I want to kill myself...

I know that its sinful and unholy for me to think about this, but I can't help it. I try to stop myself and fall right back into it. And I know that it might be stupid/pathetic but its how I feel...I want to pray, I want to put it in God's hands, but every time I start to pray, I don't finish, Please help. I know everyone is busy doing their own thing and no one probably cares but please, I'm close to letting go...

I think one of the difficulties in todays world is the on-line community.
It's great we can communicate with people half way around the world in a few seconds.

On the other hand, it's extremely difficult to get to know people. What they like, what they don't like.
Who they love. Who or what has hurt them. How life is treating them.

I wish I could say more, do more... but at this point, I will pray for you.
It may seem that the world doesn't care about you. But I assure you everyone isn't that way.
I know Jesus loves you. It may sound like a cliche thing that Christians say to everyone but that doesn't make it less true.
One of the secrets I've found... is just go ahead and talk to Jesus. Just like you do to your friends.
I doesn't have to be thee's and thous, or any special way. Just tell Him how you feel.
The reason its hard to finish talking to Jesus sometimes is because Satan tries to distract us. If he is distracting you that
means you're doing something that bothers him. I wonder what that might be.

In the meantime... I will be praying for you. (I'm sure others on here will also).

Glad to pray for you. I would hug you if I could for the emotional support you need. Yet here we are in an impersonal median in an impersonal world. If we knew what was depressing you so much that you wanted to take your life, perhaps we could offer advise, but I dont know that you are willing to share. I could tell you it will get better, because it probably will, but I really know nothing about you other than your desire to take your life, so I cant even truthfully say that to you. Can you speak more of the circumstances that are leading to this?

Elyza said:

I know everyone is busy doing their own thing and no one probably cares but please,

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I can't say your totally wrong but God is doing his own thing to.
One of his own things is you.
He is looking for someone to hang out with and he is finding the exact same issue as you.
If you find it hard to talk to him ask him to talk to you.
It's not always easy to hear him because he uses your thoughts and you might just think it is your imagination.
But the way to tell the difference is that God is love and love is kind.

1 Corinthians 13:4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
1 Corinthians 13:5 or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.
1 Corinthians 13:6 It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.
1 Corinthians 13:7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

God is love so he is always going to lead you to a better place in your life and relationships with others.
I think you are feeling the lack of love in this world and that's the same lack of love that killed Jesus.
Jesus wants us to know his sorrow and why he did what he did to overcome the lack of love in the world.
Then he wants us to know the joy in the victory he attained over the world.

I am asking the Father in Jesus name to send you his Holy Spirit and to reveal to you the joy that resides in the saints.
I also ask that his light shine in your heart and mind.

Since God is love anything we do out of love brings us closer to joy of the lord because love is after all very joyful and fun.
Please keep us informed because we are into God's own thing.
Peace and Godspeed.

Dearest Elyza, I know how you feel, for I have been having suicidal thoughts for the past 6 months or so. It is hard, I know. And it is very, very lonely. Even when you're in a room full of people, you are all alone. The only thing we really have in this world is God Elyza. And even when you're connection with Him feels weak, that's when you have to purpose in your heart not to give up on Him. Hold on Elyza don't give up.
I know someone who committed suicide, he was a Christian. But some days I wonder where he is. Did he make it into Heaven ? Even learned scholars whose career it is to study the Holy Word all day, everyday, can not agree amongst themselves the answer to this question. So, to be on the safe side I stay put. Only God can decide when it is time for us to go. I just had to tell you that you are not alone in feeling alone. And that a lot of people have these feelings. And that it was very brave of you to cry out for help. Too many people keep it to themselves, and before you know it, it's too late. I think the fact that you posted this shows that you are a fighter. A strong person admits that they can't do it alone, We all need each other. And I know that sometimes it's hard to find someone, the right someone, to come to your aid. I'm still waiting for mine Elyza. Someone to help me understand God better. But in the end, I keep holding on. God is there for you Elyza, He heard your heart when it cried out in silence to Him.

Yes, God hears silence.

And I hear you too.

Hold on.

Not pretending to understand you, but I believe in a measure that I understand God. You must reach out to Him in spite of the difficulty of doing so. Continue to try and I along with others here will be praying for you.

