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  1. #1
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    Close Friends of the Opposite Sex

    Should a married person have a close friend of the opposite sex?

    The Bible does not forbid close friendships between men and women. As Christians, however, there are some principles that we would be wise to heed. Married people especially need to be wary of friendships with members of the opposite sex because temptations are more likely to arise when there are marital problems. If a man's best friend is a woman who is not his wife, he is likely to share these problems with her, which can lead to an unhealthy emotional attachment.

    Most married men (or women) who have affairs purposely go out to find a romantic interest outside of their marriage. So many people say, "I didn't mean for it to happen; it just happened." These things "just happen" when we put ourselves in situations that are difficult to control. When a man has a wife who is not necessarily very attentive to his needs, he could easily feel that he has fallen in love with another woman who does give him this attention he craves.

    Even a marriage that is built on a foundation of faith in Christ and has relatively few problems is not immune to extra-marital temptations. This is why the Bible does not tell us to stick around and try to fight temptation, but to flee from it like we do from all "youthful lusts" (2 Timothy 2:22). Trying to fight temptation seems to become especially difficult when it comes to matters of the heart or the lusts of the flesh. First Corinthians 6:18 tells us that we need to run away from sexual sin, because it is much easier to run away from temptation than to stay and fight it.

    Married men and women should carefully avoid putting themselves in compromising situations when it comes to the opposite sex. If they are seen together in public, it will give the wrong impression. If they are alone on the phone or in person, they will subject themselves to the temptation of an emotional or physical affair. The Bible tells us that everything we do should be for the glory of God (1 Corinthians 10:31), so the wise thing would be to stick to visiting as couples or "double dating" with other married couples, as opposed to risking the complications associated with close friendships with the opposite sex.

    source: gotquestions.org

  2. #2
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    Wise counsel.

    Even those who are not looking for an external relationship, will find it. The heart is deceitful and Satan is no fool.
    Faith is like a muscle; the more you use it, the more powerful it becomes.

  3. #3
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    More marriages are broken up by "best friends" than most other causes.
    Personally, I do not see myself wanting to be in this type of situation and I agree with Chad's post 100%, flee temptation. Avoid even the appearance of evil.
    Psa 62:5 My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from him.

  4. #4
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    Run like you've never run before..

    Well Chad, a terrific posting you put up indeed. Personally, I don't bother maintaining relationships myself - with those of the other gender ? why ? well before I got married I enjoyed a vast variety of relationships with members of the opposite sex. While it's healthy, brings immense perspective - biblically - I'm weak. I can't and I won't and the worst is to bear the pain of caving in - especially knowing the power and influence I can have on a woman (not being boastful but self-awareness is key). I'm happily married now and God has been merciful and gracious and has blessed me with a wonderful, kind and loving wife. I couldn't ask for more !
    I read somewhere that when you do feel like you wanna cave in - you keep saying in your mind and heart that this person is like a sister to me and I therefore need to carry myself and relate accordingly. This helps !

    best,

    matt.

  5. #5
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    Very true, am sure many ppl will find it helpful
    "The shortest distance between a problem and it's solution is the distance between your knees and the floor"

  6. #6
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    here i go sticking my two cents worth in here:D

    let me first say that i absolutely agree with being wise in all things and, most importantly, walking holy in all things. may we bring honor and blessing to He Who is above all things! Amen!

    that said, however, i am one of those whose best friend is indeed one of the opposite gender. she is an awesome sister in the Lord and walks with all integrity before Him. and, yes, i am married AND she and my wife get along quite nicely:) through my life most of my closest friends have been women. i'm not sure i can explain this well enough but, frankly, i find they help me to stay connected. i am very heavily introverted and struggle with emotional connections. so for me it has been necessary to a degree to maintain HOLY feminine connections. otherwise i would withdraw into severe isolation. this particular sister and friend has tremendously helped me remember that people actually do have emotions and maybe i ought to consider them.

