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  1. #1
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    Nosy neighbor...help!

    I have a nosy neighbor and she is about 40 and works from home. She told me a few years back that she was unhappy in her marriage. Then she continued to ask questions about my husband and started saying little negative things about him and how she felt bad for me that I had to do the yard work ect...I cannot believe I put up with that those years ago...I wish I would have put her in her place. My nature is to be very sweet and kind and yet I know I was conditioned as a child to be way too nice and I should have put a stop to this. So fast forward to this year....my neighbor gossips about the other neighbor next door now and I change the subject. I am so mad at myself for putting up with this. She drives by and it is like she is trying to look inside my windows. She started following me on pinterest and so I deleted it and she sent me another request to join(you would think she knew I quit for a reason!) I canceled my account with a company she was involved in and somehow she found out immediately and texted me and asked why. I am so wanting to delete her from my facebook page but would that cause conflict with the neighbor situation? Should I just delete her? Any ideas on how I can assert myself with her if she keeps bugging me? I think that I am being way to nice. I am so mad at myself for putting up with this for so long. Any ideas or thoughts about this? Maybe I care too much what she thinks......

  2. #2
    Member Julie1983's Avatar
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    I have a nosy neighbor who watches everyone out her window all day and drives like a maniac and a noisy neighbor who blasts her stereo for 12 hours straight and I can even hear the tv, the bass is so loud!

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    You seriously should not put up with this woman at all, block her on Facebook and tell her you just didn't want your Facebook anymore, it's not her business. Gossiping about others is a horrible thing and you shouldn't be friends with such a gossiper. Just minimize your chats with her, she doesn't seem like a godly friend that can teach you anything or help you grow.
    A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions

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    ask God for the wisdom and knowledge on what to do and how to handle it appropriately. maybe also ask for the strength to do it too. sometimes the biggest part of confrontation is the part that leads up to it. maybe if the words are right as well as attitude you can tactfully show her that her actions are wrong and maybe she will change. women who are unhappy in their marrige are ussually hurt or lonely and just need a friend. maybe some guidance or a "good" friend. i would say offer her love and if she recieve it and change then you have earned a friend. if not you should keep your distance. if thats what you wanna do, of course.

  5. #5
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    Thank you for your thoughts on this. I have decided to go the gentle approach and not tell her why I deleted her. It would really hurt her and cause an enemy of our neighbors as well. I decided to tell her if she asks that I am scaling back on my social networking sites (which I am) and that I am only keeping facebook for close friends and family. How does that sound? Should I change it or add anything to soften it? Thanks so much for your help! God bless!

  6. #6
    Member Miss Elly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by daisy31 View Post
    I have a nosy neighbor and she is about 40 and works from home. She told me a few years back that she was unhappy in her marriage. Then she continued to ask questions about my husband and started saying little negative things about him and how she felt bad for me that I had to do the yard work ect...I cannot believe I put up with that those years ago...I wish I would have put her in her place. My nature is to be very sweet and kind and yet I know I was conditioned as a child to be way too nice and I should have put a stop to this. So fast forward to this year....my neighbor gossips about the other neighbor next door now and I change the subject. I am so mad at myself for putting up with this. She drives by and it is like she is trying to look inside my windows. She started following me on pinterest and so I deleted it and she sent me another request to join(you would think she knew I quit for a reason!) I canceled my account with a company she was involved in and somehow she found out immediately and texted me and asked why. I am so wanting to delete her from my facebook page but would that cause conflict with the neighbor situation? Should I just delete her? Any ideas on how I can assert myself with her if she keeps bugging me? I think that I am being way to nice. I am so mad at myself for putting up with this for so long. Any ideas or thoughts about this? Maybe I care too much what she thinks......
    You could be honest with her and tell her that you are not interested in being friends with her and let it go at that. Let her sputter, what can she do?

  7. #7
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    Everything we do should be based upon the person of Jesus Christ and the written word of God.

    The most important thing to do is to make sure that you believe the gospel and are obeying it. If you have the spirit of God living within you and directing your life then all of the fruit of your lips will be in truth and full of love, peace, joy, patience, self-control, goodness, gentleness, meekness and faith. A Christians first goal when working with another human being is the others salvation.

    It is easy to deal with others when they are believers who are also obeying the truth. Conflict only arises from desires in the hearts of people.

    Does this woman claim to know Jesus as Lord and Savior?

    If not then you need to offer her the gospel. If she has no interest in being a Christian then you need to sever your personal ties with her (friendship) except for any conversations that might lead to her salvation that is in Christ Jesus.

    If she claims to believe then her sin needs to be addressed by someone who is 'spiritual' as Galatians puts it. In our modern day church it is frowned upon to confront another persons sin as they believe that everyone sins everyday but this isn't biblical. We are to 'wash each others feet' and help to keep each other spotless and blameless in love. The bible openly speaks about those women who become idle, turning into busybodies in others lives. The problem most people face is that they haven't got themselves cleansed from sin and do not sit in a position of being able to be useful to others in this manner.

    The church of Laodicea was full of people who thought they were clothed with the righteousness of Jesus Christ and could see and understand but instead were told that they were miserable, blind and naked. We must all put on the Lord Jesus Christ and do our works accordingly. I pray the Lord will strengthen you in the areas that you are having difficulty with in your christian walk and lead you into all truth through the Holy Spirit.

    In Christ,

    Gary

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