, in the two thousandth Year of the Reign of our Sovereign Lord and Savior Jesus, the Christ, before God our Father, His Son Christ Jesus, His Spirit bearing Witness with our spirit, and all Good and Lawful Christians,

    that:

    I, John James, before the almighty Host in heaven, and all whom these Presents come, declare:

    that, God our father, by, in and through our Sovereign Lord and Savior Christ Jesus, in His Love and Mercy for me, has adjudged me worthy of the blessings of and from His Bounty, and has blessed me by choosing an help, whom He calls Mary Hannah, meet for me, in all ways, for our sojourn here, solely here with Him in this world: to Love herein the same way and to the same degree He loved His church; to Honor her, as the weaker vessel, by covering and protecting her from all assaults, of whatever kind or description, to her; to be co-heir with me in all the Blessings of our Lord Christ Jesus and His Bounty; to be co-executor with me in executing the Righteous Law and Testament of God our Father and Christ Jesus, our Lord and Savior in bringing up the Seed with which He blesses us; to help me execute His Law and Testament in all our external temporal affairs in this world for His Glory, Majesty and Dignity; And , forsake all other women and cleave to her alone, so we are in all maters One flesh and One mind in Christ Jesus;

    And,

    I, Mary Hannah, before the almighty Host in heaven, and all whom these presents come, declare:

    that, God our father, by, in and through our Sovereign Lord and Savior Christ Jesus, in His Love and Mercy, has chosen and brought me to help the man whom He calls John James, and has adjudged me meet for Him, in all ways, for our sojourn here, solely with Him in this world; to be Loved, covered and protected by him through submitting faithfully to him in Love as unto our Lord Christ Jesus; to be co-heir with him in all the Blessings of our lord Christ Jesus and his Bounty; to be co-executor with him in executing the Righteous Law and Testament of God our Father and Christ Jesus, our Lord and Savior in bringing up the Seed with which He blesses us; to help me execute His Law and Testament in all our external temporal affairs in this world for His Glory, Majesty and Dignity; And , forsake all other men and cleave to him alone, so we are in all maters One flesh and One mind in Christ Jesus;

    And,

    By the grace of god bestowed in His Love for and upon us, we submit ourselves to his Righteous Rule and Government, and pray earnestly that our Lord Christ Jesus will govern our House in His Love exercised in Judgement and Mercy for our reproof and correction, for He chastises those whom He Loves; that in His Love He builds our House with blessings from His Bounty for His Glory and Majesty; that our Love for each other will grow stronger in Him who has brought and bound us together with and In Him to reconcile us to God our Father.

    By God's Grace in and through Christ Jesus, we are:



    John James Zebedee ___________________________ L.S. helped by, loving, covering, and protecting:



    Mary Hannah Zebedee __________________________L.S. loving, helping, covered and protected, Amen.



    On this sixth day, of the sixth month in the two thousandth Year of the Reign of our Sovereign Lord and Savior Jesus the Christ, before God the Father, His Son Christ Jesus, His Spirit bearing Witness with our spirit, and all good and Lawful Christians, we, being Good and Lawful Christians, witnessed the making of this union between john James and Mary Hannah and by our signatures attest to our approbation of their union, and Bless them in the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and the Holy Spirit.



    _____________________ L.S.

    sign manual

    _____________________ L.S.

    sign manual

    Amen
     
  12. Boanerges

    Boanerges Active Member

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    While I do understand what you are getting at I do not really see the point of skipping the legal side. As you said it will effect not only oneself but their kids as well. But in the end one must follow their convictions and whatever makes them feel at peace.
     
  13. rizen1

    rizen1 Moderator
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    It's not skipping the legal side, it more of free will and letting people know there are options. Until my research I thought it was something " you had to do " and you need the license to get married in the church.
    When I found ministries and pastors who refuse to marry people with a license I was shocked.

    I was also disturbed when planning my aunts wedding and every church I called wouldn't allow them to wed until they got the Government license. That was the first question, nothing about love, if they need counseling ..just " make sure when they return to the US to get the marriage license."

    My conclusion is " There are options, and the choices we make have benefits and disadvantages."
    The great thing about the certificate you can get it any time and it doesn't cost much. So educating oneself about the do's and don't's before any decision is important. Also take good measure of the pros and con's and if it's worth it.

    Im going to have my covenant first then eventually get the certificate, so my marriage is before God first, then after the certificate my marriage becomes recognizable in the eyes of the Government.

     

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