I have been married for 3 years, I am into a very though decision, about divorcing my wife or keep trying and waiting for my marriage to be restored.
I been living a very bad marriage since day one even before got married, but I still married her, we both go to church, I always thought this was a good thing because we would really live a Christian life together,
I have tried the most I can think to restore my marriage, I have spoke to my wife numerous times about her bad temper, trying to make her understand she is hurting me and making the marriage flunk, I have been constantly insulted, physically and mentally abused , I have prayed for her many many times. I have asked our pastors who married us to pray and help on our marriage.
We went to a psychology, and he diagnosed her with anger management. We went several times together, and she went other times alone until she quitted going,
She would lose control in seconds and physically and verbally attack me. Not to a point of going to hospital but wounds that leave scars. Like with nails. The main problem is that she would change to a very sweet, loving person, after some minutes of rage, extremely bad, abusive behavior.
She would get upset about things like, not picking immediately when she calls on phone, touching one of her belongings, hanging one of my clothes incorrectly, let the dirty come out when I was outside cleaning the patio ,small things like saying a different word that what she would have told, (for example not lying in something), she just find the smallest thing to let away the aggression, every error on my like passing a street that I should have turned , not calling a family member when I forgot a birthday, I know some people will get at some point mad, but here my wife is going from mad to extremely angry, and violent.
When I am studying the bible she says things like you think you are a saint, haha, I would rep0ly no I am not but I am trying here to be sanctified more every day, and you should do the same.
When we were married she also cheated me with other man, I never saw her but I was told she would go out and even someone saw her in a car kissing a guy.
She denied few times, than se kind of accepted it, this happened about 2 years ago,
I would love to me and my wife grow together in our Christian walk, and be waling on the same direction, I have humiliated myself, I have never loose my temper to physically hurt her at all, I usually just leave her for some hours , and pray .
I been trying to keep this marriage, but at this time I just want the best for us. I am a little afraid of a divorce, as I know is bad, and you can't get married again. I am 30 yd and this would be kind of hard to make my mind to be single ,this but I know that with the Lord I will never let me alone.


Yesterday I was talking on the phone and she was listening and trying to tell me what to say in my conversation, and since I couldn’t focus I was pausing on the phone, and she got absolutely mad, at the point that she threw the Bible towards me (she would have through anything that she had nearby). This really made me very sad, Honestly I don’t know what to do next, is very difficult, to face a situation, I have allow this events for almost 3 years, but I desperately need this to change, I have forgiven her, and still want to save the marriage, but if this would be a constant fight, and letting me being abused, I don’t want to go on.
This is something I haven’t shared with anyone on our church, other than my pastor, and my mother in law.
Please pray for this I have shared with all you. Pray for my wife, and for me to overcome and have the wiser decision.
Ps. Sorry my English is not very good , but I hope you can understand it.

God Bless you

Hi Rickygtz,

though I can never truely understand just what you are going through in this situation I want to say how sorry I am you are hurting. Noone has the right to hurt someone else or abuse them in any form. The decisions you face right now are big ones and I wanted to offer you some bible verses that may help you in this difficult time.

Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. No matter what happens Jesus will give you the strength to get through. He will not give you more than you can handle.

Philippians 4:19 and My God shall supply all your needs according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus. He will not leave you alone in this ricky He will supply your need and sustain you.

Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your paths.

I cannot tell you what decision to make for your marriage, however I do know that Jesus wants the best for each one of us and that does not include being abused verbally, physically or mentally. God can make miracles happen this I know to be true and do I believe He can change your wife's heart yes I do, but she has to want to change too. Keep on praying and seeking God and His will for you in this matter and He will direct your paths and let you know where He wants you. Remember You are loved by God and are precious to Him, He does not want you to live in fear or saddness. Know that I am lifting you up in prayer to our Lord Jesus and will be lifting your wife up in prayer also. May God bless you richly and supply you with the comfort, strength and peace that only He can give.

