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7 Good Reasons To Stop Looking at Porn Right Now

Discussion in 'Ethics & Morality' started by Chad, Jul 8, 2014.

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  1. [​IMG]
    By: Tim Challies

    There are certain topics I return to on a regular basis and, if you are a regular reader of this site, you know that one of those topics is pornography. I return to it again and again because I see the damage it is doing and I see the despair of those who are caught up in it. My goal for today is simple: I want to give you 7 good reasons you need to stop looking at porn right now.

    1. THE COST TO YOUR SOUL

    I want to begin here: With the cost to your soul. If you are consumed with pornography and unwilling to put this sin to death, you have every reason to be concerned with the state of your soul. God promises that if he has saved us we will gain new passions and new affections. We will have not only the ability but also the desire to replace sin with holiness, to replace immorality with sexual purity. If you have no sorrow for sin, if you have no real desire for victory, if time and again you recklessly choose your sin over your Savior, you need to ask yourself this: Do I love pornography enough to go to hell for it? If this sin continues to dominate your life, it may stand as proof that you do not have a saving, sin-slaying faith. For the sake of your soul, stop looking at pornography.

    2. THE COST TO YOUR NEIGHBOR

    Even those who know next-to-nothing about the Christian faith know this: Christians are commanded to “love your neighbor as yourself.” Just like Jesus, Christians are to esteem others higher than themselves and to place the concerns of other people ahead of their own. Of all people, Christians should know that pornography exacts a high cost of those who create it—the cost to their bodies, to their souls, to their mental well-being, to their dignity, to their future. A vast amount of the pornography you enjoy is created by people against their wills. The simple fact is, by watching porn, you are watching rape and deriving pleasure from it. You become a willing participant in sexual violence and you allow that actor on the screen to suffer for your pleasure. For the sake of your neighbor, stop looking at pornography.

    3. THE COST TO YOUR CHURCH

    At a time when the Christian church is crying out for more and better leaders, an entire generation of young men and women are infantilizing themselves by their dedication to pornography. They are in perpetual pornolesence, that period between the conviction of sin and the determination to do anything to stop it. In this time they constantly choose sexual immorality over God and their spiritual growth is stunted. For the sake of your church, stop looking at pornography.

    4. THE COST TO YOUR FAMILY

    There is scarcely a pastor ministering today who has not seen a family crumble and fall under the weight of pornographic addiction. Men are tearing apart their families for the sake of illicit pleasures; women are shunning the attention of their husbands in order to read or to watch what is forbidden and what seems to promise greater and easier satisfaction. Children are being exposed to pornography through the trails their parents leave behind. Fathers are inviting Satan into the home by their commitment to what God forbids and what Satan loves. For the sake of your family, stop looking at pornography.

    5. THE COST TO YOUR MISSION

    The Lord’s commission is an urgent commission because it is a matter of eternal life and death. Time is short and hell is forever, which makes the Christian’s business an urgent business. And yet so many Christians are distracted by something as evil and as wasteful as pornography. Their attention is arrested, their energy depleted, their usefulness undermined. Don Whitney says it well: “If there are any regrets in Heaven, they will only be that we did not use our earthly time more for the glory of God and for growth in His grace. If this is so, this may be Heaven’s only similarity with hell, which will be filled with agonizing laments over time so foolishly squandered.” For the sake of your mission, stop looking at pornography.

    6. THE COST TO YOUR WITNESS

    Christians are called to be different, to stand out from the rest of the world by their desires and by their behavior. Christians are to put sin to death and to display the power of God in removing and destroying all competitors. And yet so many Christians have had their witness shattered when the sordid truth comes out and when others learn that they profess faith in Christ on the one hand, and are consumed with lust on the other. Parents undermine the gospel they have been telling their children, pastors undermine the gospel they have been preaching to their congregations. For the sake of your witness, stop looking at pornography.

    7. THE COST TO YOUR SAVIOR

    By making light of pornography you are making light of the death of Jesus Christ. If you are a Christian, you acknowledge in your profession of faith that the cost of forgiveness was nothing less than the death of God’s beloved Son. Jesus suffered and died for your sin. How can you, as a Christian, then toy with your sin and take it lightly? How can you cling to it? As Spurgeon says with his customary eloquence, “Sin has been pardoned at such a price that we cannot henceforth trifle with it.” For God’s sake, stop looking at pornography.

    7 Good Reasons To Stop Looking at Porn Right Now | Challies Dot Com

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  2. Reason 8: Some weaknesses are impossible to respect or admire. Porn is a big deal and deal breaker! Honorable men and women don't date/marry porn addicts; they respect sex is sacred and private within marriage.