Elyza said:

I know that its sinful and unholy for me to think about this, but I can't help it. I try to stop myself and fall right back into it. And I know that it might be stupid/pathetic but its how I feel...I want to pray, I want to put it in God's hands, but every time I start to pray, I don't finish, Please help. I know everyone is busy doing their own thing and no one probably cares but please, I'm close to letting go...

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Elyza!
Why would you want to commit suicide when you are so precious to God?
So precious His only begotten Son died on the Cross for you! Yes for You Elyza!

That is why I will ask this question. Do you know the Lord Jesus Christ as your Savior?
Have you turned your life over to Him to?
Opened yourself to Him that the one who may help you, guide, open you to a new you? A Born again you!
Do you know Him Elyza?

That He not only died on the Cross for you, but rose again on the third day as proof that there is nothing that can bind you that He can't loosen you from. Do you know that Elyza? Do you know Him?

He loves you as we love you here Elyza. Even if you don't know Him as your Savior, we still love you Elyza.
That is why I want to make sure that you do know Him as Lord and Savior. Your life is too precious no matter what it is that is happening in your life right now to throw it away, even if you don't see it at the moment.

We've all felt a sense of hopelessness at different times of our lives. A sense of despair. As if a better tomorrow has already happened and you missed it. I can only speak for me in this, but I know others would agree. That things can and will get better through the knowledge, belief of and in Jesus Christ. For no matter what happens in life He will never leave you nor forsake you. He's always there with a hand outstretched to grab yours, to put it around your shoulders, to hold you in His embrace. To shower you with His Love. You only have to let him and turn to Him.

Allow your soul to cry out to Him. He will hear you and respond. When a peace that you won't even comprehend fully, falls upon you, even as the tears roll down your face. You will know that He is near. He already knows your need Elyza. You just need to take that first step to Him. He will meet you more than half-way.

I will pray for you.
Lord. Father God. Words fail me in my plea for Elyza Lord. The heaviness that is happening in her life is weighting her down in hopelessness. Touch her heart, her mind, her very soul that she may know your mercy, grace, peace, and love. Let her know that you have all these for her. That there may be doubt that she is beloved by you. Fill the emptiness that seeks to overwhelm her dear Father. I plead before you to have mercy upon her. That in doubt, she might find strength of purpose. In hopelessness, she may find hope eternal in your Son. In turmoil that she may find waves of serenity washing over her. Letting her know that you are there with her always. Hear my supplications and those who also are praying for her dear Father. In the name of your Son Jesus we pray this. Amen.

I will continue to pray for you Elyza.
Always remember there is Hope in the Lord! Today and Always!

C4E
<><

So why do you think that is the Answer. What Problem is so great that it is worth your Life.
I suppose now in the middle of what ever the trouble it seems like the only choice. I have been there when I was younger, where I felt it would be better not to occupy space because for me I was just Lonely
I had shut myself off from the world and Mostly from God. He Does Love you and He does listen the problem ( at least with me I can't speak for anyone else) we pray and expect something like a dove coming down from heaven God can do that but there are many other wonders that are taken for granted. God shares so much with us we just need to do the things we were ment to do made to do that is why life gets so out of whack and its worse when your younger cause of all the changes going on. I love God but I still get sad and I'm 51 but I do know one thing there is a time for all things sadness, anger, Love.
God shares with us everything. God comforts us he helps us even when we don't ask sometime, in the same way if we go out and try to help someone in need we get that good feeling. It revives me It makes feel that I am worth more than gold when I help someone. I believe that Good feeling is a taste of his divinity that is why God is Love cause that is what he does goes out help us all imagine the good feeling he has He does this 24/7 for Eternity. I say go find someone who is sad/depressed for some reason and talk to them ONLY you or someone like you can understand them. Hold each other up and you will feel better.
And when you do always thank the God who make you. P.S Go out and help and help others like you it will keep you in Good Sprirts.