Your sister and friend in Jesus
AA

Thanks for this words, actually has said that if this is what I want that she would leave, and then turns to the good personality I liked about her, the only thing is that as soon anything triggers this bad temper, explosive violent behavior, she would be back and say completely different things, this makes thing harder for me, I am affriad sometimes, I don't like this other personality that she turns into,

Brothers in Christ help me pray for wisdom and for my wife so God transform her and change her heart, and she let God tranform her.

I want us to be on the same paths and to have a true marriage that pleases and honor God. I really need wisdom and strenght, I been waiting and trying for more than 3 years

Please pray for us her name Sylvia , and my name is Ricardo

God Bless you.

Ricardo,

I am praying for you and Sylvia. I very much respect your perseverance in your marriage and your trust in God that He can do BIG things in the hearts of people. I am praying that you don't lose hope and that your wife is able to humble herself before God and ask for His help to overcome these struggles.

I realize this thread was started six weeks ago. However, it is never too late to do the right thing.

I have been married for 3 years, I am into a very though decision, about divorcing my wife or keep trying and waiting for my marriage to be restored.
I been living a very bad marriage since day one even before got married, but I still married her, we both go to church, I always thought this was a good thing because we would really live a Christian life together,

Is that a denominational church? If so, which denomination?

We went to a psychology, and he diagnosed her with anger management. We went several times together, and she went other times alone until she quitted going,

Turning to the world for help can only worsen the situation.

She would lose control in seconds and physically and verbally attack me. Not to a point of going to hospital but wounds that leave scars. Like with nails. The main problem is that she would change to a very sweet, loving person, after some minutes of rage, extremely bad, abusive behavior.
She would get upset about things like, not picking immediately when she calls on phone, touching one of her belongings, hanging one of my clothes incorrectly, let the dirty come out when I was outside cleaning the patio ,small things like saying a different word that what she would have told, (for example not lying in something), she just find the smallest thing to let away the aggression, every error on my like passing a street that I should have turned , not calling a family member when I forgot a birthday, I know some people will get at some point mad, but here my wife is going from mad to extremely angry, and violent.

My wife and I have an addictions ministry. While we deal largely with the spirits of drunkenness (alcohol) and pharmakeia (drugs), your description of your wife's ongoing behavior nonetheless fits one of classic demonic oppression.

...I have spoke to my wife numerous times about her bad temper, trying to make her understand she is hurting me and making the marriage flunk, I have been constantly insulted, physically and mentally abused...

When I am studying the bible she says things like you think you are a saint, haha, I would rep0ly no I am not but I am trying here to be sanctified more every day, and you should do the same.

Expect your faith in Jesus Christ and his word to be mocked.

I would love to me and my wife grow together in our Christian walk, and be waling on the same direction, I have humiliated myself, I have never loose my temper to physically hurt her at all, I usually just leave her for some hours , and pray .
I been trying to keep this marriage, but at this time I just want the best for us. I am a little afraid of a divorce, as I know is bad, and you can't get married again. I am 30 yd and this would be kind of hard to make my mind to be single ,this but I know that with the Lord I will never let me alone.

...Honestly I don't know what to do next, is very difficult, to face a situation, I have allow this events for almost 3 years, but I desperately need this to change, I have forgiven her, and still want to save the marriage, but if this would be a constant fight, and letting me being abused, I don't want to go on.

The fact that you have posted in this forum indicates that you have not yet given up.

DON'T GIVE UP.

This is my advice: No matter what she does, LOVE YOUR WIFE UNCONDITIONALLY and pray for her healing. Jesus loves us in the same way, and you are the priestly head of your house.

You will heap burning coals upon the enemy when you do as the Lord has commanded you to do: LOVE YOUR WIFE UNCONDITIONALLY - no matter what! The enemy will not stand for your Godly responses forever. No doubt it will feel strange at first to return LOVE for her hate. Respond to, and follow-up, each and every one of her actions with UNCONDITIONAL LOVE and then pray for her deliverance.

