I couldn't really figure out the best place to put this, so I figured
this would be the best area of the forum. Sorry this is long,
but there's a lot of issues involved with this.
The few friends I do have live out-of-state from me, so it's not possible to hang out with them in person. Contact with them via phone/e-mail is sporadic. Gradually the other friendships I've had, they've just let them drift, and treat me like I don't exist.
I haven't really had any new friendships in about 5 years.
I've tried to make new friends, but have encountered numerous problems while attempting to do so.
1.I can't find anybody my age who shares my interests. I have to have more in common with a person than we're both real Christians to develop a decent friendship with them.
2.The people who I do have something in common with, are much older than me. This isn't a problem, but unfortunately it makes it very difficult to be able to relate to them. We have different views on
life, due to the age gap, and yes this applies to older Christians too.
3. The people who DO share my interests and we have similar personalities, views, etc. I can't hang out with them in person,
due to the physical barrier.
4.Half the time in order to befriend somebody I have to put on a mask, act and think a certain way to be accepted. Being myself
isn't good enough.
There is the issue of trust. I anticipate developing a decent
friendship, and as soon as that happens, it will just drift, and
I'll be treated like I don't exist. I immediately think this will happen, because it's how I've been accustomed to being treated for years on end.
Last but not least people will probably say 'you have to be a friend to have a friend'. That if you're always miserable and depressed to be around, you don't deserve friends. With real friends, they don't
just ditch you because you're going thru a hard time, they're
there for you thru thick and thin.
I wish people would try to understand that I wouldn't be so
miserable, depressed, stressed, angry etc. if I had support from true friends. I'm not saying this justifies how I act, I'm just making a point. I do try to be aware of my actions and thoughts, how
they affect others.
People say that not everybody is like this, however with friends, and trying to make them, these are the kind of people I keep encountering. Sadly, in regards to friendships, non-Christians have treated me better than Christians. Not all Christians do this, but
most of them have.