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    Matthew 7:21-23

    Not everyone who says to Me, "Lord, Lord," shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father in heaven. Many will say to Me in that day, "Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in Your name, cast out demons in Your name, and done many wonders in Your name?"

    And then I will declare to them, "I never knew you; depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness."

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Feeling rejected...

Discussion in 'Counseling' started by Smiles1025, Nov 16, 2007.

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  1. Smiles1025

    Smiles1025 New Member

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    I feel low and have for quite a while. I feel no one really cares, everyone has enough of thier own problems to care about mine, why bother then to reach out? Perhaps out in cyberspace at least I can express my feelings enough to help get over these feelings of worthlessness. Why is it negative things are easier to believe about ourselves than positive. I feel stupid. I feel like a failure as a child of God, person, parent, employee... I have a really hard time picking up the Bible and reading it and have never been able to pray. I know these are the two things I need for healing and feel stupid for not pursuing it. Constantly believing I am going to fail, so why try. Even now I feel like I am just whining and wasting the time of anyone who may read this. If I won't take a step forward on my own, how can anyone else help? Knowing and doing are to different things. I know action is required on my part, God will not do it all Himself. I have to show Him I am willing to listen and obey, currently I know I am not doing this... How does one change? I hate where I am and I hate who I am, but from some dumb reason I feel too stupid to move forward, taking steps to change.
     
  2. Cody

    Cody New Member

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    God cares and wants to hear your prayers. The Bible tells us to pray without ceasing.

    1 Thess 5:17
    "Pray without ceasing." KJV


    I don't know why negative things stick out more than the positive. I'm the same way. I focus on the negatives when I should be looking at the positives. This is a matter that we need to take to God in prayer. He will help us through the troubles and He'll smile with us in the good times.

    Nahum 1:7
    "The LORD is good, a strong hold in the day of trouble; and he knoweth them that trust in him." KJV


    The devil is trying his best to keep you from praying and reading your Bible. he knows that you will find truth and comfort in God's Word and doesn't want you to read it. Sister, fight the devil. he will lose every time when you have God helping you. Read God's Word and pray to God from the bottom of your heart. God will hear you and He will help you. Submit to God and the devil will flee.

    James 4:7
    "Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you." KJV


    Love in Christ and God Bless
     
  3. Word of Life

    Word of Life New Member

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    As Cody said, the devil is trying to stop you having that relationship and he will try all sorts of tricks to take you away from having that relationship/fellowship with the Father and His son Jesus Christ.

    1Jn 1:3 That which we have seen and heard declare we unto you, that ye also may have fellowship with us: and truly our fellowship is with the Father, and with his Son Jesus Christ.

    Take little steps at a time. And what helped me, was by subscribing to some devotionals, which comes into my inbox each morning and I also brought some daily devotional books. These are light and it's a start, to get me focussed on God, first thing in the morning. More often then not, the scriptures that are quoted in these devotionals, led me to reading the whole chapter of the bible.

    If you have a problem in praying, open up your heart and tell Him so. Tell Him how you are struggling with all these things, and ask Him to teach you and ask Him to give you strength to overcome your weaknesses.

    You can't change yourself, only God can. If you acknowledge to Him your faults, He will be there to help you. And that is going to take time, so be prepared for many trials and temptations, to come your way. As Jesus was tempted so will we.

    Zec 13:9 And I will bring the third part through the fire, and will refine them as silver is refined, and will try them as gold is tried: they shall call on my name, and I will hear them: I will say, It is my people: and they shall say, The LORD is my God.

    Thank Him, even if you feel down and worthless, and He will lift you up.

    Ezr 3:11 And they sang together by course in praising and giving thanks unto the LORD; because he is good, for his mercy endureth for ever toward Israel. And all the people shouted with a great shout, when they praised the LORD, because the foundation of the house of the LORD was laid.

    Eph 5:20 Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ;

    If you have arrived safely to work/destination each morning, thank God through our Lord Jesus for protecting you on your journey from all wickedness and evilness.

    Col 1:12 Giving thanks unto the Father, which hath made us meet to be partakers of the inheritance of the saints in light:

    Col 3:17 And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him.