This is something I haven't shared with anyone on our church, other than my pastor, and my mother in law.
Please pray for this I have shared with all you. Pray for my wife, and for me to overcome and have the wiser decision.

My entire family and I will be praying for you and her this evening.

Ricardo- i believe (may be wrong) you guys are Catholics. If You are Catholics then I see what may be the problem. Many Catholics belong to the church. They are baptized as children. They even make catechism but there is one thing and that's the most important thing that is missing. It is good to know Jesus came from God died on the cross and rose again. I have met many Catholics who knew Jesus in their head but never invited him into their heart. I have helped lead many many Catholics to a personal relationship with God using only the information they already believed in their head. It's in the Catholic Bible as well but often in many individual churches if nobody teaches that you must be born again then you believe in God. You will swear by your church and by the Pope and be a good person even but you're still not saved. I am not attacking the Catholic Church. There are many many many Catholics who love God and are born again. Jesus said, " unless a man is born again he cannot even see the kingdom of God". how can you Ricardo know that you are saved. It is easy. This is a prayer you say one time and not over and over again. Say this prayer out loud and if you mean it in your heart you will know that you are born again and in right standing with God.
Dear Jesus, I come to you like a child..Jesus I repent of sin in my life. I believe you are the Son of God and you died for my sins and rose again to be seated with the Father in heaven. Wipe my slate clean and fill me with your HOLY SPIRIT to overflowing. Lead me, guide me in all I do. I put my marriage in your hands and as long as my wife is willing I will love,love,love her and pray for her to be born again. Thank you for saving me Jesus. Forever be my Lord and Saviour. I will praise you my God as long as I have breath

Hi brother stephenelijah, I was saved and born again on fall 2008, one year before I got married. I still remember when I surrender to Jesus and accepted His love and sacrifice and asked him to forgive me and enter in my heart. I was very new in the Lord when I got married. I agree with you , no religion saves men, is just by faith and grace in Jesus Christ. I have seen the mighty hand of God working on every aspect of my live. I have seen his love reflected in my life. I love God , I just really would like to grow along with my wife in a christian walk. But I cannot change my wife, just myself. I ask to pray for God to soften his heart and change her bad temper.
God bless you.

I am definately praying for you and Sylvia. Unfortunately, I can't give you much advice because I am the one in my relationship with the anger problem. I know from the other side of the situation, she really needs you to pray for her and be as patient as possible with her. No it is not right for her to treat you like this but God doesn't want marriages to end like this.

I wish I could help more but know you and Sylvia are in my prayers.

Be Blessed!!

What you are dealing with is found in the bible under the Hebrew word chemah.

H2534
חמא חמה
chêmâh chêmâ'
khay-maw', khay-maw'
From H3179; heat; figuratively anger, poison (from its fever): - anger, bottles, hot displeasure, furious (-ly, -ry), heat, indignation, poison, rage, wrath (-ful). See H2529.

That is what you need to ask the Lord to take away from her. Because when one thing is taken away, something else has to fill it up, then we go to the scriptures to find the things to
ask the Lord to fill her with.

When looking up that word chemah, and the other words connected with it, here is what is found within the verses.

Shub - reverse / restore
Bush - ashamed
Tsaaq - Cry to Lord
Shama - Lord to hear
Yare - fear the Lord
Yeshua - salvation
Qum - Lord to arise
Riyb - plead
Gaal - remember the Lord
Tsedaqah - righteousness
Natsal - deliver
Panah - turn away from rage
Nus - flee from rage
Kasha - cover / hide
Nachal - inheritance of Lord
Musar - correction
Batach - refuge
Qarab - draw near to Lord
Chakah - wait upon the Lord
Barar - be pure
Abad - serve the Lord
Chasah - trust the Lord


Ask the Lord to bind the spirit of rage, and loose the things that are opposite of that. Look these words up in the bible and say those scritpures that pertain to your personal situation over yourself and your wife. Use the scritpures as
a heart felt prayer.