I'm a Catholic, and until recently I'd never had a serious boyfriend. I met my boyfriend at my university last term, and we clicked immediately. He is gentlemanly, respectful and patient, and unlike other men I've dated he never pushes me to sleep with him or teases me for my religion. However, he's not a Catholic, in fact he's a practising Muslim. My parents are delighted with him and adore him, but some people in my parish have been less accepting and suggested I should only get serious with another Catholic. I feel concerned, because if we should go further in our relationship and marry, both of our religions have certain demands. My church teaches it's wrong to marry a non-Catholic, and that my children would need to be raised Catholic, and his faith teaches that his wife should convert and that the kids much be raised Muslim. We have both talked at length and have compromised on the issue, saying our children will be exposed to both faiths and will make the choice themselves which way they want to go, but I still wonder if I'm doing the right thing. We aren't to the point of getting engaged yet, and may never be, but I wondered what people thought about a Catholic woman dating a Muslim man.

Dear Lauren7,

It is wonderful that you are seeing a man who respects you as a woman. Its great that your parents feel good about him. You met him last term and it sounds like you have had serious discussion about a life time commitment.

I don't agree that the Catholic church dictate who you can marry. As an adult you have freewill to choose, and can ask our Father anything you need, however, you did not mention in your thread, where is our Father in all this, first? Is your relationship with this man Christ centered? Our Father is a jealous God and you cannot serve two Gods in a marriage or in life. It is scriptural.

Please read and meditate from the new Catholic Edition of the Holy Bible Exodus 20:3 & 5 "thou shalt not have strange gods before me"
And the NIV Study Bible Exodus 20:3 & 5 " for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God"

Lauren7, There is much, much, to think about here. You may have already had these discussions with your gentleman friend. I strongly suggest you keep an open heart to our Father's direction here and earnestly seek your authorized priest, or minister, sister. Perhaps your gentleman friend may want to attend with you. He may want the both of you to seek his teacher from the Muslim faith. I have faith the Truth will be revealed here as we lift up you and your gentleman friend in prayer.

Our God cannot honor you by compromising Jesus Christ in your life with another god, I believe the Holy Spirit will give you discernment, Lauren7, to seek and let the Truth be revealed.

Your brother in Christ Jesus.

I agree with bobinfaith. I need to find out where the lord is in this relationship. You also need to talk to your friend and find out exactly where he stands.

Lauren7 I will respond to you as best as i can. I believe from others who has posted that you know what your god says. I really dont know where your relationship with god is but the bottom line is that god is the creator of the universe and hw would not go against his word, he's a good that would never lie. So why would god intend for you to marry a man who doesnt yet have a relationship with christ. I was tested by god in this and she seemed to be the greatest person but she was not a believer. God broke it off himself when i told about being unequally yoked. Women may have more difficulty but god has someone out their for you pray and fast and his will will be revealed.

Hey! This might not help, but I like this website. I'm new. I could never change my beliefs no matter how much I cared for someone. I couldn't marry that person. I don't know what you should do.

Dear sw6492:

Thank you for your honesty and yes, its not easy but a good start is prayer for Lauren7.

Please read and meditate from the new Catholic Edition of the Holy Bible Exodus 20:3 & 5 "thou shalt not have strange gods before me"

And the NIV Study Bible Exodus 20:3 & 5 " for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God"


Your brother in Christ Jesus.

Lauren 7, I'm new to this site and just read your post.

I know how hard it is when you meet someone that you think is great and you "click". (I've been there.) However, the enemy loves to do this -- bring someone to you that is just great, everything you wanted in a guy. However, what do you want? A relationship with God ... or a guy? Can you trust God to bring you a guy that is even better than this Muslim? He can do it if you trust Him. The grief that you will endure if you marriage outside of your faith will be enormous. God said not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers. Trust me, He is saying this for your own good, not to be mean.

Trust Him and let this one go. God has something better for you. Believe me.

Living for Him

i want to advice you to froget this person because he is interested to take you out from the way of salvation.

Can't remember the exact verse but GOD tells us in the bible to be with the same yolk in marriage. Makes sense afterall :)

It is exciting when someone shows us kindness and treats us with concern and respect. I know that you have been praying for someone who would be the kind of person. Someone who would honor you for who you are and be respectful of your person.

However, I wish to rely what I counsel the youth at our congregation. I am a Youth Pastor and this subject comes up often. There are several considerations when dealing with this subject.

First, We have put the cart before the Horse when it comes to dating. In the world today we have forgotten that each date should be viewed as a potential spouse. We have also forgotten that we should only date individuals who are our friends. Well, you may be thinking how do we become friends without dating? You probably have many friends that you have not dated. You make new ones the same way. By going out on groups outings, with Church Singles, Sunday School Classes, College Clubs, or groups of existing friends. These outings should be "dutch", each person paying their own way, useless the whole group is payed for by the Church, class or club. This takes all the pressure of dating away and allows you to see people as friends with no expectations. All this allows us to become friends first. It also allows us to decide if someone is date worthy, and thereby marriage worthy.

Secondly, there is a real spiritual aspect here. We are built for eternity. Each person who is alive today will live forever. The choice we have is where we will spend it. There are two options, Heaven or Hell. As a believer we have, Heaven. Those who do not follow Christ have Hell. This choice has nothing to do with how "gentlemanly" we are. In fact the Bible tells us it does not, in Ephesians 2:8-9 it tells us; "For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast." We cannot be good enough to get into Heaven, it is God's grace that saves us through faith in Jesus. The Bible is clear, it is not being a "good" guy that counts. The Bible warns us that we cannot judge "good" things. In fact our enemy, the Devil can appear to be good by worldly standard. 2Cor 11:14 says; "And no marvel; for Satan himself is transformed into an angel of light." Even Satan can appear as an Angel of light. Be careful not to use standards that the world uses to determine "good" in a person. The Bible tells us in Romans 3:10; "As it is written, There is none righteous, no, not one:" Apart from Christ we are not good.

This is important for you to understand, since we are eternal beings we need to stop thinking temperally. We must think eternally. If a Christian marries a Non-Christian then they will spend eternity in different places. It is nice to have someone to spend the rest of this life with, but do you desire that person to spend eternity in Hell? I am not encouraging "salvation dating", that is to say, dating someone in hopes of converting them. We cannot convert anyone, only God converts. In Exodus 33:19 God says, "I will make all my goodness pass before thee, and I will proclaim the name of the LORD before thee; and will be gracious to whom I will be gracious, and will shew mercy on whom I will shew mercy. " This is repeated in Romans 9:15; "For he saith to Moses, I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I will have compassion." I am not telling you that we are to have no interaction with non-Christians. In fact the Bible tells us we are to interact with the world. However, this interaction is for one purpose. Matthew 28:19-20; "Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost: Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you alway, even unto the end of the world. Amen." We interact to share Jesus, and this interaction should be limited to that purpose. We are also warned about our relationships, according to 2Cor 6:14 "Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?" We are not to have deep relationships with non-beleivers. This includes business partnerships, best-friend type relationships, dating, marriage, organization or club memberships.

I ask that you read the above verses for yourself as well as the verse before and after each reference for context. As you read ask God to reveal the truth to you about this matter. He will. I will pray for you as well.

In Christ Service,
Terry