Thank you for the excellent verses and the kind words...you are right. The devil will stop at nothing to keep me haunted with my loss and wrong doings. I need to trust in God and make sure to motivate myself to push forward.

God bless you my friend.

C4E, I have read this probably 10 different times now...thats how much it has helped. I've decided to write out some lists of positive things to keep me busy each day and occupy my time. God is great, and more I keep my eyes focused on him the better each day will be! God sent me to right place when he sent me to this forum. Being able to sign on and talk with you all has been helping me tremendously. This is the first time in a long time that I feel like I can overcome my demons.

I ask you all to pray for me to stay on the right track. As I'm sure you all know, it's so easy to lose focus and derail progress. God bless you all

God is Good all the time brother! I and I'm sure others here will continue to pray for you.

2 Corinthians 1:7
And our hope of you [is] stedfast, knowing, that as ye are partakers of the sufferings, so [shall ye be] also of the consolation.

1 John 4:4
Ye are of God, little children, and have overcome them: because greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world.

Thank you brother! I always enjoy new scriptures! I'm continuing moving forward everyday. This journey has been a challenging one. I'm truely trying to change for the better. I'm not perfect, but God is!! I'm so lucky to have him leading my life.

Continue to stay positive and take one step at a time brother. We are changed little by little from the moment we became believers of Christ Jesus. Even though the change isn't always quick or at times noticeable, we continue to hold on to the Hope that is Jesus that it will be completed!

Philippians 1:6
Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform [it] until the day of Jesus Christ:

YBIC
C4E

Thank you Christ4Ever. I'm still struggling to stay on track. I've been facing severe exhaustion each day to the point where I just sleep and work. I've been telling myself I need to get up and do more and read scripture more. Theres things from my past that still haunt me. I work nights...and each morning when I come home I check on my mother. With my brother now gone, she clinges to me. She has a sister who is threatening to commit suicide and the images and emotions of my brothers death are still very fresh. He passed away only 11 months ago. I used to be a respected public speaker, a team leader and mentor to employees. My drive vanished as I fought through my darkest days and allowed myself to let wrong things control me. Please continue to pray for me. I love and need God. I don't want to stray from him or ignore him. Life can be a huge challenge at times and things happen that we just don't understand. But I'm thankful that I serve a merciful God and have this support group to come to. God Bless

Dear Brother
It’s as if you haven’t had time to mourn the loss of your brother. The need to be strong to your family seems to be there all the time. It hasn’t given you time to mourn. Allow yourself to mourn my brother. You have been there for others. Allow Him to be there for you. He will be there for you! He will comfort you. Know that His love for you is great and unceasing.

Matthew 5:4 Blessed (are) they that mourn: for they shall be comforted.

The only way to let it go is to give to Him who knows your pain, your loneliness.

Mark 15:34 And at the ninth hour Jesus cried with a loud voice, saying, Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani? which is, being interpreted, My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?

He will hold you up brother. He is faithful to strengthen those of His who are wounded and support His children who are weighted down. His might is your might. His sovereignty lifts your head in these upsetting times you're going through. Look to Him for your rest and comfort! You’ll find it there brother!

Psalm 145:14 The Lord upholdeth all that fall, and raiseth up all (those that be) bowed down.

You know where your help will come from! He is the Creator of all things!

Psalm 121:1-2 I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help. My help (cometh) from the Lord, which made heaven and earth.

Believe He is sufficient to all the things you are going through right now! No matter the storms that come into our lives, we know we are taken care of.

2 Timothy 1:12 For the which cause I also suffer these things: nevertheless I am not ashamed: for I know whom I have believed, and am persuaded that he is able to keep that which I have committed unto him against that day.

Praise Him, Praise Him, Praise Him, even as the tears roll down your face, Praise Him! It will almost seem that you’re going over the edge, but know that He will be there to catch you! Allow Him to engulf you with the Love and Peace that only He can give!

John 14:27 Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.

You as a speaker, a team leader, and mentor to others, which has built you up almost to the point where you feel you have to be able to do it all yourself! No one can do it all, no matter how great you are in doing these things, your needs require attention as well. Others have had you to help them, but remember you have someone even better! Jesus! Remember He picked you!

John 6:44 No man can come to Me unless the Father who sent Me draws him.

Because He picked you, know He will take care of you as well! Let Him! He wants to! It’s no sign of weakness my brother. It’s a strength! He is your King, your Lord, and should be your everything. Allow Him to be just that.

Know you are Loved by the Lord brother, as you are by me and so many others! Our prayers are with you!
YBIC
Nick