    Heb 13:15 By him therefore let us offer the sacrifice of praise to God continually, that is, the fruit of our lips giving thanks to his name.

    God knows our hearts and He knows our struggles. So just lean on Him and He will guide you out of this perverse and wicked nation and will lead you more into the light each day, through our Lord Jesus.

    Php 2:15 That ye may be blameless and harmless, the sons of God, without rebuke, in the midst of a crooked and perverse nation, among whom ye shine as lights in the world;
     
  4. kay-gee

    kay-gee New Member

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    Hi smiles 1025. I hear you and I know what you are going through. I also suffer from this from time to time. I've been in the faith 25 years. There is no easy solution. Sometimes it can really be a depression issue, not so much of a spiritual one. After a dramatic thing happens in our life can trigger it too. Mine seems to go in cycles. It just come out of no where and sometimes lasts for days even weeks. In these times I seem to lose interest in bible reading and praying. I do it but with great struggle, not with the joy that shold be in these activities. I believe The devil, (oppurtunist that he is) jumps on these cycles to plant all the seed of discord. You begin to think dark thoughts like no one loves me, I'm too much of a screw up, etc... etc...It may quite well be a medical issue that requires some professional help. Don't dismiss it because the mind can do strange things due to chemistry imbalances etc... I always say do the simple things first and see if you get through it. The things the others posted here are valuable pointers. First and foremost, try to get the relationship with God back on track. Start there. I will remember you in prayer. God bless you....all the best...kay-gee
     
  5. Br. Bear

    Br. Bear Moderator
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    Greetings Smiles,

    Smile...Jesus loves you!

    God delights in a broken and contrite spirit....being the healer of broken hearts, the giver of life, He came to fill the empty vessels, not the full ones.

    You are at a good place. Such a wonderful thing is about to happen in your life if you are down and call out to the Lord....He will pick you up! And that is such a wonderful thing.

    When you look at your life, you are probably finding the truth about yourself. BUT...if you put Jesus into the picture....well, that's a different life to look at.
    If you look at just you...yes, you will see a miserable soul. If though, you look at who you are in Jesus...ah...do you know what you'll see?
    The righteousness of God!
    Smiley friend, do not be deceived. Without Christ we are nothing. BUT, in Christ we are glorious.
    So, ask yourself...am I in Christ? If the answer is yes...and I am sure it is, then you are more that this world can comprehend.
    Let Him renew your mind ... the way you think and see yourself.

    As a Christian, you have the life of Christ Jesus in you. None of us can shine His light without Him, and when we shine....it is His light, not ours. We are not our own. Never have been, never will be. The difference is though, that as a new creation, you have been transformed into His image, you have been cleansed, purified by His sacrifice for you, and you are no longer a slave to sin .... you believe!
    You can be a Christian for 10 000 years, and it will still be about Jesus, never about you and how good you are. The goodness in us is Jesus Christ, not ourselves.
    Now, this same Jesus who started a good work in you...will He not finish it...will He not perfect you as He wants you to be? Of course He will!
    So, relax, let go of all the worries about how you think you are doing. Understand that your every thought is known to God, and go back to remembering that you believe. It is believing that brings His life into you.
    What do you believe? Who do you believe? Jesus Christ the Son of God, who died that you might have eternal life....is that right?
    So now, add to your thoughts His glorious redeeming name...and you have a prayer.
    Prayer is communicating with God in Jesus name. As you know, He knows your thoughts. He only requires your active faith, your believing and understanding that He knows your needs and has a plan for you and has called you.

    You said, "I hate where I am and I hate who I am,"...
    do you?
    Do you eat? Do you sleep if you are tired? Do you clean yourself?
    Do you keep yourself reasonably safe? Do you drink when you are thirsty?
    Do you spend time thinking about yourself and your position with God?
    Careful what you say, my friend.
    Look again, you will find you are quite loving to yourself in all you do for yourself. Disatisfied maybe, but hate? No.
    OK, you think you could do better and more. That's good...but remember that only God gives increase, and sometimes we want the increase in areas of our lives that we think need it, while God, who loves you, is busy increasing other areas of your life, that He knows need it.
    Trust Him.