May the Peace of Our Lord Jesus Christ be with you forever and ever.

king1 said:

So why do you think that is the Answer. What Problem is so great that it is worth your Life.
I suppose now in the middle of what ever the trouble it seems like the only choice. I have been there when I was younger, where I felt it would be better not to occupy space because for me I was just Lonely
I had shut myself off from the world and Mostly from God. He Does Love you and He does listen the problem ( at least with me I can't speak for anyone else) we pray and expect something like a dove coming down from heaven God can do that but there are many other wonders that are taken for granted. God shares so much with us we just need to do the things we were ment to do made to do that is why life gets so out of whack and its worse when your younger cause of all the changes going on. I love God but I still get sad and I'm 51 but I do know one thing there is a time for all things sadness, anger, Love.
God shares with us everything. God comforts us he helps us even when we don't ask sometime, in the same way if we go out and try to help someone in need we get that good feeling. It revives me It makes feel that I am worth more than gold when I help someone. I believe that Good feeling is a taste of his divinity that is why God is Love cause that is what he does goes out help us all imagine the good feeling he has He does this 24/7 for Eternity. I say go find someone who is sad/depressed for some reason and talk to them ONLY you or someone like you can understand them. Hold each other up and you will feel better.
And when you do always thank the God who make you. P.S Go out and help and help others like you it will keep you in Good Sprirts.

May the Peace of Our Lord Jesus Christ be with you forever and ever.

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Elyza I listen to this song sometime when I'm down. Hope this helps

Elyza said:

I know that its sinful and unholy for me to think about this, but I can't help it. I try to stop myself and fall right back into it. And I know that it might be stupid/pathetic but its how I feel...I want to pray, I want to put it in God's hands, but every time I start to pray, I don't finish, Please help. I know everyone is busy doing their own thing and no one probably cares but please, I'm close to letting go...

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I am praying for you.

Elyza said:

I know that its sinful and unholy for me to think about this, but I can't help it. I try to stop myself and fall right back into it. And I know that it might be stupid/pathetic but its how I feel...I want to pray, I want to put it in God's hands, but every time I start to pray, I don't finish, Please help. I know everyone is busy doing their own thing and no one probably cares but please, I'm close to letting go...

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Elyza could you respond so we can know your alright Please

Hello sweetie. I just realized today that you are only 15. This is suppose to be the time of your life precious one to Christ. I am a loner too, and also feel hated, even though I am an adult. Have always been one. PLEASE DON'T MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE I HAVE MADE by not seeking professional counseling sooner! I have been to a shrink a couple of times but I wish I had gone as a teen, heck, even a child. I was always withdrawn due to heavy duty mistreatment at home. But no one really cared back in the day, but it is soooo different now. There are so many people who are trained to help you.
Please seek out someone, anyone. I know it's summertime so there is no school right now, but can you ask your parents to take you to the doctor cause you are not feeling well ? And then once alone with him or her you can tell them what you have been feeling and going through and then they can direct you to a specialist.
It really does help to reach out Elyza, and I was scared at first cause I am very shy, but it becomes easier. But this is important Elyza : if you feel as if someone is not caring enough or giving you the kind of love and support you really need, well, then forget them, and just keep trying to find someone else, anyone who will listen and be there for you. We are here for you. (HUG)
I myself have 2 locations of 2 different shrinks in my area saved on my computer. I'm just working up the courage to go see them. The last one I saw was kind of robotic, so like I told you, I just said "bye", cause in my opinion she is in the wrong profession. But I am not going to give up Elyza, and I don't want you to either. Keep looking and asking and searching, but what ever you do, don't give up.
Please come back and talk to us some more. We are concerned about you. And I KNOW God is going to heal your spirit from this horrible disease called depression. Just keep hanging on. I know you can do it. You are stronger than you know. It takes a lot of strength to be a loner. Some people with a lot of friends do not realize this.


CallingOnHim </3

I agree.. when you are alone bad thoughts can overwhelm us. Unfortunately some of our "friends" can also be a negative influence upon us.
It's amazing the negativity found on television these days. A quick flip through the channels shows us we have no hope. Either zombies will get us,
or aliens, or the judges on American idol will get us. I'm exaggerating a little, but not much.
Get around other believers, get around people who can give you good, positive, Godly advice. Get around people you can care for and who care for you.
I realize this is sometimes easier said than done, but sometimes we ourselves choose to stay in the dungeons we create for ourselves.
I'm not sure what your relationship with Jesus is... but I know this... He can set you free. He CAN set you free!!