    now i know that nobody is telling me that i shouldn't have any female friends and i'm not drawing that conclusion. what i am saying is that it is very do-able if kept withing the confines of GODLY character. i would never dishonor nor demean this lady in so base a manner as to try and seduce her. her love and trust mean far more to me than any momentary orgasm, to be blunt. i surely hope to retain her fellowship for the rest of my natural life.

    so don't be afraid of opposite gendered friendships. be wise in them. be holy in them. treat them as precious treasures from the Father. i testify to you that they are and i do not regret the fact that my best friend (outside my wife) is a woman. just a little something to think about.

  7. #7
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    It is wise to step carefully when having relationships of the opposite sex...not counting family.

    Personally, my husband is my best friend. If I had a male friend, I would have my husband come with me and I would let my husband know everything we talked about...because my male friend would have to know that was the way my relationship with my husband is.

    When a friend knows you tell your spouse everything and then they want you not to, that is a red flag.

    I don't really have any male friends...not really. That probably has to do with the abuses I suffered at the hands of men...male family members.

    so yeah...
    ~Jen aka G4G~
    When I think about the Lord...

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    Wise counsel should be taken to heart. Especially to all the unmarried and married people reading this thread. On the wise counsel written above and on what I am going to write..
    For us two Mr. and Mrs. shipwrecksoul we know there are invisible lines not to cross. Why because sin lieth at the door. Another words I have no real close woman friends other than my wife. And she has no real close men friends other than me :). This constitutes a pledge for all others to see. A union thats to be admired and copied. An example how Jesus Christ is to the church and the church to Jesus Christ. A relationship thats not open for others because of the intimacy of our pledge one to another before God. An example that the devil hates because it shows faithfulness of the husband to the wife and the wife to the husband. A union that the children can have security because of the faithfulness which shows stability.
    No one in their right mind wants a broken marriage but to practice against wise counsel above the door is left open for abuse and temptation to happen.
    I hope I wrote this right.:shock:
    .

  9. #9
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    Yes, God knows us and he wants us to flee from tempetation. I have some Christian friends including the opposite sex friend, my husband knows them as well as I know them, and his family knows me as well as he knows me, we are like two family friends, we care each other, we cooperate with each other in business, it's a nice healthy relationship, the most important is we share the love of God together.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by aristotle View Post
    here i go sticking my two cents worth in here:D

    let me first say that i absolutely agree with being wise in all things and, most importantly, walking holy in all things. may we bring honor and blessing to He Who is above all things! Amen!

    that said, however, i am one of those whose best friend is indeed one of the opposite gender. she is an awesome sister in the Lord and walks with all integrity before Him. and, yes, i am married AND she and my wife get along quite nicely:) through my life most of my closest friends have been women. i'm not sure i can explain this well enough but, frankly, i find they help me to stay connected. i am very heavily introverted and struggle with emotional connections. so for me it has been necessary to a degree to maintain HOLY feminine connections. otherwise i would withdraw into severe isolation. this particular sister and friend has tremendously helped me remember that people actually do have emotions and maybe i ought to consider them.

    now i know that nobody is telling me that i shouldn't have any female friends and i'm not drawing that conclusion. what i am saying is that it is very do-able if kept withing the confines of GODLY character. i would never dishonor nor demean this lady in so base a manner as to try and seduce her. her love and trust mean far more to me than any momentary orgasm, to be blunt. i surely hope to retain her fellowship for the rest of my natural life.

    so don't be afraid of opposite gendered friendships. be wise in them. be holy in them. treat them as precious treasures from the Father. i testify to you that they are and i do not regret the fact that my best friend (outside my wife) is a woman. just a little something to think about.
    aristotle, you have explained how you feel, but how does your wife really feel? Your wife should be your closest friend and your only confident besides God.

    If you can't confide in your wife, but you can confide in your best female friend then......?

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