Dear Iloverock24

I believe as Br.Bear stated that this needs careful prayful attention and that is good scriptural advice.

Be careful for nothing: but in everything by prayer ...let your requests be made known unto God Phil 4:16

I have prayed and sought the Lord's guidance before writing here and I do feel led to say the following. I am very sorry that you are having such a difficult time at the moment but.......

Firstly...the anger and resentment in your words leaped out of the page and hit me. You may have a difficult relationship with your mother but some of the ways in which you referred to her was in language that I wouldnt see as glorifying to our blessed Lord Jesus.

I believe that you need to pray to the Lord to help you deal with all the anger and hurt in your heart. Ask Him to fill your heart with love for your mother and to give you Christlike loving responses.....rather than getting involved in arguments. Imagine that the Lord is standing in the room everytime you are with your mother and think how He would want you to respond.

....be gentle unto all men 1 Timothy 2:24

....Honour thy father and thy mother Exodus 20:12

Think of the Lord Jesus...who was constantly abused, tortured and hated by men yet

..He was oppressed and He was afflicted, yet He opened not His mouth: He is brought as a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before her shearers is dumb, so He openeth not His mouth.... Isaiah 53:7

You also say that my mum and cousin are athiest.
They need the Lord. Your mum is responding from a heart still weighed down by sin. She needs your prayers...she needs the Saviour. Rather than seeing her as a manipulative controlling women...see her as a desparately lost soul. Ask the Lord to burden your heart to pray for her more and more.

Secondly you are an adult. I don't know all your circumstances. However, you perhaps need to ask yourself why you keep yourself in what sounds almost like a victim role. You and your mother are both playing a part in this somehow...and you've got stuck in these unhealthy negative roles.

Take it to the Lord and ask him to take control. You do need to be willing to change. Prayerfully put everything into His hands. He may lead you to seek some sort of support and advice from church, professionals or a friend.

Just keep the wonderful love of the Saviour in mind all the time. When you feel hurt or when you want to react think of how Jesus would have responded if He was faced with the same situation.

This is the message that ye heard from the beginning, that we should love one another 1 John 3:11

God bless you and I will keep this in prayer

Julia