Hi @Elyza

I'm glad you came to this forum and I hope you take in fully what everyone is telling you, in love and support. Suicide simply put, is saying God is not enough and unable to turn your situation and circumstances around. I can tell you, He is more than enough to comfort your heart, soul and spirit. He is enough to heal your hurts, restore your joy.

Please read this article snippet from Gotquestions.org, it's insightful.

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You may feel like you are in the deepest pit, and you doubt there is any hope of things getting better. No one seems to care or understand where you are coming from. Life just is not worth living...or is it?

If you will take a few moments to consider letting God truly be God in your life right now, He will prove how big He really is, “for nothing is impossible with God” (Luke 1:37). Perhaps scars from past hurts have resulted in an overwhelming sense of rejection or abandonment. That may lead to self-pity, anger, bitterness, vengeful thoughts, or unhealthy fears that have caused problems in some of your most important relationships.

Why should you not commit suicide? Friend, no matter how bad things are in your life, there is a God of love who is waiting for you to let Him guide you through your tunnel of despair and out into His marvelous light. He is your sure hope. His name is Jesus.

This Jesus, the sinless Son of God, identifies with you in your time of rejection and humiliation. The prophet Isaiah wrote of Him in Isaiah 53:2-6, describing Him as a man who was “despised and rejected” by everyone. His life was full of sorrow and suffering. But the sorrows He bore were not His own; they were ours. He was pierced, wounded, and crushed, all because of our sin. Because of His suffering, our lives can be redeemed and made whole.

Friend, Jesus Christ endured all this so that you might have all your sins forgiven. Whatever weight of guilt you carry, know that He will forgive you if you humbly receive Him as your Savior. “...Call upon me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you...” (Psalm 50:15). Nothing you have ever done is too bad for Jesus to forgive. Some of His choicest servants committed gross sins like murder (Moses), murder and adultery (King David), and physical and emotional abuse (the apostle Paul). Yet they found forgiveness and a new abundant life in the Lord. “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!” (2 Corinthians 5:17).

Why should you not commit suicide? Friend, God stands ready to repair what is “broken,” namely, the life you have now, the life you want to end by suicide. In Isaiah 61:1-3, the prophet wrote, “The LORD has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor…to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve…to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.”

Come to Jesus, and let Him restore your joy and usefulness as you trust Him to begin a new work in your life. He promises to restore the joy you have lost and give you a new spirit to sustain you. Your broken heart is precious to Him: “The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise” (Psalm 51:12, 15-17).

Will you accept the Lord as your Savior and Shepherd? He will guide your thoughts and steps—one day at a time—through His Word, the Bible. “I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you” (Psalm 32:8). “He will be the sure foundation for your times, a rich store of salvation and wisdom and knowledge; the fear of the LORD is the key to this treasure” (Isaiah 33:6). In Christ, you will still have struggles, but you will now have hope. He is “a friend who sticks closer than a brother” (Proverbs 18:24). May the grace of the Lord Jesus be with you in your hour of decision.

If you desire to trust Jesus Christ as your Savior, speak these words in your heart to God: “God, I need you in my life. Please forgive me for all that I have done. I place my faith in Jesus Christ and believe that He is my Savior. Please cleanse me, heal me, and restore my joy in life. Thank You for Your love for me and for Jesus' death on my behalf.”

Greetings @Elyza

How are you?

Keep in touch!

Bless you ....><>

you have so much purpose in your life I pray that the lord brings peace cling to Jesus and continue on praying no prayer is to small Jesus hears every prayer and he is there to comfort you and help you . you are not alone god is with you always god bless you I know you have a great purpose here on earth and I pray for joy and peace over your life and that the lord Jesus may touch your heart and fill you with his love and joy god bless in Jesus name

Just know that u are not alone. I have been in the dark place u are experiencing now. 4 weeks ago I attempted suicide. The lord had a greater purpose for me. I was so angry at the time that I cussed him out. 2 weeks now I have been battling my inner demons to do it again. My kids are what hold me here. I don't know what Ur story is but search deep inside and find that 1 thing or person that means everything to u. Suicide ends Ur pain but leaves it for someone else.

Please know how much our Lord loves you and hurts that you are hurting...please please please battle the thoughts that are trying to trick you. Ephesians 6:10-19...When those thoughts come up...praise Him, sing to Him....know that you are spiritual warrior. I will be praying for you.