Hello all!

This is hard for me, because I don't know where to begin, I don't know what's the most important question to ask, and I also don't want to be viewed as coming from an argumentative standpoint. I am genuinely seeking answers, but have come across some roadblocks. I do not mean to offend or put anyone off. I hope I don't, as I'm doing my best to be respectful. I just have questions that I cannot find answers to on my own (yet), and I'm looking for some direction and other perspectives.

I have no support at home, my husband is an adamant atheist, and I don't know many other people. Which brings me to my first question(s).
How important is it to go to church, and how do you know what kind of church to go to?

A Christian church seems the obvious answer, but it's not as easy as that. There seems to be many different kinds of Christianity. How do you know which path is right? They all seem to claim that their way is 'the only way'. Does it really matter what denomination?

I have visited a couple of churches in my area, and the experiences have not been so great. I went to a UU Church, and they seemed to talk more about why Christianity was wrong than right. I went to a Pentecostal church, and maybe it's just inexperience, I don't know, but I got kinda freaked out. It wasn't what I thought church was I guess. Instead it was a lot of singing and dancing and laying hands and such, which ended up with them putting me on the spot right in the middle of everyone asking me to become a Christian and a member of their church. It was very uncomfortable to me, and they almost seemed offended when I declined. But there was no teaching at all - I went there to learn and didn't learn anything except the words to a couple of songs. I went to a Methodist Church and the woman (who coincidentally is my son's best friend's mother) who was ministering (I'm still unclear on what to call people - minister, pastor, preacher, reverend?) was very unsettling. She was nice enough, very welcoming, but I felt very judged. Very judged. Maybe that's just my own insecurities, too, though. I guess I just expected to feel more accepted than condemned. There weren't many people at that church though, so maybe I'm not alone in feeling that way. Then again - maybe I'm reading into it to fit my own agenda. It's hard to tell. I'm very confused. I live in a very Christian community, so there is no lack of churches to attend, it's just - how do you pick one, and how do you know it's the right one?

Are there any churches that actually teach? I feel like all the teaching is done in Sunday School for the kids, and being almost 35, I don't think I would fit in there. The Sunday services I have attended have been just reading a few verses (up to a chapter) out of the Bible and singing a song or three or four. No perspective on the readings, no other information given. I know the Bible says you're supposed to fellowship, but I can (and do) read at home. Why bother going if that's all there is? It probably sounds selfish, but I want (and feel I need) more. I honestly feel that I get more out of listening to Christian talk radio than going to church. But I have a desire and need to interact with others.

I have many more questions, and believe me, I will be asking, but I thought this was a good place to get started. I hope I haven't offended anyone by sharing my experiences, and I hope someone will be able to give me some guidance.
Thanks

Left a P.M..... and a link to just teaching without the goofy stuff...

I am sure others will come with different opinions, and things to check out... This forum is made of many different denominations...

Jesus Is Lord.

Originally Posted by Scarlett

Hello all!

This is hard for me, because I don't know where to begin, I don't know what's the most important question to ask, and I also don't want to be viewed as coming from an argumentative standpoint. The most important thing here is that your asking and searching for truth I am genuinely seeking answers, but have come across some roadblocks. I do not mean to offend or put anyone off. I hope I don't, as I'm doing my best to be respectful. I just have questions that I cannot find answers to on my own (yet), and I'm looking for some direction and other perspectives.

I have no support at home, my husband is an adamant atheist, and I don't know many other people. Which brings me to my first question(s).
How important is it to go to church, and how do you know what kind of church to go to? Church is very important but this is my opinion from many years experience: It should be in order of importance, Jesus, you and Jesus, Family and then Church and church family.

A Christian church seems the obvious answer, but it's not as easy as that. There seems to be many different kinds of Christianity. Here is Christianity in a nutshell:
Ephesians 2:8
New International Version (NIV)

⁸ For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—

This Grace is the New testament or New Covenant and the opposite of the LAW or the OLd Testament and Old Covenant. The Law is a set of requirements that YOU have to do in order to be saved. Grace is exactly as God says above, it is Gods love and salvation for you and it is a gift and if it is a gift it is free, you don't earn it, you believe and it is given to you.
Now you will get many different variations of this and you have to decided for yourself. Here are just two that are false ( as I and others see it):
1. You must be baptisted in water to be saved.
2. If you don't speak in tongues your not saved.

The way you know that they are false is that though they can be some wonderful and Biblical experiences, they are requirements, must-do's or else you are not saved. These are classic stuck in the Law and not saved by Grace.

