I am not a parent, but I would love answers from
parents themselves.
At Winn-Dixie the other day, a small child was causing
a little chaos in the store, running around bouncing
balls and not putting them back, and he knocked
some items off shelves by accident, but didn't bother
to put them back either.
His mother spanked the child right there in the aisle,
and no one said anything to her, but I
heard an elderly woman behind me mutter
"How could she do that to her own child?"

I never thought much about spanking,
in fact, I was spanked myself when I was
younger. But more and more people
are saying that it is child abuse.
I never thought my mother was abusing me
when she spanked me...
Anyone agree or disagree?

I found this in my NKJV Bible:

Proverbs 13:24

I will go ahead and say no it is not abuse?

Scripturally you answered your own question---I was the director in a ministry similar to Teen Challenge for about 14 years---We were co-ed but had a lot of single moms with children---the moms were in horrible shape from drug abuse, prostitution etc etc---The kids were mostly abused pretty hurting little folks---As we helped the moms receive the Lords forgiveness, deliverance, spiritual and mental health, we also were working with the children showing them a love they had never encountered before---With that came guidelines and spankings---I was the one who administered the spankings---The kids caught on quickly and responded very well---I would never spank one without explaining why I was doing it and I would never let them off my lap without hugging them til they finished crying---These kids had never had anyone in their lives who cared enough for them to take the time to lovingly discipline them and they really responded to it were healed in so many ways from mostly dysfunctional to pretty normal little guys---In 14 years we never had a child failure---The moms not so much----I'll never forget little Amy----So dysfunctional to the point of not speaking properly and saliva just drueling out of her mouth uncontrollably---After 9 months she was completely healed and the brightest little thing imaginable---But her mom began to really rebel and for the sake of all the others in the ministry we had to decide to remove her---We bought her and Amy tickets to her home back east---I was the one who had to drive them to the bus station and it was horrible---When little Amy got on the bus she put her face against the window and just started crying so hard and then screaming, "Uncle Harold I want to stay with you, please don't make me go"---It was just heartbreaking but completely out of my control------------But that's how all the kids were as they really responded to loving discipline and yes spankings.

Happy

That made me tear up
Thank you for that story. It was touching and lovely.
And thank you for your insight as well.

I believe child beating in general is abuse and a faliure sign from the parents to communicate with the child, That faliure price is paid by the child only, no one else, though the child is not reposnible for it.
Personally I believe if it's spanking it would be more humiliating especially when the child get spanked or beated in genegral in fromt of others.

and I believe the rod that the Bible meant was the rod of love that a shephard has to guide it's sheep, I believe we can gain a child respect by making them love us, this is the rod, LOVE

I have communication problems because of rough unreasonable punishment I had when I was a child, and believe me, it hurts more than it helps, actually it doesn't discipline at all,

Jesus didn't punish one single child, and neither we should do, yet his remarkable love and his unique ability to communicate with them when he said in saint Mark Bible chapter 10 verses 14 and 15

But when Jesus saw it, he was moved with indignation, and said to them, “Allow the little children to come to me! Don’t forbid them, for the Kingdom of God belongs to such as these. 10:15 Most certainly I tell you, whoever will not receive the Kingdom of God like a little child, he will in no way enter into it.”

so can I spank or beat a child, a saint, an innocent angel, because I failed to communicate?
And who said I'm the right one?
Why always the parents must be right?
Maybe the child is the right one in many times, who gave me the right to condemn those saints,

some childern grew and say to themselves, my parents were Christians, see how bad they were to me, and they leave Christianity,

Some parents don't allow their children to reach to Jesus because of their reactions and impatience to them

I believe Love is the road, and the rod,
with love you can put your child on the right way, and make him or her follow Jesus.
but with spanking, or any other rough or disrespect punishment, we will lose them and lose ourselves too.

Originally Posted by dannibear

I am not a parent, but I would love answers from
parents themselves.
At Winn-Dixie the other day, a small child was causing
a little chaos in the store, running around bouncing
balls and not putting them back, and he knocked
some items off shelves by accident, but didn't bother
to put them back either.
His mother spanked the child right there in the aisle,
and no one said anything to her, but I
heard an elderly woman behind me mutter
"How could she do that to her own child?"

I never thought much about spanking,
in fact, I was spanked myself when I was
younger. But more and more people
are saying that it is child abuse.
I never thought my mother was abusing me
when she spanked me...
Anyone agree or disagree?

