One of the biggest problems with the topic of divorce is people mix the old and new covenants up. Matt chapter 19 must be taken in context with who Jesus was talking to, why he said what he said, and why was the dialog going on.
I corth 10: 32 tells us there are three groups we must rightly divide when we read the bible, the church, the Jews and the lost or gentiles
Matt 19 address divorce but in regards to a question the Pharisees asked him. He was addressing the question they asked him about Marriage under the LAW. It also states they were trying to tempt him to break the Law so they would have grounds to arrest him and discredit him. Jesus explained that divorce was granted by Moses due to the hardness of people’s heart. However, Jesus stated it was not so in the beginning. God never intended divorce, however, once sin entered the earth, divorce is a fact of life. We must understand that the church was NEVER to fall under the Law; neither was the world or gentiles. The law was written to the Jews, so he is addressing divorce under the Law and the Jews.
Today, the Jewish law about divorce does not pertain to you and I. God still hates divorce, but the church falls under the law of LOVE. I could say allot of things here, but know this. God does not like divorce, but loves people who have divorced. The church has so blown out of proportion Matt 19 that you can murder someone and get forgiveness, but if you divorce someone you are an out cast. They use the scriptures in Titus 1: 6, and I Tim 3: 2 and miss use it. When it says a leader should have one wife, they are talking about at that time of office and not talking about having been divorced. You must remember that Timothy and Titus were dealing with a culture that allowed multiple wives. It is not talking about divorce. Romans 7: 1-5 is not talking about divorce but comparing a marriage to us dying to the Law. He is saying that if a womens husband dies, she is no longer under the law of marriage and is free to marry. The marriage Law does not apply. Its the same with us, we died with Christ and have risen to a new life FREE FROM THE LAW so we are no longer under its rule. You can get some teaching about marriage from it, but its specifically teaching us that when you died with Christ, you are free from the Law of Moses and are now under Grace. Your dead!
Now like I said, God hates divorce because it creates chaos in the home and hurts the kids, husband and wife. It tears your heart and cause's great strife. Adultery is wrong, if a husband or wife is being abused mentally, physically I have no problem with a divorce, especially in sexual abuse. However, I would counsel a couple to seek the Law of Love first and do their very best to work things out. But we all know that many times a spouse is innocent of wrong doing and is the victim in the divorce. So, we must walk in love toward our mates, and the church must walk in love to the divorcees and stop saying God can not use them or they can not remarry. The stipulation that adultery is the only reason for divorce keeps the line fine so people are not just divorcing for any reason. However, as a pastor, I have advised spouse's to seek a divorce when there is no chance the covenant of marriage can be restored. I know a man who caught his wife cheating on him 16 times in a twenty year period. Her heart was not going to change so they divorced. I also know a woman who was beaten by her husband on a regular basis and I recommend they divorce. The husband was not going to change and there is no reason for the women to endure that kind of life. If the kids are being abused sexually or physically, get the heck out of the home. Try counseling, but if either spouse will not change, move on and allow God to restore them so they can get on with living their lives.
The church is so dogmatic and mean spirited to people it amazes me. Jesus in John chapter eight reveals Gods heart. The women caught in adultery should have been stoned along with the man, but he extended mercy and restoration and he did it under the law. How much more should we do the same now that we are under Grace and Love???
I am totally against sexual sin and a greasy grace, but each divorce case must be examined on an individual basis. If God can restore and forgive, then so must I.
I have a pastor friend who was divorced by his wife because she could not stand ministry. His denomination kicked him out, took his papers and said God would never use him as a pastor due to his divorce. He was innocent. He spent 15 years working in the secular world, trying to over come the stigma the church attached to him. One day, he studied the word and through the help of others he saw that God wanted to still use him even though he was divorce. He is now traveling as an evangelist and has a church of his own and he is blowing and going for God.




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