Thank you for the post.I am going through domestic violence now and was looking to Gods word as to my situation.I have not found it but thanks again to opening the post. My heart is hurting and God is the only one to heal it.

That was an amazing post rizen1.

It is good to see someone touch on a subject not many choose to speak about, especailly in a Christ-like manner. When things get rough in marriages usually the first thought in a persons mind is to "get out" but divorce is definitely looked down upon in the Word of God.

It was a great post rizen1 and helped me look @ my marriage in a different perspective!

thanks! God bless you

I just recently escaped from an emotionally and physically abusive relationship.I say escaped literally.I was driven across Canada with my 2 year old son.2 and a half days of solid driving with no stops because we were afraid my ex was right behind us.Thank the Lord that nothing happened.
I realize what was said in the post was true.You should try to make things work with love in your heart and the name of God on your lips.
But..i lived for 3 and a half years with a man who was on drugs,a heavy drinker,very jealous and possesive.I was not even allowed to leave the house without his permission.Not even to take our child down the road to the park.He would not allow me to attend church because he was afraid i would meet a nice christian man and leave him.No christian music was tolerated and every day was a constant of name calling.Verbal abuse that i would never dare to repeat.2 and a half years ago i left him for the first time because events escalated one night,into him over top of me on the floor strangling me.God intervened that night and i was rescued by friends of mine just as i was starting to black out.I went back.If you get a chance anyone,to pick up some literature on abused women,please do.Because there were family members of mine that had never dealt with anything like this before and ended up cutting me out of their lives,because i chose to go back.Abused women are very misused and hurting and need all the support that you feel you can show them.All the talking won't do any good.Your love will.Let them know that you'll always be there for them,and that alone will mean the world.
I left my ex three other times in all.This last time being for good.I will never go back.God did indeed know how much i could bear and when it got to be too much He worked it out so that i had a way out of there,a way back home to be with people who care about me.
There is a Big difference between being abused and simple name calling in a marriage.Please do not confuse the two.And always know that God is there.All the time.If there's noone else you can talk to,talk to Jesus.

Fourty years ago, my wife and I married very dysfunctional people - we married each other. I can only talk about my role in the chaos. I'm a recovering alcoholic (sober 25 years). I was never physically abusive. But, that was because of fear more than anything else. These days, I tell people that I'm a 6'4" chicken.

However, tall men who have baritone voices like mine find it easy to intimidate others wihout risk to themselves. And I used that power against my wife and children for a long time. I think the major reasons my wife didn't divorce me are that she's a legalistic Roman Catholic (as oppposed to saved Roman Catholic) and she was afraid of what other people would think of her if she became divorced.

Long story short - God snatched me away from alcohol and set my feet on the salvation path in the summer of 1983 and He's done wondrous things in my life these tweny-five years. My wife went forward at a Billy Graham Crusade meeting in 2002 and I'm beginning to see signs of change in her as well.

Daizy, I say to you that you are doing the right thing in fleeing that marriage. Your ex is guilty of marital infidelity if for no other reason than that drugs and alcohol are his real marriage partners as of now. But, I would also advise you to pray for him, love him (from a distance), and get counselling for your own recovery. It may be that your relationship with him is salvageable. Also, you might find it helpful to attend some Al-Anon meetings. Al-Anon helps family members and friends of alcoholics/druggies to deal with the pain of their loved one's addiction(s).

Also, I'd advise you to change the order of priorities in the quote I show at the beginning of this message: You need Jesus to be your first resort, not your last resort.

SLE

An excellent post and to the point, I personaly think many partners want to leave their spouses cause they married for the wrong reasons, wives leave their husbands because they never truly loved them, maybe they got married because that is what society wants, maybe for money or looks, maybe for just the sake of being with someone.

When you fall in true Godly love, it never ends, you fight and argue, but you would never leave your spouse.

To everyone that experience abuse, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. God catches each tear that falls.

Quote:

Right Now. You want a change, it's written on your face You feel alone, a little out of place You hide away the scars and the mistakes You've been tired, uninspired, something's gonna give Right now He knows who you are The light and the dark He picks up your broken heart Right now He's telling the truth That you will make it through His love can rescue you Right now Right now

Right Now

Dear rizen1

I found this thread very difficult to read. It moved me to tears and to much prayer - thinking of what some of some of the ladies who have responded to this thread are going through.

Praise God for His promise in Hebrews 13:5 I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee

I do believe that marriage is a divine institution and that both husband and wife should prayfully work on resolving problems. I also know that our loving Father wouldn't want His dear children beaten, battered and abused. As Daizy said in her post there is a major difference between an 'up and down' marriage and serious violent abuse. In these cases, I think the abused wife must seek refuge in a place of safety at least whilst the situation is so dangerous.

Prayfully I have felt led to share just a little of my own personal experience in the hope that it may be helpful. I was led to this when thinking of the verse in Ephesians 5:22 Women submit to your husbands

For many years I was beaten into submission. I lived a robotic existence, serving the every whim of a violent man. My fear of his next beating, next torture or next humiliation ruled my every move. It allowed the terror in my heart to take control. Submitting to a violent man for me was like bowing down to a false god. I was no longer trusting the Lord to help and deliver me...although of course He was always there.
One day I was crouched in a corner with knives aimed at me. The man was demanding that I worshipped and bowed down to him. The verse Thou shalt have no other Gods before Me flooded into my heart. I refused to worship the man and prepared to die. At that very point the Lord provided a miraculous distraction and an escape route opened. Praise God, I took it and fled. This was one step on my long stubborn journey back to the Lord after being backslidden many years.

He brought me up..out of an horrible pit and set my feet upon a rock.
Psalm 40:2

The submission mentioned in Ephesians 5:22 refers to a loving, harmonious, devoted union. Never a violent degradation.

I will be praying for all of you who are going through a situation of domestic violence - that the Lord will guide and deliver you as He did me. That He will repair the broken marriage and heal all wounds. It is true He will never leave you or forsake you.

Thank you for taking time to read this

Julia

Thank you for that jskm.It meant alot,especially to know that you yourself have experienced the horror's of domestic violence as well.God will help all those who call on his name.

amen to that

Julia, I,too, was moved by your post. I believe that many women who visit this forum will be encouraged by your words.

SLE