It's always good to see a parent who is willing to bring their child up with discipline. There happens to be a big difference between discipline and abuse. I take it this mother gave a swat to the behind and said something like straighten up. Discipline. Had this mother taken some sort of instrument and 'spanked' the child continusly there should have been someone to step in for the child. This doesn't appear to be the case.

As far as the obnoxious comment 'How could she do this to her own child?" She did this to help instill good manners rather than raise a child who believes the world revolves around them and they can do as they please without thought to anyone around.

I ask, which is more abusive to a child. The mother who will spank to get the attention of bad behaviour that needs correction OR the mother who will allow the child to constantly disrupt situations and then this 'child' to later find that the world really does not revolve around them nor do they always get what they want at the harm of others.

I also spanked my children. By the age of about 4-6, however, I was able to reason with them to a greater degree and spanking was not needed. It kind of depends on if a parent wants to take the time to explain things and get understanding from the child or not. Opps, sorry, the phrase "not enough time in the day" comes to mind with all of us trying to 'get ahead'. The only answer is THEN MAKE TIME. Where is the priority?

I have two children. One responds well when I explain to her what she did wrong and send her into time out. The other tells us that he refuses to go into time out and calls us names. We usualy exhaust other options first but usualy we find that the only dicipline the boy responds to is a spanking. The whole experience has taught me that every child is different. I think parents should be able to weigh the options on a case by case basis but at least start with the less harsh dicipline and only work their way up if they need to with that child.

Abuse is done after you've reached your boiling point. Discipline is done in love. Parents need to start realizing there "child" doesn't have the mental facilities to 'reason'. Conversation only lowers yourself to there level of reasoning. "In sin did my mother conceive me" David said. You don't have to teach a child to do "wrong"....its there nature.

I'm sure this will come off to some as racist, but oh well. I used to work at a Juvenile Detention Jail. The black kids always hated the white kids that talked bad about there mothers ,why , because the st*p*d white mothers never beat there hyde's."Its abuse"........PLEASE PEOPLE !!! God Bless the black mothers that put that beatin on there boys, they grow up to respect there mama's while the white boys would just as well spit in there mothers faces. For the record, I'm a white male.

Sorry, ^^^this is just an example not ALL. I've just seen to many kids grow up wild (family or not), and it ALL stems around the lack of proper parental discipline, hence ,sparing the rode.

Originally Posted by Donnie Ducati

Abuse is done after you've reached your boiling point. Discipline is done in love. Parents need to start realizing there "child" doesn't have the mental facilities to 'reason'. Conversation only lowers yourself to there level of reasoning. "In sin did my mother conceive me" David said. You don't have to teach a child to do "wrong"....its there nature.

I'm sure this will come off to some as racist, but oh well. I used to work at a Juvenile Detention Jail. The black kids always hated the white kids that talked bad about there mothers ,why , because the st*p*d white mothers never beat there hyde's."Its abuse"........PLEASE PEOPLE !!! God Bless the black mothers that put that beatin on there boys, they grow up to respect there mama's while the white boys would just as well spit in there mothers faces. For the record, I'm a white male.

Sorry, ^^^this is just an example not ALL. I've just seen to many kids grow up wild (family or not), and it ALL stems around the lack of proper parental discipline, hence ,sparing the rode.

That did come off as racist and was a horrible example.

I am sure that obviously the racist part wasn't your intention, but you should adjust your words. I know plenty of people who grew up fine without being punished physically. Physical punishment is primitive and shows weakness in the links in the chains of humanity. There are easier ways to tell a child that there are negative side effects for doing something bad, more effective ways.

Neither one is awful or bad, but you should always try to chose the best punishment and the most effective in every situation. Some types of punishment can harm a child emotionally.

Spanking our Children in their forming years was far and few between. I was very cautious disciplining our children as I was abused a lot growing up by my paternal father so this put doubts in my mind about discipline. If it was done it was not out of reaction but well thought out love. We told them what they were being punished for, followed it through, and when the tears began to subside we told them we loved them and asked them not to do it again. Sometimes they were in time out, other times once the punishment was over it was family time as usual.

We rarely spanked our children because they were really good children. We disciplined them by different means, ie time out, groundings, taking things what they love away from them for a while. For us this worked. I only have to raise my voice today and it can bring them to tears and they know if they have overstepped the mark.

We raised our kids they way they should go as the bible said; sometimes we spared the rod too. I am for spanking if it is done out of love and used as a correctional method of discipline. What I am not about is spanking just for the heck of it which happened a lot for me growing up and it was not done out of love.