How do you know which path is right? Don't take it from someone else, pray and ask the Holy Spirit give you discernment.They all seem to claim that their way is 'the only way'. Does it really matter what denomination? When time is right, find a good church that teaches from the Bible, NO Exception!!! Two reasons why denomnations of Christianity doesn't matter: (1) There are none of our current denominations in the Bible or Heaven.
I have visited a couple of churches in my area, and the experiences have not been so great. I went to a UU Church, and they seemed to talk more about why Christianity was wrong than right. I went to a Pentecostal church, and maybe it's just inexperience, I don't know, but I got kinda freaked out. It wasn't what I thought church was I guess. Instead it was a lot of singing and dancing and laying hands and such, which ended up with them putting me on the spot right in the middle of everyone asking me to become a Christian and a member of their church. It was very uncomfortable to me, and they almost seemed offended when I declined. Good for you!!! But there was no teaching at all - I went there to learn and didn't learn anything except the words to a couple of songs. I went to a Methodist Church and the woman (who coincidentally is my son's best friend's mother) who was ministering (I'm still unclear on what to call people - minister, pastor, preacher, reverend?) was very unsettling. She was nice enough, very welcoming, but I felt very judged. Very judged. Maybe that's just my own insecurities, too, though. I guess I just expected to feel more accepted than condemned. Thank God you left. A congregations job is to be open, accepting and loving with absolutely no judgement and here is why: Romans 8:1 (paraphrasing) For now there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ. If Christ does not judge a true Christian how can they possibly?
There weren't many people at that church though, so maybe I'm not alone in feeling that way. Then again - maybe I'm reading into it to fit my own agenda. It's hard to tell. I'm very confused. I live in a very Christian community, so there is no lack of churches to attend, it's just - how do you pick one, and how do you know it's the right one? Again, you can tell Christians by there love for one another and preach from the Bible.
Are there any churches that actually teach? I feel like all the teaching is done in Sunday School for the kids, and being almost 35, I don't think I would fit in there. The Sunday services I have attended have been just reading a few verses (up to a chapter) out of the Bible and singing a song or three or four. No perspective on the readings, no other information given. I know the Bible says you're supposed to fellowship, but I can (and do) read at home. Why bother going if that's all there is? It probably sounds selfish, but I want (and feel I need) more. I honestly feel that I get more out of listening to Christian talk radio than going to church. But I have a desire and need to interact with others. Keep looking, God has the right place for you somewhere. Again, I tell my Sunday School class, Three things are the most important; You, the Bible and the Holy Spirit ( Jesus). Keep that going and everything in your life will fall in place.
I have many more questions, and believe me, I will be asking, but I thought this was a good place to get started. I hope I haven't offended anyone by sharing my experiences, and I hope someone will be able to give me some guidance. No, you are in a great place and you are exactly what T.J. should be all about: Seeking God and understanding.
Thanks

This is a great post. Welcome to T.J. . I put all my answers red above.
God Bless and stay in Gods word and know that you are saved and should have full hope in Glory!

Yes indeed---Keep visiting the various types of fellowship available in your area until the Lord starts to draw you back to one of them more than the others---Don't make it sound like such a bone in the throat---It can be exciting and fun visiting all the different ones and seeing how the Lord works so diversely and yet it's the same Lord and same spirit----Some of course are kooky and off the wall and soon enough you'll be able to discern the difference---Many are cults, so you need to beware of that too--Read Proverbs 3:5-6.

Happy

G'day Scarlett,

It's too bad your husband isn't seeking a church with you as this would make it less daunting and more enjoyable. All in good time though eh.

All you can do is pray for guidance and continue to attend church groups until you find one that suits. Be careful, though, that you're not trying find a "perfect" church because it doesn't exist. As you continue to study the scriptures you will become more settled in the type of church you seek.
It's good you are looking for a church that offers solid bible teaching.
Personally I don't believe a woman can be a pastor but many today think otherwise.

Seek and you will find.

God bless.

Grace and Peace

Welcome to talkJesus. Yes as Brother Mike mention this site is made up of many denominations, but this is not to fear. It is better you hear 10 doctrines and research it than hearing 1 doctrine from one man who says he and he only have the truth. It is times like these one can be easily deceived so listen to what everyone have posted here with an open mind.

Brother RJ said it best.

How do you know which path is right? Don't take it from someone else, pray and ask the Holy Spirit give you discernment.They all seem to claim that their way is 'the only way'. Does it really matter what denomination? When time is right, find a good church that teaches from the Bible, NO Exception!!! Two reasons why denomnations of Christianity doesn't matter: (1) There are none of our current denominations in the Bible or Heaven.

Starting at home is a great start, if you have any close friends interested in having a bible study or study over the phone is great. The early disciples meet at river banks and each other houses for fellowship. You can purchase study guides or find free ones online for your small group or family. Be open and ask God for wisdom. I enjoy home fellowships because there's more interaction, accountability, free to ask questions and it's more personal. In your journey don't "think" you have to find a building or denomination, be open to the fellowship that have 5 people and not 500, meets in a basement and not a grand building. The home fellowship might a good setting for your spouse, it's not intimidating and does not fit into any stereotypes.

Matthew 18:20 For where two or three gather together as my followers, I am there among them.

You do not need a building to find God. There's no perfect church and each individual is responsible for finding the truth. God's truth and not man's truth. At the end you still have to test all things and do your own study when you find a church.

What RJ said is important, concerning.. find a good church that teaches from the Bible, NO Exception!!

The church have become a motivational platform, 2 bible verses and the remaining 40mins pastor telling a story.

You are in the right place, ask all the questions you want.
Your family is in my prayers

Thanks for all the responses! I apologize for not responding until now - I've been out of town.

First, I have to say - What a great place this is! I sincerely appreciate hearing your perspectives and feeling welcome to ask questions. I'm so glad I found this forum!

I am going to visit another church this Sunday and I'm pretty excited about it. Nervous, but excited.

Thanks again.
:)

-Scarlett

Praying that you find the right church soon, where others can meet your needs & you can meet others'.

I don't know what cities are closest to you, so check-out below site for non-denominational churches in your area or pm ok cities.

(True non-denominational is not a denomination but a hodgepodge who choose to put aside there differences.)

Locate a Church Using Our Christian Church Directory - USA Church

Welcome to TJ, Scarlett. Here's a website that provides lots of answers without sending people into brain overload: Ask Questions about Life and God

Spirit Led Ed (SLE)

Welcome to TalkJesus Scarlett. There are many threads here at TJ you can review and please don't hesitate to ask questions.