I feel low and have for quite a while. I feel no one really cares, everyone has enough of thier own problems to care about mine, why bother then to reach out? Perhaps out in cyberspace at least I can express my feelings enough to help get over these feelings of worthlessness. Why is it negative things are easier to believe about ourselves than positive. I feel stupid. I feel like a failure as a child of God, person, parent, employee... I have a really hard time picking up the Bible and reading it and have never been able to pray. I know these are the two things I need for healing and feel stupid for not pursuing it. Constantly believing I am going to fail, so why try. Even now I feel like I am just whining and wasting the time of anyone who may read this. If I won't take a step forward on my own, how can anyone else help? Knowing and doing are to different things. I know action is required on my part, God will not do it all Himself. I have to show Him I am willing to listen and obey, currently I know I am not doing this... How does one change? I hate where I am and I hate who I am, but from some dumb reason I feel too stupid to move forward, taking steps to change.