    Honorable people have strong personal boundaries and the courage to do the right thing no matter how much it hurts. Don't settle for less than honorable!
     
  3. #3 james1523, Jul 13, 2014
    Last edited: Jul 14, 2014
    Everyone has seen porn before and anyone who says they haven't is lying, I think the church should just be open about it, so the issue can be addressed and dealt with it, so I'm glad Tim is addressing this issue frequently. The believer basically has two ways for dealing with sin and sinners - law and grace. You can beat people over the head with law when they are too proud or stupid to know anything else, but don't expect it to change them or fix them, but you can use grace when you know they know it is wrong and they are like a sheep stuck in the mud who need to be set free. Tim the author is taking an approach that does not work for people with genuine addictions, but might work for people sitting on the fence or thinking it is harmless amusement. Essentially Jesus never gave sinners a list of "reasons" why they should follow Him or turn from their sin. This is because an addict is not thinking rationally when they pursue their addiction, and a sinner who is used to breaking rules, will not listen to an additional rule to "not do it". The way that Jesus deals with sin or bondages, and addictions, is that he does not tell the person "you are wrong" and condemn them. Jesus never told anyone they had sinned or were wrong. What Jesus did was make people very happy and loved (by caring for them, not judging them, being with them, and being genuinely for them), which causes them to feel great sorrow (as they realize they are unworthy). This is genuine repentance. That is how you treat a sinner and an addict - you give them something that is better than the thing they are addicted to. You treat them better than they deserve. That's why addicts go from soft drugs to hard drugs, they go from one to the next best one, that's why porn addicts go from soft porn to hard porn, because they want something better and better. So you have to give them the best thing we have and that is Jesus Christ, and when you give someone Jesus you give someone grace, because they don't deserve the best thing of all. A list of reasons and saying "don't do it" doesn't work concerning a true addiction but some of the reasons here are misguided anyway. For example, point number 1 tells the reader to consider their own soul, do they want to go to hell? But if this article is for a believer, a porn addict who believes in Christ won't believe they are going to hell. So that won't work. A better question might be, "do you love Jesus more than your self and your pleasure"? Get the focus off the "right versus wrong" legalistic approach and the sinners eternal destiny, and put the focus back on Jesus.

    Secondly, the cost to neighbor, calls it rape. Porn is not rape (unless it is illegal rape porn of course), it is prostitutes or women who get paid (or not) to have sex, willingly, and only a percentage of porn is violent and could be considered "rape". It should better be seen not as rape, but in terms of the terrible working conditions or the lifestyle that these people live, to see that it is not so glamorous after all - a few Christian documentaries have come out like this and I believe they are effective. Then against his may not work either - you've got people buying webcams and doing porn just for fun and a laugh or a few extra bucks. The point is that most addicts live in fantasy world of their own imagination (or what the movies have taught them), break that fantasy world apart and the attraction will disappear.

    The other reasons look good to me.
    There is only one reason I'd add to the list and it is this - Porn is fake and stupid. But even tell that to an addict that won't change them.
    Science has proven that the rush an addict gets is the same as those who shoot up drugs, it affects the same part of the brain.
    Now a porn addiction is different from a sex addiction and the two are often confused, but the addiction mechanism in the brain is the same.
    I believe the best thing a porn addict can do is get married - that's right, get married, to a genuine believer who will actively discourage the behavior. It will replace the fake sex with the real sex. Marriage in itself is supposed to be protection against sexual immorality (not some lofty ideal of a perfect spiritual experience, as many Christians view it). Maybe that's why the divorce rate is so high - high expectations and ideals, lead to big disappointment and downfall. A husband or wife is the best accountability partner, because no pastor or friend can be with a person 24/7, and if a husband or wife is fulfilling their marital duties, there will be no desire left to look at porn.

    In a marriage a wife or husband who says "if you look at porn our relationship is over" is taking the wrong approach IMO. To a porn addict or any kind of addict, drug, alcohol etc, this will make them feel that their partner is better than them, causing mistrust and distance, when in fact in God's eyes they are just as much both sinners , and force the addict to hide or cover up their addiction and make it secret, which will make it worse. This kind of law-based approach has never worked for salvation so it won't work for addictions either. A more wise spouse, taking a grace-based approach, might say to the addict "you can look at porn if you want to....but I want to watch it with you". Firstly it tells the addict "this is not about right or wrong or me being better than you", and "I am prepared to experience this with you, I am just like you", secondly it tells the addict (implicitly) "if you want to look at other women, then I'm going to look at other men!" - this may provoke jealousy in the addict, and then thirdly it should convince the addict that their loving partner with them is real and worth more value than the loveless and fake images they see in porn - "hey, I'm here with you, why are you looking at these strangers and giving your attention to them, what about my needs?". This may only work if the addict has love for their spouse, a conscience or at least some sense that it is wrong. Then you've still got people who do something and don't care how it affects their spouse, in these cases I'd say the marriage is almost over, and a "give it up or I'm leaving" is probably the right approach, and saying "give it up or I'm leaving" will never resolve the problem, but more of a test question to see where the marriage really is at.
     