    Sister, may His joy be full in you as you rest your life in His hands.
    Rejoice that He loves you just as you are and is so happy to have your desire to love Him more. It is enough.
    A smiling God and a Smiley child!

    Bless you,

    Br. Bear.

    ps...as sister Word Of Life said, eat a little bread each day....our daily bread, not tomorrows meal, but a little bread each day...a devotional, or perhaps a psalm or a verse or two from Proverbs...there are 31 of them...just enough for one for each day...><>
     
  6. Smiles1025

    Smiles1025 New Member

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    Thanks

    Thank you all for your replies. My hurts and sorrows began during and rose like a wave soon after a very difficult relationship went south, so perhaps it is depression... I fear seeking a medical resolution to my situation due to addictions running in the family. I also fear the side effects of medications; if I feel down now and am given a wrong medication with side affects of increased depression, to which suicide has been known to result; I fear hell. I am having a really hard time right now overcoming my thoughts that I am too stupid to do the things I know I should be doing to gain healing and help. I remember at one time the incredible joy and peace I had in my life, filled with blessings, yet even then I only seem to pray when I was down and rarely read the bible. I used to go to a bible study every Monday night, but have slipped away because my ex goes there and do not feel comfortable going anymore. I basically have lost all of my support and have a hard time opening up to new people. My thinking, they have enough going on their life, they do not need to add my dilemmas. Part of me knows that is not true, the other part has seen too many times how busy everyone is and that once the initial help is given, no one seems to “follow-up.” People have a tendency of turning their attention to other things. Granted I do it too, life happens, but I wish I could find someone I felt comfortable talking to, someone who would not leave and show a bit of interest in how I am doing and not letting a “I’m fine” be a good answer. Opening up is not easy for me and when I am in front of someone, either I am so tongue tied I cannot speak, pride gets the best of me and I do not want to look like a fool or my mind draws a blank so I do not know what I need to say in order to begin to heal or obtain help. Basket case comes to mind… Why is it the bad things are soo easy to believe? I try and remind my self of all the good things I do. I am talented, a good mother, have a job I love, even now I struggle with thinking bout my good qualities. Failure, stupid, and loser are all pounding in as soon as I begin to think of good things…
     
  7. Br. Bear

    Br. Bear Moderator
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    Greetings Smiles....in Jesus name,

    How are you doing?

    Sister I must chide you! You said, " Failure, stupid, and loser are all pounding in as soon as I begin to think of good things… "

    Excuse me, but they are my titles....so you can't have them!

    Do you know what?
    Being a failure is a beautiful thing really...not saying I am! Far from it! What I mean is that when I see myself as I am...a failure beyond measure...which I do often (nearly always - it is hard to deny the truth of the matter), I am able to look at just how wonderful the grace of God in Jesus Christ really is.

    Now, STUPID....ah that's me! That is a nice way to put it. Honestly. And to think I can size up God and who I am ... well, that only proves it more. He is beyond measure... in fact, to even suggest the concept of 'measure' in context of God...well, it is nothing short of stupid. As I said, that's me!

    And LOSER.... now you're about to read some words from a prize loser. A joke is also a fitting description, but loser does sort of fit quite well without any extra bits. Total loser, and I am serious .... ask anyone who knows me... yes, my sister, it is almost too soft a word for me.

    BUT..... I want to tell you something.....I am free and am loved by the Lord Jesus Christ...and nothing in this world or the next can even begin to compare in value to me. He is my everything and my song, my bliss, my love, my Lord and King. And I know that He loves you with that exact same love....and you too can rejoice with me in His eternal life...and you can have it now....and all the things you might think you are will fade away to insignificance in His Light and Glory and Love.

    So I encourage you , Smiles, to see Jesus everyday, in everway, and look to Him who is your one and only true Judge and Redeemer....see what He thinks about you and take no heed, and place no value on any other opinion about you - not even from you!!!

    May you see His love in every area of you life from this day forth , forever!

