Can you please give me reviews on this song Ive written

[Jesusgirlkk]

vs.1 "some trust in silver others in gold, some trust in fame might and glory but all that will perish it fadeth away all but Gods power and story"
chorus "so we trust God, when the pains of life have come, we trust God completly full and wholy, we trust God he fadeth not away, we trust God through all we trust God"
vs.2 "he is in charge he maketh it all and we give our lifes to him he knows us he sees the sparrows fall he sees it all and we are important to him he knows us" repeat chorus.
Please honestly tell me all your thoughts I know it's not amasing and needs a little work but I want others opionon on what to change.

 

[Quenton]

First of all it's really difficult to make a four line song not rhyme. So if your going to do a four line song it's best if it rhymes. Otherwise you can always add more lines.

What genre are you meloding in your head?

 

[Jesusgirlkk]

Thank I will think about a way to fix that and i the music I have written for it is more like an old time hymn like amasing grace or anything in that genre. Sorry I don't know the term for it but its not ccm or anything

 

[Quenton]

thats something like where I had to go with it in my head but just see what you can do and i'll take another look at it next time