  4. The Bible talks about sexual immorality just about more than any other sin. Jesus says simply thinking lustful thoughts is the same thing as committing adultery.
    The Bible says adulterers will not enter into the kingdom of God. Pornography and masturbation go hand in hand. The Bible also says that this sinning against your own body ( 1 Cor 6:18; )
    Sexual sin affects us ways that other sins don't. Paul handed a believer over to Satan because of sexual sin ( 1 Cor 5:1-4; ) that "his soul might be saved".
     
  5. #5 rodd, Aug 20, 2014
    Last edited: Aug 20, 2014
    I said, Lord! if you're coming back soon and I belong to you, then I need purification from this. Please do something so I know I belong to you, and all that you've shown to me is the truth and is real.
    I don't look at it any more nor does it drag me in as it once used to. I know I believed God's word and so I applied it to myself regarding this from Daniel 12:10.

    My mind is still a battle ground but it always probably will be, although there has been big break throughs, I don't avoid talking to woman any more, well at least most of the time.
    I guess there are scares on my mind that'll take along time to heal, but I know I'm different and able to experience freedom of thought these days.

    I'm not suggesting a special method, but God always makes good his word and if we claim victory based on his promises now or even future, then his own word says he will do it.
    You need to believe that God will and indeed has to make good his word. His Holy name is at stake and nothing can resist his will including porn.
    Time is very short.
     
  6. I have a porn and sex problem but everytime I pray for God to take over my body so I would not comit this sin anymore I feel that because I been liviing in this type of sin for five years that He has abandon me. The only reason that I can think of why I began doing this is of my loneless and wanting a husband. I am not perfect, but I hate how sin is taking over my life. I been lusting after married men, flirting with the cafertieria worker and have sex dreams.Which been leading to enving their wives and wishing I was them. I was wondering if people on this forum can pray for me and maybe list some advice I can do. Thank you
     
    Sent from a mobile device
  7. Sara - God does not abandon us, we abandon him. There is no sin so great that the sacrifice of Jesus Christ on the cross cannot cover it.

    Lord, You have the name that is above all names. You are Lord forever and there is no one who can challenge Your authority and power. You rule for ever and ever, and there is no end to Your Kingdom.

    I bring Sara before Your throne of grace, and ask that You would look upon her with Your favor. Your word says that You give strength to the weary, so I ask that You would strengthen Sara. Bless her Lord with Your presence, and encourage her heart. Remind her of Your faithfulness and Your love that she might stand in faith against the issues that face her. I bind the schemes of the enemy to tear Sara down, and I rebuke the spirits that have been assigned to harass her. I ask You Lord to minister fresh strength and joy to her. I agree with Your word, that says, Your plans for Sara are to give her hope and a future. Let it be so Jesus, according to Your will. I pray in Your mighty name, Amen!
     
    Christ4Ever likes this.
  8. Sometimes praying is not enough, you must also fast. I will pray for you tonight
     
    ApostleofChrist and Christ4Ever like this.
  9. I struggled with this addiction for so long... Watching it for many years has affected me so much only God knows.
    I can now say my chains are broken. God has set me free.
    I realized that lust and self pleasure are not worth my soul in eternal hell. Now that I have turned away I ask u brothers and sisters to please pray from me. as I've been getting evil dreams and I know its the devil tempting me. God bless everyone.
     
  10. @Joseph M
    Will pray for your coverage of God upon your life, your dreams. That the temptations if not prevented, will dissipate even faster then they have arrived. That the peace of mind, soul and spirit be yours. That victory in Christ Jesus over the flesh continue be yours. Always in Jesus name our supplications will be sent heavenward. Amen.
    YBIC
    C4E
    <><
     
    Dave M likes this.