    Bless you,

    Br. Bear...><>

    ps... remember too, if you ever find yourself calling yourself a loser, or stupid, or failure, just laugh at the thought...say, "no, I am not...Br. Bear is!!!" and get back to praising God.

    and one other thing, from what I hear, you would like to have fellowship that stays true through all the storms.... I would like to say, first, I am here...if you don't mind me being such a loser, failure and stupid and just as I would never want the Lord to forget about me or reject me or not have time for me.... I would do my very best to do the same for you.... and secondly, I am sure that our brothers and sisters here at Talk Jesus would also stand with you and share the Love of God with you according to the measure they have been blessed to share... and would love to be friends with you.....bless you Smiles....in Jesus name...><>
     
  8. Br. Bear

    Br. Bear Moderator
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    Greetings again sister Smiles,

    After my last post, I thought I should share a bit more....

    I also decided it might be best with an individual post instead of just editing the last one.

    Sister, fellow heir in Christ, I was thinking about how it is when I feel so ....what can I call it? Low? Useless? what words can explain.... we looked at failure, stupid and loser. That's a good start.
    Well, may I share what my precious Lord had to say about it?

    I was having a bad day...or era. Feeling so absolutely down about myself, and I mean down about myself, and I had very good reason to...very good reason. Now, I was beating myself and walking around all day, day after day, angry even, about just what a low down, useless loser I am.
    Guess what the Lord had to say?

    soft fluffy stuff? No.

    It was like this..." just who do you think you are to think so highly of yourself all the time" !! Say what?! Is'nt that what I was saying?
    No.

    to continue...."yes, who do you think you are to think so highly of yourself... look at you...could you even think more about yourself if you tried?! How come you are giving all your thoughts to yourself? And, who said you were better than me....to stand in judgement of even yourself?! I am sure that is my job...not yours...so why do you think so highly of yourself that you push me aside and sit on my throne?! Who or what gave you the right to do that? And, did you forget who I am and the fact I purchased you with MY blood, and for that matter...are you not mine...and not your own....did you not say that you gave your life to me? So what do you think you are doing in judging yourself....REPENT!"

    So, I did.

    The Lord put me in my place, thankfully. And do you know what He then did?
    He is SO beautiful. His mercy and grace...His immeasurable love ....O Lord...how can I explain in mere words...
    Sister, He filled me with such wonderful love and showed me how He saw me... don't believe that miracles don't happen...because for Jesus to love me is a miracle.....but then again it is not. For God is Love. And His love is shed abroad in our hearts. We just need to look to Him to see. We need to stop looking at ourselves and putting ourselves first...all of us I mean.

    Yes, the Lord got my attention, corrected me big time, and then .... blessed me. WOW!!!

    Now, I still slip into that naughty place of self judgement a bit too often, but He reminds me before I go too far... and, in fact He has opened my eyes to a dimension of His love that I never really knew, or perhaps hadn't been aware of. Who can search His ways? I just know that the Lord is so beautiful and loves.....

    There is a part of Scripture that tells us to think upon things that are pure... lovely.... of good report.... holy things .... beautiful things.... yes, think on these things. A two edged sword my sister, one a really wholesome life giving piece of advice from the King...the other edge, a command... to preserve us.


    Another thing I would like to add...

    you say that things got bad for you after a relationship problem? I can relate to that.
    It can take years....maybe lifetimes, depending on how you look at it. One day you can look at it one way, the next day from another perspective. Love is a very powerful thing.
    It really gets me moved when I think of the heartache the Lord must suffer as He is betrayed and trashed, as those He loves commit adultery against Him in their love for other things .... as He sees how we languish in sorrow and reject His joy .... I could go on for hours.... but I hope you understand me at least a bit.
    So, my own opinion is that you don't need a doctor, that you are not suffering depression, but just need the assurance of Christ's love in your heart. If you would like to know some herbs or other 'natural' things that may assist you physically, please PM me.

    May you really know the value you are to Him who loves you, may you know the comfort of the love of God in Christ Jesus the Lord, and begin to see each day more and more of His wonderful love for you, and may His love fill any void in your heart, and heal and bind up any brokeness from past relationship problems...and keep you all the days of your life and for evermore.

    Bless you,

    Br. Bear
     
  9. Jonah2005bt

    Jonah2005bt Active Member

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    I can relate to how you feel, my life is like that too.

    But there is one thing I know, and that is, I know I must never-ever give up on my prayers to GOD, I must keep trying even if I am failing HIM.

    Because if I just give up I fear the devil will win & take me down with him.

