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    Please Share Our Posts via Social Media

    Our priority at Talk Jesus is to spread the Gospel to the ends of the earth. A simple post you share on social media can easily touch someone in a way you may never known. Please help us grow and spread the word by sharing posts via your media accounts. Thank you!

    Matthew 28:19 "Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit"

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    Freedom From Bondage

    Is there something that is preventing you from becoming everything that God created you to be? Are your sinful habits holding you back from true joy and fulfillment? The enemy can keep you captive with his sinful enticements and God's spiritual armor can help you battle the enemy's temptations. Through God's grace you can find freedom from bondage and experience the abundant life God has for you.

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    What does it mean to Work Out Your Salvation?

    I think a lot of believers don't know what it means to work out your own salvation. Many, I've come to realize think this means that salvation comes by works and not of free gift of grace through Jesus Christ. So, let's study this. I found a great little bible study on this passage below.

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    There is a lot of noise, lots of "religions" and beliefs out there to confuse anyone. But, Jesus is real. He loves you, He's ready to forgive you for all your sins and make your heart His dwelling place. Read about God's characteristics and attributes and get to know the real Jesus today.

    How do I accept Jesus as my Savior?
    How To Be Friends With God
    Why believe in Christianity?
    The Attributes of God

    View the Seeking Jesus forum

  5. Prayer Requests

    Finding God's Will

    When you make a decision, how do you know you are choosing to do the right thing? In this message, Dr. Stanley explains why we have trouble discerning God’s will and how sin affects our ability to walk in the path He has chosen for us. He also encourages us to discover the Lord’s will through reading the Word of God, praying faithfully, trusting our heavenly Father’s sovereignty over our circumstances, and listening to the wise counsel of others.

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  6. Prayer Requests

    7 Good Reasons To Stop Looking at Porn Right Now

    There are certain topics I return to on a regular basis and, if you are a regular reader of this site, you know that one of those topics is pornography. I return to it again and again because I see the damage it is doing and I see the despair of those who are caught up in it. My goal for today is simple: I want to give you 7 good reasons you need to stop looking at porn right now.

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Application to date my daughter

Discussion in 'Jokes & Bible Trivia' started by His_kid, Aug 20, 2010.


    Note: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage, and current medical report from your physician.

    1. What are your name, nickname or alias, age, social security number, IQ and Boy Scout rank?_____________________________________________________________
    2. Do you have one male and one female parent? ____ If "No", explain: _________________________________________________________________
    3. Do you own or have access to a van? ____
    4. A truck with oversize tires? ____
    5. A waterbed? ____
    6. Do you have an earring, nose ring, or belly button ring? ____ Why ??_________________________________________________________________
    7. Do you have a tattoo? ____ Why ?? _________________________________________________________________

    *If you have answered YES to #3, #4 or #5, discontinue application and leave immediately.*

    8. In fifty words or less, on a separate sheet of paper, what does LATE mean to you?
    9. In fifty words or less, on a separate sheet of paper, what does DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER mean to you?
    10. In fifty words or less, on a separate sheet of paper, what does ABSTINENCE mean to you?
    11. In fifty words or less, on a separate sheet of paper, what does REAL PAIN mean to you?
    12. Church/Temple/House of Worship you attend:
    13. How often do you attend: ____________________________
    14. When would be the best time to interview your mother, father and priest/rabbi/minister? _________________________________________________________________
    15. If I were shot, the last place on my body I would want wounded would be my _________________________________________________________________
    16. If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken would be my _________________________________________________________________
    17. A woman's place is in the
    18. The one thing I hope this application doesn't ask is _________________________________________________________________
    19. Now answer question 18 _________________________________________________________________
    20. When I meet a girl, the one thing I always notice about her first is _________________________________________________________________

    *Note: If answer to last question begins with "T" or "A", discontinue and leave premises - keeping your head low and running in a serpentine fashion is advised*

    21. What do you want to be IF you grow up?

    I swear that all the above information is correct to the best of my knowledge under penalty of death, bodily harm, dismemberment, Native American ant torture, crucifixion, electrocution, Chinese water torture, red hot pokers, the Hillary Clinton kiss torture and mental abuse including listening continuously to music you hate the most.
    Signature of applicant _________________________________
    Signature of father _____________________________________
    Signature of mother ____________________________________
    Signature of priest/rabbi/minister ___________________________________
    Signature of State Representative _________________________

    Thank you for your interest (and it had better be genuine and non-sexual). Please allow 4-6 years for processing. You will be contacted in writing if approved. Please do not try to call or write (since you probably can't, and it would cause you injury). If denied, you will be notified by two men wearing white ties answering to the names GUIDO and LOUIE and never ever apply again.
    Don't call me, I'll call you.

  2. lol!!! This sounds like the hilarious "Rules for Dating My Daughter" video that I've seen on YouTube. Well done!


  3. hehe thanks SLE
  4. wow this is hilarious
    all that just to date his daughter....LOL
  5. hehehehe.......that is hilarious as well as quite "true"....I think that I may use this for both my daughter and my son....(they are almost 16 and almost 15 consecutively).........hehehe, this should put a good natured "scare" into the prospective dates, it, thanks for posting/sharing!

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