  11. Thanks for sharing and I will keep you in prayer. I too struggled with this addiction. I thought getting married
    would solve it. It actually didn't. It just revealed to me that the problem was still there. Long story short, I am in
    a place where I'm not being led by the addiction anymore and I feel God has given me back control. The control
    to choose what I want to do. Sadly before it was like I had no choice, I wouldn't want to do it, but would just feel like
    I had no control. Now, even though the urges may still come at times, I feel like I have control and no one can make
    me do it anymore unless I choose to. Even though when I resist(to not backslide) it can feel painful, but I can still choose to endure that short moment of pain as I feel I still have my power to choose given back to me.

    I won't lie, it has been a heck of a journey and sometimes it gets to the point
    where you have to really really really really cry out to God and let Him know that you don't want that in your life and you
    want Him. When I got to the point, the process started. Like I said, my journey has been a heck of a battle, sometimes,
    it would be years would past and almost just about every day or 95% of the days in a year, I would have to be struggling
    overcome. I just had to get to the point when I let God's Grace take over, after I had first truly repented. The enemy wanted
    to have be feel condemned and feelings of condemnation sometimes does not motivate, and when it does, you are motivated
    by fear not love. I got to the point where I was motivated by my love for Jesus and didn't want to hurt Him anymore.

    I think it is good though that the church speak out against porn, even though we shouldn't be legalistic. I think as a past
    addict, that too often the church is silent and we need to let the body of Christ know the truth and the standard. Then
    the small groups and fellowships can love on the person and draw them to Christ in love and grace. But the Pastor should
    plant the seed of truth and make it clear what the standard is so people know what to move towards. I personally was one who could hear a sermon about lust and the consequences of sin and that actually would remind me about what Jesus did for me and draw me closer to Him knowing what He did for me. I know others many be push away by sermons on lust, but I guess I'm weird, they really spoke to me and hearing about the ultimate consequences of sin and the cost to my soul as Chad said, motivated me.

    You will overcome Sara, truth and believe.
     
    Tiffany Hall, JohnP and Christ4Ever like this.
  12. Sara - I understand your struggle - and so does everyone on this forum, because we were all there - Romans 3 verse 23.

    Wonderful news - There is victory in Christ. But this victory is not going to fall out of thin air on us :) We have to put God's word of truth into action - and that is how He empower us to victory.

    Hebrews 12 verse 4 - In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood.

    We have to take on the battle against sin and not giving in to it - Romans 6 verse 1 + 2 - What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means! We are those who have died to sin; how can we live in it any longer.

    1 Corinthians 10 verse 16 - Is not the cup of thanksgiving for which we give thanks a participation in the blood of Christ? And is not the bread that we break a participation in the body of Christ?

    Hebrews 13 verse 13 - Therefore let us go to Him outside the camp, bearing the disgrace He bore.


    To participate in the blood of Christ, is to allow God to perform His works through us - and if we are obedient in this, we experience God's power.


    1 Thessalonians 5 verse 17 - Pray continually. In all of the above is my prayer to God for you Sara.

    You are a VICTORIOUS in CHRIST.

    God Bless You.


     
    Jesus_is_LORD, Chad and Christ4Ever like this.
  13. #13 Chad, Jun 8, 2016
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 8, 2016
    You're not alone. Sexual lust is in my opinion, the predominant sinful struggle for people. However, there's victory in Christ. Sanctification is a lifetime process not overnight. Also, put on the armor of God every morning. Find an accountability partner, an elder perhaps of the same sex of course, at church.
     
    Sent from an iPhone
  14. right behind you, covering you
     
  15. Hi, Chad,
    In a way, I agree. However, I think there is a deeper question here: What is the reason for teh attraction to the pron in the first place? I think the answer is that some people are unable to find a sexual partner who will fulfill their fondest desires. That's a shame. They should be encouraged to look harder, as there is no substitute for the real thing.
     
  16. I wrote a huge reply but the computer deleted it- I am just going to quickly recap what I said;
    - Watching porn DIRECTALLY influences human trafficking
    - It creates a higher demand for it
    - Lets say the last time you watched porn was a week ago- I can almost guarantee you she is dead...
    - When she dies guess what- they need to go find another
    - You may think slavery isn't a big thing nowadays- You are wrong- There are more slaves now than there ever were in all of history
    - Men and women were BOTH created in the image of God
    It is time that all us men start treating women with respect- Watching porn isn't respecting the woman you are watching anyways.
    We need to keep our thoughts pure. I am only 16, and when I see how adult men act, it disgusts me.
     
    Christ4Ever likes this.
  17. @Everybodylivesforever
    You stay faithful, pure and holy little brother!
    With the Love of Christ Jesus.
    YBIC
    Nick
    <><
     

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