    I can't have that & I don't want that!!

    So I keep on praying & hoping all the time.

    Not a day goes by that I do not pray to GOD.

    For ever & ever I will pray to GOD, I can't afford not to.

    For only through HIM & HIS Son Christ Jesus can we be saved.

    And how can I say I believe in HIM or in Jesus if I don't listen to HIS teachings & do my best to follow & obey.

    How can I become a good prophet if I don't at least try.

    And trying always requires praying.

    Giving thanks to GOD for each & every day that goes by.

    Praying for others & asking HIM to pour HIS Holy Spirit into me, reach out to me & to guide me along my way.

    Hoping that I will turn out to be a shining light that will lead others to HIM.

    And hoping to be with HIM, to walk with HIM each & everyday.

    I love HIM & I don't want HIM to be jealous.

    And I don't ever want to loose HIM.

    You see, GOD is always there for us, but will we ever realize it if we give up on HIM.
     
    #9 Jonah2005bt, Nov 28, 2007
    Last edited: Nov 29, 2007
  10. Smiles1025

    Smiles1025 New Member

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    Trudging through...

    I have to constantly remind myself that God will never forsake or abandon me. Lately, I hear a sermon a song or even read replies or other threads here at TalkJesus and I feel as though I cannot measure up. :rain: I keep reminding myself that the things I go through now are to build me up and make me stronger so that I can help someone else in the future deal with the same issues I am going through. I suppose my greatest request is that I would just get through this and start to see just a little light at the end of the tunnel. I hope for my passion for Christ would return to a greater level and I would be more able to say Praise Jesus that is over... I absolutely detest where I am. Anger, sorrow, doubt, fear all get the best of me to a point of stagnate distain for the present and a glum outlook for the future. I even pray that God out just "take me out" so I would no longer be here. I then have feelings of remorse and dread to that idea as I have two children that would most likely not see each other again for many years. My children, 12 and 4, have different fathers, one who live in Virginia and one in Kansas. Although I do not believe the older one would suffer as much, the younger one would as her dad is not the greatest influence for her. :unlove: Why can I not take the first step, what is so hard about it… I live with my mom and my sister. Watching my sister renew her faith makes me envious. She reads her bible and is fairly dedicated to watching Joyce Meyers on TV. Whether it be out of pride or not wanting to put her through additional strain of my woes, I cannot being myself to say, help me study too. I am really struggling to determine what it is that keeps me "on the boat" (Voice of Truth, Casting Crowns...)
     
  11. stephen

    stephen Moderator
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  12. Jonah2005bt

    Jonah2005bt Active Member

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    Go to HIM, Girl!!!

    When you get the chance, please read what stephen posted > " http://www.talkjesus.com/ethics-morality/14064-feeling-rejected.html " What he posted is very comforting. :wink:

    My heart breaks as I read your post.

    I know to that you are suffering, too some kind of living hell.

    I know only to well, what it's like to have this longing to do GOD'S work, only to fail at it.

    There use to be a time in my life when I felt that I didn't deserve GOD'S love, undeserved kindness, or HIS mercy.

    And so therefore, who am I pray to HIM. The nerve of me to ask anything of GOD when in turn I seem to be doing nothing for HIM or others.

    Listen to me Girl, I was all wrong! {Then}

    For you see, Satan works in mysterious ways, too!

    Satan wanted me to continue to feel that way! Because, as long as I felt that way, I would continue to have nothing to do with GOD.

    One night I went to HIM in prayer. And I cried hard. I ask HIM to forgive me. And kept on crying. Then I felt as though someone was holding me in their arms & it felt good. Before I new it I was a sleep.

    Woke up the next morning giving some thought to what had happened the night before, when I cried myself to sleep.

    And realized one important thing; never in my life did I ever try to trust in GOD & to live according to HIS rules & regulations & to the teachings of our Beloved Savior Christ Jesus or to the teachings of Proverbs.

    So I decided to start doing just that.

    And though my life still has its ups & downs, there is no way I can get through my life with out knowing GOD is there for me.

    And there is no way I can live my life without prayer,
    because if I can't do the things that I believe that GOD wants me to do,

    then the least I can do is talk to HIM about it, hoping HE will guide me & give me the understanding & strength that I would need to do what is right in HIS eyes.

    But the biggest reason why I would go to HIM in prayer, is because I am hoping that HE will forgive me & that HE understands what I am up against with the reality of my surroundings & the reality of what's going on with in side of me.

    I NEED HIM!!!!

    And HE knows it!
    Go to HIM, Girl!!! You need HIM, too!

    *genesis :girl_hug:
     
    #12 Jonah2005bt, Nov 29, 2007
    Last edited: Dec 9, 2007
  13. Jonah2005bt

    Jonah2005bt Active Member

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  14. Smiles1025

    Smiles1025 New Member

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    I feel as though I am shouting at God asking Him to help me change, and yet I hear no response. I feel isolated from His love, rejected and uncomforted. Everything I know about the Bible tells me this is not true. The war waging in my head is heartbreaking. I know biblical truths, yet the negatives that retaliate make sense too. I am a computer tech and as a tech I think technical, sometimes. I keep asking God to reformat and load a new OS; I think the one I have is broken, stuck in an unending loop of disillusionment, discouragement and self loathing. No matter what attempts I make to change, I always seem to fall back into my old ways. I cannot get why, I cannot get it... I hear stories of people and their "transformations". The catepillar bursting out into a beautiful butterfly who cannot help but serve God. Am I too stubborn, too distrusting, too lazy, too whiny... All my life I have had it pounded in my head I am not good enough. Not good enough at sports, I was/am always chosen last. Not good enough socially, I have very few friends. Not good enough intellectually, I continually make bad choices. Not good enough of a mother, I have two children who desparately need me to snap out of this overwhelming feeling of worthlessness and educate and grow them into lives they will be proud of... I went to see a christian counselor, she told me to eat better and exersize. Do you know how incredibly hurtful that was? I guess I really do not know what I as expecting her to do or say, but I know that was not it. I need a shoulder to cry on and someone to take my hand and begin to lead me back where I was, so I can begin once again to walk in the Light...
     
  15. Jonah2005bt

    Jonah2005bt Active Member

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    No-one can really hear GOD talk, except perhaps, through another human being that GOD maybe talking through, and though the voice may belong to the person speaking, but the message maybe from GOD. This does not mean the person GOD is speaking through has to be a true Christian. GOD will choose who HE should speak through.

    I have heard GOD answer some of my prayers through others.

    GOD also talks to us through our hearts, souls & mind.

    HE talks to us through your conscience some times our dreams.

    And another thing, sometimes we may or may not like what HE may be saying.

    But all & all I think I know what you're saying. Your all nerved up inside & you can't seem to shake it off; meaning: you can't seem to stop how you are feeling.

    And what Brother & Sister, Cody & Word of Life, where saying the first page of this posting, makes a lot of sense.

    And did you know you can stop doing this to yourself? Meaning; you can stop feeling the way you're feeling?

    You said it yourself
    You're right they will give you healing, but there is one thing you are wrong about. You are not stupid.

    If ever GOD is speaking to you, HE'S speaking to you now.

    Your depression is GOD calling out to you!!

    You say you're can't stop the way you are feeling, ok I understand that.

    But when you say you can't pick the Bible or even give into prayer, don't you think that you could be some-what lieing to yourself.

    There is a big difference between saying you can't & saying you don't want to.

    Your depression is GOD calling out to you!!

    Listen to HIM - He wants you to go to HIM in Prayer! HE wants to reach out to HIM. Talk to HIM. But by all means, dear; Be respectable as you speak to HIM.

    Maybe, start your prayers off as I do.

    {Matthew 6:6-16}
    But you, when you pray, go into your room, and when you have shut your door, pray to your Father who is in the secret place; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you openly.

    In this manner, therefore, pray: Our Father in heaven, hallowed be Your name.
    Your kingdom come. Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Giving HIM thanks for all that HE the good HE has done.
    And then asking HIM to pour out HIS Holy Spirit upon you, asking HIM to give you understanding & strength & to guide you. Or what ever else you feel you must ask of HIM.

    I too, will be praying for you.
     
    #15 Jonah2005bt, Dec 4, 2007
    Last edited: Dec 10, 2007

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